Rising Tide
by Aretee
Summary: After becoming tribe historian, Raven finally understands why her best friend, Seth, pulled away from her. Now, she's falling in love with him. Seth feels it, but he's seen and felt the pain of a broken heart when a wolf finds a different imprint and Leah won't let him forget it. Can Raven & Seth find happiness in each other even for a short time? Post BD. Thanks to S. Meyer.
1. Chapter 1--Waiting for the Tide

**A/N: So here is my second fanfic, but my first Twilight fic. I'm introducing a new character right off the bat, because I want our sweet Seth to have a sweet friend. I began this as a one-shot, but the more I write, the more I realize I might just make a story out of this. Please read and review. If you write fics, you know how important the feedback is.**

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"Hey, Raven!" Jacob yelled from across the beach. He ran towards me and my heart flipped in my chest. Seeing Jacob emerge from the woods meant that Seth should be right behind him and I couldn't wait to see my Seth.

"Hey, Jake." I said putting my books back into my backpack. I'd finished up my homework waiting for them to emerge so now I had the rest of the weekend free. It always amazed me that they could run so fast and not be out of breath. "Is Seth behind you?" I could feel the blush creep up my neck and I was very grateful for my bronze skin and the fact the cool night air already made my cheeks pink. I'd like to think that was the case, anyway.

"Yeah. Nessie was scratching behind his ears and you how he gets when his leg gets shaking." Jacob grinned his toothy white smile at me. I could see why so many of the girls down here were willing to throw their panties at him, but they didn't know about imprinting. And, they didn't know that Jake had imprinted on his best friend's baby.

I wasn't supposed to know about the pack or imprinting since only imprints were supposed to be let in on the secret. I had not imprinted on anyone, though sometimes it felt like I had. I have always had a deep fascination with the tribal histories and I spent a lot of time with Billy Black recording them so they could be compiled into a grand volume. Billy stressed that the wording be very specific so that the legends don't morph over time. The first evening I spent there was learning the training that tribal bards had to undertake just to be able to tell the histories accurately and with the same inflection every time they were recited. He demonstrated the difference it could make if one word were emphasized more than another. I was enthralled and Billy was glad to have an avid listener.

I returned the Black's tiny little house about twice a week for the next month listening to different legends and recording them. I love them and soaked them in. I typed up the manuscripts and Billy read them for accuracy and made corrections the gave them back to me to finish. It began as a school project, but I really wanted to chronicle the stories so that they wouldn't be lost. Besides, it didn't seem like the younger generation of Quileute boys were too interested in preserving the traditions. I had just asked Billy if he had noticed the same when Jacob came barreling into the house completely naked. "Hey dad! Did you…" Jacob stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me and quickly ducked into the kitchen. "Sorry, Raven!" Jake called from behind the wall chuckling.

"Son, I told you that Raven was going to be here tonight recording the legends." Billy said in his deep baritone voice rolling his eyes. Jacob must have had some shorts in the kitchen because when he came back out he was clad in cut off sweats holding an apple.

"I know, I just forgot. Has he been boring you to tears?" He asked taking a bite out of his apple. I was speechless. I had just seen Jacob Black completely naked and he was acting like nothing happened. If I could sell the memory to the other girls on the Res I could afford that new laptop I'd been eyeing for the past six months. But Jacob didn't look ruffled at all. I closed my mouth, which I realized had fallen open. He didn't need to think I was chasing after him.

"A…no?" I stammered. "Jacob, why were you outside naked?" I asked not hiding the fact that I had actually seen his buff and tan body streak into the kitchen. "And Billy, why aren't you upset?" Billy and I had developed a rather comfortable relationship over the past month and I could tell that this wasn't really an odd occurrence. It was that night that Billy told me the legends were true. And that since I had shown such a keen interest in the tribal histories as well as an aptitude at recording and telling them, that he and the council decided that I should know the secret. Jacob phased when I refused to believe them and again I saw copper of his rear as he ran back into the kitchen to get redressed.

That is when I learned that my best friend, Seth, was also part of the pack. Seth and I had grown up together and were inseparable until he phased the first time and then he quit talking to me. I had never been more hurt and more lost in my entire life. Seth was like the moon pulling my moods like the tide. When he wasn't there, I was low and he was gone for months without a word. It was, perhaps the lowest point of my short fifteen years.

It had been Jacob's doing that he began talking to me again. Jake saw how much it hurt Seth to stay away from me. He convinced Sam that talking to friends not in the pack was essential to keeping the pack a secret. So Seth started calling me on the phone. I was so grateful to have any contact with him. Then, when he joined Jake's pack, he was allowed to see me whenever he wasn't patrolling. Of course I didn't know what he was doing until Billy told me.

So, here I was, almost three years later, and I had slowly admitted to myself that I was falling for my best friend who was stuck in the body of a fifteen year old. I saw him burst through the trees as I thought about his physical age. Okay, he was a very mature and very buff fifteen year old. Jake was frozen at sixteen, but he looked twenty-five; Seth looked about twenty. Thinking about this always depressed me, though. I was not a beautiful and fit specimen of womanhood. I was not a petite and beautiful little Bella Swan. I have always been chunky, but the months without Seth had made food my best friend. I stuck my pinky nail between my teeth, but couldn't hold back my smile as Seth's pace slowed about ten feet in front of me. I stood up to give him a hug. I hadn't seen him in a few days.

"Hey beautiful!" He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground and swung me in circles. He called me beautiful enough that I almost believed it…almost. I don't know how he couldn't know how I felt about him. But we had known each other for so long and we were just so comfortable with each other, I didn't know how to cross to something…more. I giggled because his strength made me feel little and petite as he whirled me round and round.

"What do you have planned? Jake says I have two whole days off!" He set me down on the ground and his arm snaked around my waist when I stumbled dizzily backwards.

I had been planning for days and made Jacob promise he wouldn't call Seth out. There was no threat right now with only good vampires around. "Not much." I lied. "Mom is away for the weekend so I figured we could have an old time movie night like we used to have." I love that he smiled at this idea.

"It's not all chick flicks, is it?" He asked as he hooked his arm around my neck and pulled me along in a playful manner. He reached down with his other hand and picked up my backpack. "You better have gotten some good ole action flicks, too."

"Do you know me?" I asked with a terrible Italian accent. "Do I know you?" I was talking with my hands, which was kind of difficult because he was still holding me by my neck. "Of course I got some action movies!"

Seth snorted as he let me go. "What impersonation are you trying to do?" He pulled me into his side. I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me. He couldn't or he would stop and I'm not going to tell him. I relished every touch no matter how playful or how...friendly.

"I don't know." I answered keeping the terrible accent up. "I just like tryin' ta do this accent!"

Jacob had walked on in front of us headed towards his little house. He looked back at Seth. "You two be good!" He called. "And don't keep him up too late, Raven! I need him well rested."

"For what?" I asked. I was seriously confused. Jacob was walking backwards in front of us and he stopped. "It's just the bad vamps are gone, right? Why are you running so many patrols?" I clarified.

Jacob smirked at me. "Constant vigilance!" He yelled at me pointing his finger at me.

"You read them?" I cried. "How many of them so far?"

Jacob looked a little sheepish and his smirk turned into a guilty smile. Seth is the one who answered. "Nessie is reading them to him and they just finished four." I snorted before I could help myself.

"Your two-year-old imprint is reading Harry Potter to you?" I doubled over with laughter. "I'm writing that down in the chronicles. That's one for the history books!" Before I knew what was happening, my feet left the ground and I was flung over Jacob's shoulder, my long hair hanging almost down to his knees. He was spinning me around in circles and I was really glad I hadn't eaten dinner yet.

I was smacking his butt and screaming for him to put me down when both of us heard a growl. When we both looked over, Seth's whole body was shaking and he looked like he was about to phase. I had never seen him like that before. Jacob placed me back on my feet looking around from the threat that was causing Seth to be so angry.

"What is it, Seth?" Jacob asked, anxious. I couldn't take my eyes off of Seth. He wasn't shaking anymore and his angry face softened into a contrite smile at me.

"Nothing." He finally aswered. "I didn't like the sound of Raven screaming." He flashed Jacob a look which seemed to say a little more than his words, but I didn't understand what would have caused him to lose control like that and almost phase.

"I'm sorry." Jacob mumbled. He looked back at me. "Remember, he needs to be well rested for Monday morning."

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**Next Chapter:**

I didn't know what came over me. Jacob already had Nessie and I know how he feels about her. Was he upset that I let her scratch behind my ears earlier? Why am I so upset about him picking up my girl? Was Raven my girl? I know I haven't imprinted. I feel a strong connection to Raven, but it isn't like what I've seen in the minds of Jacob, Quil, and Sam.

"Come on." Raven smiled and tugged on my hand. She was leading me to her car. I draped my arm around her shoulders again and we headed towards movie night.


	2. Chapter 2--Doctor Who and Pizza

**A/N: I have some plans for this story now and I am very excited. But I have no follows and only one review and that is very discouraging. Send me some love people! Send me some love!**

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I didn't know what came over me. Jacob already had Nessie and I know how he feels about her. Was he trying to make me jealous because he was upset that I let her scratch behind my ears earlier? Why am I so upset about him picking up my girl? Was Raven my girl? I know I haven't imprinted. I feel a strong connection to Raven, but it isn't like what I've seen in the minds of Jacob, Quil, and Sam.

"Come on." Raven smiled and tugged on my hand. She was leading me to her car. I draped my arm around her shoulders again and we headed towards movie night.

Raven chatted all the way to her house which was on the nicer side of the reservation. It was a small two bedroom deal, but a lot more modern than the places where my friends and I lived. Her mom did PR work for the Bureau of Indian Affairs and she had to travel quite a bit for work. I liked it now that Raven was allowed to stay at her house alone when her mom was away instead of having to stay with relatives or travel with her. I missed her so much when she was gone and the people she stayed with didn't always understand our relationship.

When we got to her house I headed into the small family room which was nicely decorated for being on the res, but what I liked most was the huge flat screen television on the wall. I sat on the couch and listened to Raven explain the show we were going to watch and why she chose it.

"So that's a phone booth?" I asked her for the third time. I understood her the first time, but I loved to watch her get impatient and explain things. I loved the way she absentmindedly bites the tip of her pinky nail. It drives her crazy when it breaks and she has to wait for it to grow out again.

"No. It's a police box. Phone booths in Britain are red." Raven explained in her trying-to-be-patient voice. She was sitting on the couch Indian style and my head was in her lap. I loved it when she plays with my hair. I cut it short when I started to phase and since then she'd scratch my scalp with just enough pressure for it to feel really good. When her finger drags agains my ear...it just about drives me insane!

"So what do they use a police box for, then?" I asked to keep her explaining.

"They use it to phone the police." She answered, still being patient. I also loved it when she flips in to British terminology whenever we watch the BBC. She had an obsession with that place and our evening adventures into Doctor Who was her attempt to help me create one as well.

"So it's a phone booth?" I asked again smirking up at her. She looked down at me, finally realizing I was doing it on purpose and smacked my chest. "Ow!" I feigned.

"That didn't hurt." She stated. "And if it did, you're a wiener."

I sat up and flipped around so fast that she gasped and I started tickling her mercilessly. It always came to this…to the tickling. It was the only way I could think of to have this much contact with her without ending up hurting her emotionally in the end. She laughed and giggled and kicked and screamed and I loved that she put up such a good fight. Most girls just played weak, but my Raven was not afraid to show her strength in any way. And I loved her for it.

"Stop!" She screamed. "If you make me pee, I'm going to be so mad at you!" Okay, she wasn't afraid to show her weakness, either. I'd made her do it before. I managed to flip her around, because I was stronger than her being a wolf and all, and I was sitting on top her pinning her to the couch. I pinned her arms above her head knowing that her most ticklish spot was under her arms which were completely exposed now. She squirmed trying to buck me off of her.

"Who's the wiener, now?" I whispered threateningly just inches from her face. Her face turned serious with a little bit of fear in her eyes. I was certainly a little scared. I could also see excitement and desire. I wanted to kiss her so badly but I couldn't bring myself to do it. First of all, I didn't know what the heck I was doing and that was my biggest fear. But I knew that Raven wouldn't think less of me no matter how bad of a kisser I was. I also knew that she had never kissed anyone and we could blunder through it together.

Her eyes smoldered and I knew somewhere in the tiny corners of my mind and heart that Raven wanted this as much as I did and that's what stopped me. I made the big mistake of letting Leah into my head and her warnings played through my mind on a continuous loop.

"You better not lead her on, Seth!" Leah would whine at me while we were running patrol. "I can see how you feel about her. Don't suck her in only to break her heart when you imprint on someone else." Then she'd show me streams of memories of Sam and Emily laced with pain and anger. But Leah's whole existence had been about pain and anger even before Sam imprinted. I couldn't see much of a difference in the pre-heartbroken Leah and the heartbroken Leah.

Raven licked her lips and wriggled under me again trying to free herself from my grasp. I ended this situation like I always did with a raspberry. But this time instead of vibrating my lips on her cheek, I lowered to her neck. God, she smelled good. I hadn't done that to her neck before and I couldn't help lingering to inhale her scent and my lips involuntarily nipped her neck before I pulled back. I thought I heard her gasp and her wriggling began again in earnest.

"Had enough?" I asked her. When I sat up again her eyes were closed tight and her chest was heaving. I released her hands and her eyes flew open. She sat up and started pounding on my chest with her fists. I really did marvel at how strong she was. She wasn't hurting me, but I could definitely feel her blows.

"Get off me." She mumbled irritably. She looked hurt and my heart sank as I moved back to the other side of the couch. "We're missing the show." We both looked back at the TV where it looked like the earth was about to implode and robot spiders were attacking people in space. The doorbell rang and I got up to pay the pizza delivery man.

When I got back into the Raven's living room, she had spread paper plates and napkins on the coffee table. She had a 2-liter bottle of Coke just for me which she let me drink right out of the bottle. She finally gave up trying to get me to drink out of a cup when she switched to diet drinks and she couldn't get mad at me for backwashing. She sat on the floor with her legs crossed under the coffee table as far to the edge as she could.

I'm not sure how I upset her but I know it is hard for her to stay mad at me. I sat next to her, shoving my feet under the coffee table and scooted as close to her as I could get. "I got you bacon and onion." I said elbowing softly in the side. She smiled to herself and bit on her pinky nail to hide it from me.

"I forgot the forks." She squeaked and quickly got up and left me sitting there.

"What do we need forks for?" I called after her. "I'm just going eat it with my fingers!" I heard something fall off the counter and then she cursed under her breath. She was still frustrated. Did I do that to her? Did she notice that I nipped at her neck? I wanted to do so much more…I was going to pay on Monday if I let myself remember this when Leah is around. Was she angry with me? It sounded like she threw something else in the kitchen followed by some more unintelligible grunting and cursing. "Do you need some help in there?" I asked cautiously.

"Nope." Her voice was chipper again as she reentered the room and she had a smile plastered on her face. And that was the only way to describe it…it was plastered on there because it didn't extend to her eyes. Her beautiful white teeth shown through her russet skin and her cheeks had a lovely pinkish hue. Her long mahogany hair hung down to her waist and she had a lovely way of unconsciously gathering it together before she sat down so she wouldn't sit on it. She gathered up two pieces of her bacon and onion pizza onto a plate and sat on the couch almost four feet away from me.

"We missed some important stuff." Raven said and backed the DVD up to the place before our tickle fight began. "I really want you to like Doctor Who." Her voice sounded normal, but her breathing was still a little heavy. What had she done while she was in the kitchen?

I watched her chewing away at her bacon and onion pizza, a combination I would never understand though I would finish it off for her. I wanted to like Doctor Who because she liked Doctor Who and it meant we would spend more time watching it together if she thought I liked it. "I do like it." I said not taking my eyes off of her.

"Then you should watch it." She said looking over at me and another brilliant smile lit up her face and this time it reached her eyes. She was done being upset. It amazed me that she spent all her time with me and no one else. I know she's been noticed by other boys on the res, but she never seems interested in them. I think she's waiting for me to make a move…I just don't know if I should. What if I do? And we fall in love? And we have this great love story? And then I imprint on someone else? What if I turn this wonderful, smart, beautiful, caring, funny, and optimistic woman into a bitter old harpy like my sister? I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't be responsible for that. I saw how it ate at Sam.

"Seth!" She exclaimed pulling me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked shaking my head and a little embarrassed that I was still staring at her.

"You're missing stuff." She said, pointing to the television.

_I sure am._ I said to myself taking a bite of a slice of pizza piled high with five different meats. I turned my head back to watch the television, aching at the distance between us. _I sure am._

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**A/N:** **So I really need some feedback because I use fan fiction as a means to improve my writing because I want to write my own novel eventually with my own characters. I'm experimenting with a few things here. **

**First, I'm creating my own new character: Raven. If you have suggestions please let me know even though this chapter was written from Seth's POV. **

**That leads me to 2 & 3. My other story was in 3****rd**** person omniscient and I switched thoughts and feelings whenever I felt like it. This story I want to do first person, but I'm messing up on tenses and I could use your suggestions. Point three is write a boy's (or man's) point of view. I'm a woman and need to know if what I am doing is realistic. Just curious. **

**Please let me hear from you. Please. I'm might throw some lemon drops at you next chapter if I get SOME reviews. J**


	3. Chapter 3--Running Dialogue

**A/N: Fine. I don't need affirmation to continue my writing. I began this chapter before work and edited it in my free moments at work. I'm writing to write which is a better reason than to get a certain number of views. Thanks to the two who have reviewed. Sure wish more of you would leave your comments, though. J This chapter I am playing with inner dialogue. Tell me what you think if you have thoughts.**

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I hate running. I hate running. I HATE RUNNING! I need to think of something else or I'm never going to make it through this run. Running on the beach was pretty ingenious, though. No matter how far I run I have to run that far back. You're too smart for your own good because you never turn around until you're dead exhausted and then the only fast way back is to run. I'm turning around. No, Raven, run another quarter mile then turn around, you can do this. I hate running. Think about something else, fat ass.

What was up with Seth last night? He kissed your neck. I know I didn't imagine that. Did I? Is it possible to want something so much that someone could imagine a scenario to be so real? Why won't he kiss me? Run off this last twenty pounds and maybe he will. That's stupid, if he doesn't like you like this then you shouldn't want him. You know Seth isn't like that anyway. I remembered the way he looked at me right before that zerbert. He was going to kiss me…he was. Wasn't he? GAH!

"Raven." He called after we were finished eating, he had moved back up to the couch. I purposely sat as far away from him as possible. After he kissed my neck I couldn't think straight. I need some distance to clear my head.

"What." I answered keeping my eyes glued to the television. A space ship had just crashed into London. I wondered how much money it was going to cost to rebuild after that.

"Why are you way over there?" Seth asked me. My stomach turned over and all the butterflies I had tried to kill by throwing things around the kitchen after he kissed my neck resurrected themselves and were trying to escape through my throat. _Because I'm trying to stay away from you, you idiot._ That's what I wanted to say.

"Because I was trying to avoid flying bits of food while you wolfed down your food, you pig." That's what I said out loud. He smirked at me. "And you finished off my pizza so I have nothing for breakfast tomorrow, so I'm mad at you." And I can't be held responsible for attacking you if you ever kiss my neck again. That would be his fault, wouldn't it?

"You don't like cold pizza and I'm done eating." He did know me well. Damn. I hated that because it made me love him more. "So, get over here." He finished.

"No." I bit my pinky nail. If he can't see my lips, he can't tell I'm smiling.

"Why?" He asked, still looking at me.

"You're missing the show." I replied. Why? Because all that's going to do is get me all riled up and then you're going to go home and leave me in an unfulfilled, confused, horny fog. You really are an idiot! I did love getting riled up though. I liked the butterflies. I liked cuddling on the couch with him. Even if he never kissed me, I knew that he didn't do this with anyone else…and he could.

"I won't miss anymore if you just get over here." I hated him. I hated the way he made me feel. No, I loved the way he made me feel. I hated that he didn't reciprocate. I should take what I could get, shouldn't I? I'm not getting any younger and I don't want anyone else.

"I'm fine right here." I replied. I wasn't fine right here. I wanted him to coax me again. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted him to kiss my neck again.

"I am stronger than you, you know." Seth said, his eyebrows raised.

"What? Are you going to _make _me come over there?" I taunted, silently begging him to do it.

"Is that an invitation?" He asked subtly preparing to launch. Why did we always end up wrestling? I guess it was a good release of the frustration I felt. If I couldn't make out with him at least I could wrestle with him. Either way I get to feel his body against mine.

"No. But remember I'm almost as big as you and I'm meaner than you." I taunted again. I hated that I felt like I was bigger than him. But that did it. He launched, grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him while flipping me on my back and pushing his weight on me to pin me down. Okay, maybe he was bigger than me. I knew he was stronger than me.

"Don't you dare zerbert me again! I don't need your spittle all over my body." Yes I do. And I want his lips on my neck again. I loved the smirk that crossed his face. I loved his brown eyes that close to mine and I loved that I could feel his slow steady breath. Why wasn't he affected by me like I was affected by him? My chest was heaving and I was sure he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

"I'll do what I like." He said playfully. "And I like cuddling with you." He rolled to the back of the couch while flipping me on my side, effectively spooning me. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I felt safe and warm despite the war the butterflies were having in my stomach. We didn't even make it through the first disk of the DVD series. It wasn't long after that I felt his slow, steady breathing behind me signaling that he had fallen asleep. I just let him sleep; we could rewatch the episode he missed.

When I moved to grab the remote to turn the television off he stirred holding me tight to him. "I'm not going anywhere, I just need the remote." I whispered. His grip loosened and I sat up to turn off all the electronics. The side I was laying on hurt so I turned to face him and snuggled back in using his arm for a pillow. His other arm snaked around my waist and there we slept until I got up for my run.

My internal alarm clock was infallible. I never had to set an alarm and when I woke up I really didn't want to leave my little bubble. Who needed snogging and sex when I had this kind of safety and comfort? But, if it ever did lead to sex, I wanted to be able to be naked without being mortified. So, I got up to go for my run.

I hadn't told anyone that I was trying to lose weight. I just began slowly by switching to diet soda and walking from the back of the parking lot. After watching the pack run one day and having so much fun, I decided to give it a try. I still don't understand why it's so fun, but I love how I feel when I'm done. Some days the only thing that gets me out in the morning, especially the rainy days, is the thought of the endorphin rush. Then after a run, I don't want to undo what I did, so I eat better food. It's been a pretty easy process…if I can get out the door to run.

When I emerged from my thoughts I realized that I made it to the part of the beach where I allowed myself to walk and cool down. Running the previous evening's cuddle session in my head over and over again helped me forget the physical torture I was putting myself through. Replaying the feel of Seth's breath on my ear and neck…

"RAVEN!" Jake's voice called across the beach. I swear I see Jacob more at the beach than I do at his house and I'd been so lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice him. He closed the distance between us. "You're out early."

"Yeah. So are you, what's up with you." My breathing was slowly returning to normal and I was completely soaked through. It wasn't raining, but it was misty and chilly, though I didn't feel the chill right now. "Why are you out so early? I thought you'd be at the Cullen's."

"Nessie sleeps and I come back here while she's asleep." He looked out towards the water. "It gives Rose a chance to be with her alone. I don't mind it so much when she's asleep." He turns back to me and smiles. "You left Seth?"

"Same feeling." I smiled back at him. "He's dead asleep on the couch." There was an awkward silence as they walked towards where she left her shoes. Jacob noticed her bare feet.

"You run without shoes?" Jacob asked.

"You do too." I pointed out. I knew why the pack ran without shoes so I clarified. "When I run on the beach, it's just easier than dumping all the sand out later."

"What made you start running?" Jacob asked sounding interested and concerned at the same time.

"Oh." I sighed. "I want to get a little more fit and you guys make it look like fun." I paused. "It's not as fun as you make it look," I admitted, "but I like the way I feel afterwards." Jacob considered me for a moment.

"He doesn't care if your fit or not." Jacob said, knowingly.

"I'm not…" I was shocked. What was he saying? That I was doing this for Seth? "I don't…" I didn't know what to say.

"Look, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I hope that this running thing and all this weight your losing is for you and not for Seth." Jacob said. "Because honestly, the boy is pretty stupid when it comes to that sort of thing and wouldn't notice either way." I had to consider that. Why was I doing this?

Jake noticed I had lost weight. I'd lost about thirty pounds and no one had said anything to me at all. I still wore my baggy clothes so I didn't really expect people to notice too much. But I was wearing spandex leggings and a fitted running jacket I bought just last week. There really was a noticeable difference today. "You noticed." Was all I said.

"Yes." He nodded. "You can tell in your face." He paused. "He really does like you, you know." I looked up at him a little surprised.

"I know he loves me." I responded, because I did. "I just don't know _how_ he loves me." I vented all the frustration I felt from the night before. I just spilled it all to Jacob and I have no idea why. I did feel better afterwards, though.

"Wow." He said. "You have it bad and I know exactly how you feel." His look was sympathetic.

I nodded because I knew he did. "Was it worth it?" I asked him. He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. "All the crap you went through with Bella, was it worth it in the end?"

He thought about that for a moment and I could tell he was really weighing the pros and cons. I didn't know if that was a good sign or not. "Yes." He finally answered. "As frustrating as it was the good times outweighed the bad times. Even after she was married and before Nessie, which wasn't that long, it was worth it just to be around her."

"Look." We had reached my shoes and we stopped. "I know he hasn't imprinted, but he thinks of you as his. That growl yesterday when I picked you up was an instinctual reaction. I can't tell you what's holding him back, but don't get too frustrated with him." Too late, I thought.

"You can't tell me or you won't tell me." I asked. There was quite a difference in my mind.

"Same thing in this case. I've seen his thoughts here and it wouldn't be fair if I just told you. I will tell you, however, what I've seen that everyone else would be able to see. That growl yesterday was possessive and you are the only person he ever goes to see outside his family during his free time. Take from that what you should." Jacob urged.

"Are you going try really hard to not think about this conversation when you phase?" I asked just a little scared. "Please."

"Talk to him before Monday and it won't be an issue." He grinned. At least that gave me some incentive. "But I'm getting really good at that by hanging around Edward so much." He finished.

"I bet you are." I smiled. "What are you going to do when Nessie gets all hot and stuff?" I joked. "He may kill you." I hoped I didn't just reveal the kinds of things I think about by making that statement.

"Ew! I don't think about that yet. She's still only about 9 or 10…physically." To his credit he shuddered. "Mentally, she's passed me." He smirked.

"She is reading Harry Potter to you, which shows she has taste and I like her already." I stated. I sat down to slip my shoes on. I was still pretty warm, but my feet were freezing.

"I should take you out there sometime. You'd like the Doc's library and he'd love someone to read those books." Jake suggested.

"I'd really like that." I said. "Just let me know when." I had been interested to meet Nessie, too. "Well, I should head back. I want to surprise Seth with breakfast."

"Make a lot." Jake said. "And he likes cinnamon rolls."

"I made them yesterday. I just have to heat them up and put the icing on them." I smiled. Then I wondered how he knew that cinnamon rolls are his favorite and I felt a little bit of the possessiveness that Jake was talking about. He waved and I headed towards my car. I wanted to get home, showered, and changed before Seth got up.

When I pulled in to my drive way Leah was coming out of my front door and that scared me. Leah never came to my house, they needed him they'd just howl and he'd phase. I hopped out of my car and called out, "Leah! What's wrong? Is someone hurt?" A funny look crossed her face that I couldn't decipher.

"My brother's an idiot and you shouldn't even…" She started by was interrupted by Seth's booming voice.

"Leah! Get the hell out of here!" His face was fierce and his whole framed quaked. I had never seen Seth yell at his sister before. He'd get aggravated with her, but he never yelled at her.

"Good luck." She muttered and headed towards the woods.

I looked towards Seth who seemed to be seeing me for the first time. "What happened? Is everyone okay?"

Seth smiled at me, shook his head at me while closing the distance between us. Without hesitating his arms wrapped around me and he pulled me into a deep kiss.

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**A/N: Next chapter is back to Seth's POV. Anyone wonder what Leah said that made him FINALLY kiss Raven after years and years? Stay tuned and give me some love.**


	4. Chapter 4--The Tide is High

**A/N: Nikkie, stay tuned for Chapter 5. Hang with me through this one that will make Leah look, like the bitter harpy that Seth saw her as in his last chapter. But I love the prodigal stories. Hang in there with me.**

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I was awake when Raven began to stir. I was a heavy sleeper, but my heightened senses allowed me wake quickly and easily. After she turned the television off and cuddled back into me I was in heaven. I lay there thinking about my life without her in it, and it too painful to think about very long. I knew that what I was feeling was not one-sided and we were going to have to address it soon before something got ugly.

I kissed the top of her head and, drunk on her scent and content to have her wrapped in my arms, I drifted back to sleep. When she stirred early in the morning I could tell she was ready to get up. I let her go and pretended to be asleep. She came back into the living room wearing running clothes and sat in the arm chair to slip on a pair of crocs. That piqued my interest. Why was she wearing crocs with running clothes? I heard her grab her car keys and leave through the front door. I had to follow her.

The road she lived on ran through the woods until it hit the main part of La Push. There was really only one place I could think of that she would go, so I took off through the woods towards the beach. Since she always parked in the same spot I knew which direction to run. When I phased I heard Jacob and Leah running patrol. Jake was about to go into the Cullen's house to see Nessie and Leah was going to stay on patrol and run laps for a while. I could see that she was craving a famous Esmee omelet and she wanted Jacob to ask for one. Leah would then wander in to ask Jake something and either be offered on or eat the rest of Jake's.

"No, Leah." Jacob thought. "If you want one, you go ask her. You know she'd be delighted to hear you ask for something."

"I know, dummy! That's exactly why I can't." Leah gruffed.

"You can't do something you know will make someone happy?" Jacob asked her. "Why do you have to be that way?"

"I can't do something I know will make a VAMPIRE happy. I'm that way because I'm a WEREWOLF!" She mentally screamed.

"We're shape shifters and you are not genetically programmed to keep them from being happy. You are genetically programmed to protect the tribe from possible treats from human killing vampires and these don't fit that description." Jacob returned.

"Look, I'm talking civilly to the reeking bloodsuckers. AND, I'm considering eating their food despite the stench. I can only change so fast!" It was amazing how my sister's thoughts raised in pitch much like her voice. They noticed I was there when I considered that.

"Seth?" Jacob thought. "What are you doing? Did you piss Raven off?"

"No." I answered. "I'm following her. She left early in running clothes and crocs. Doesn't that seem weird to you?" I felt Jacob see my location through my eyes.

"Yeah." I could see his memories of Raven on the beach a few weeks ago. "She's been running for a while. I think she's up to almost four miles. I saw her two days ago, too. She's lost quite a bit of weight, too." I hadn't thought about that before. I could see as Jacob's mind flitted across the memories of Raven running on the beach at different times how much her body has changed and how much farther she was able to go. I suddenly got jealous that Jacob knew this about my Raven and I hadn't even noticed.

Jacob's patrol loop ran by the beach so it was understandable that he would see her if she ran at the same time every day. And, she would run before school so it would be at the time he was there. I repressed my possessive feelings and wondered if he would switch loops with me. He mentally chuckled at me. "Sure, Seth."

"Seth, what are you doing?" Leah asked in a tired mental whine. "You've fallen for her haven't you?" My mind involuntarily ran over my memories of last night. I hated that not only could I not hold back the memories, but the feelings that went along with them poured out as well. I could feel Jacob's sympathy both at my longing for Raven as well as my longing to keep my thoughts and feelings private. He got it from both us and his imprint's father.

"Damn it, Seth!" I could feel Leah's anger and so could Jacob.

"Leah, phase!" He commanded. She started to protest and then he said it in his alpha voice, which he rarely ever used, and she had to comply. "Seth, go back to Raven's house." I didn't wait for him to use his alpha voice; I just turned around and headed back. I felt Jacob leave my thoughts for a few minutes. Maybe he was balling Leah out for being such a bitter bitch. I hated to think of my sister that way, but facts are facts. I felt Jacob reenter my thoughts.

"Seth, I'm so sorry. But you're going to have to make a decision soon." My mind rankled as the pain from my thoughts about my life without Raven resurfaced. "I'm not saying this as an alpha, man. I'm saying this as a friend. It's best to just get it out there and either enjoy it, or pick up the pieces and go on. Either way, the uncertainty is gone and that's what's driving all of us crazy!"

"But what if…" I started the thought, but the feelings and images of Leah, Sam, and Emily flooded both of our minds.

"You have to decide if a little time is worth the pain…IF that ever happens. Imprinting is a rare thing and it's already happened four times with our pack. What are your chances?"

"They get smaller and smaller." I answered. And he mentally agreed. I was almost back at Raven's house and Jake suggested that I phase and clean up. "Thanks, Jake."

I took a quick shower and when I emerged from the bathroom Leah was sitting in the armchair next to the couch. "There's your little cuddle station, huh?" Her tone was nasty and bitter. But, it brought back a surge of longing and desire that I felt the night before. It fanned the flame of my anger towards her.

"What the hell is your problem?" I yelled at her. "I'm tired of you trying to ruin the happiness of everyone around you because you're so angry and bitter with the world. Jake's right, you just can't do anything that will make someone else happy. You like Raven. Everyone likes Raven! So why are you so hell bent on keeping us apart?" My voice cracked on the last word. My face flushed with both anger and embarrassment.

"You're right, I do like Raven! And that is EXACTLY why I want to keep you apart. She doesn't need to fall in love with you only for you to imprint on someone else. You know that is my problem, why do you keep asking me?" She yelled back. "You're an idiot if you believe that any happiness is worth that kind of pain."

"I think she's already in love with me, Leah and I'm pretty damn sure I'm in love with her. All this is doing is tearing us both apart. Jacob's already told me that I'm driving everyone else crazy with my indecision, so why don't I just do something to put us all out of our misery?" I asked. "You're the only one who telling me to save her the trouble. I'm causing more trouble for her by being around her and doing nothing and it'd kill me to leave her alone." My voice dropped on the last part. "And I'm not pulling an Edward."

Leah's grin was so wide it was scary. She turned on her heel and headed towards the door. She pulled it open, turned back to me and said in a deadly whisper, "You don't have the balls to go through with anything anyway."

I chased after her and heard her talking to Raven in the driveway. "My brother's an idiot and you shouldn't even…"

"Leah," I yelled, "Get the hell out of here!" I couldn't believe she was going to tell Raven the same thing! Then I looked at Raven and saw how beautiful she was with her long hair pulled back into a thick braid and in clothes that actually showed she was a girl. I knew how beautiful she was and I tried to tell her often, but I never really noticed when she became a woman. She was a woman and I was a man. I'd show Leah I had balls!

My beautiful Raven looked worried and she was talking to me, "What happened? Is everyone okay?" No. Everyone is not okay. My sister is bat-shit crazy and I'm not going to listen to her any more. I smiled at my beautiful girl and went to let her know that she was mine.

She looked surprised when I pulled her in and her mind took some time to register that I had placed my lips on hers. But, it wasn't long before I could feel her hands glide up my arms and clasp behind my neck. Her lips moved against mine in sweet, sensuous patterns and they tasted a little salty. I liked that. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip to take in more of her flavor and her mouth opened with a moan which allowed my tongue to plunge in deeper to tangle with hers. I didn't know how she felt about this kiss, but I was impressed.

I'm not sure how long we stood on her front walkway kissing because I decided that once I had tasted her lips that I had to taste her neck, too. I ran my lips down her neck and nipped at it is like I did last night and she gasped the same way. I smiled to myself as I tucked that piece of information away for later use. I moved between her lips and neck several times.

"Seth." Her whisper was harsh and her breathing was ragged and her hands had moved to tangle in my hair.

"Yeah?" I asked still nipping and sucking at her neck.

"Let's go inside." She pushed me a little bit towards the door still clinging to me and moving her head to one side to give me better access to her neck.

"Okay." I breathed into her ear. I looked down into her excited eyes and pulled her to the front door.

Leah didn't know it, but her taunt had the opposite effect. All her little talk did was convince me of what I knew I already wanted to do. And to my delight, it seemed that Raven wanted it too.

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**A/N: I think it's almost done. Though I might write some sequals using Raven. I have some ideas.**


	5. Chapter 5--Surfing

**A/N: Here's a fun little ditty. I can't decide if I should do just one more chapter in this story and then begin a different story for the other ideas I had or continue this one. Any thoughts? Would you rather see a long story with 30-something chapters or a couple of 5-10 chapter stories with reappearing characters? Let me know.**

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He was kissing me. This was nothing like what I imagined. At all. When he ran his tongue over my bottom lip…I almost passed out. Where did he learn to do that to someone's neck? I had to get somewhere where I could sit down because if he got any closer to my ear, I would collapse. I think I said something to that fact because he began pulling me towards the door. That's good. I didn't need the neighbors telling my mom I was making out in front of the house.

Seth pulled me to the couch and I pulled off my wet running jacket. I knew that Seth's abnormal body heat would keep the chill away.

We lay like we did while we slept last night and his kisses were short and sweet, but continuous.

"So. Many. Questions." I said, each word coming between a kiss. He smiled and his hand ran up my back. I shuddered at the contact. He ran his nose along my nose and kissed me one more time.

"Can I kiss you while you ask them?" His lips traced across my cheek towards my ear. Yeah, I was glad I was lying down.

"Uh huh." I didn't ask any questions for a while. There was no mental preparation for this. It just felt so…so…I didn't even have words for how it felt. He was so good at it. That was my first question. "Where did you learn to do this?"

"I am making this up as I go along." Seth's lips were right under my chin and he didn't pull away when he answered. I was going to consider him an artist.

"So," I began, "What happened?" I finally asked. The answer was slow in coming, but it was another question. I decided that his mouth was too busy and I'd free it up. I let my lips explore his jaw and neck.

"What happened with what?" He breathed out. His neck was as sensitive as mine. Good. It was my turn to make him pant like a dog.

"What made you finally kiss me? Why did you make me wait so long? What happened with Leah? Who else have you kissed?" For some reason I had just discovered that my hands could move and he was shirtless. They found the carved planes of this abdominals and slid back to the taut muscles of his back. I could feel them flex and move as his arms searched my sides and touched my face. His skin was hot to the touch, and that wasn't new to me. What was new was the heat it transferred that shot to my belly and pooled very low. Some force within me moved my leg up and hitched it near his hip and his hand slid down my back and rested on my bum. That spread the fire even lower. It seemed my body was on autopilot.

"That's a lot of questions." He panted as he rolled into me pressing me deeper into the couch. "And I haven't kissed anyone before." He pulled back. "Why? Who have you kissed?" There was a mix of fear and anger in his eyes.

"No one. I just think you're really good at it." I blushed. "But I've no comparison, and I really don't mind." His eyes softened again.

He smiled at me and ran his nose along mine again. "You're not bad yourself. I guess we're both very talented." He rested his forehead against mine while we both tried to get our breathing under control. I raised my hand to his smooth cheek. His jaw was much more chiseled than I had previously noticed and the roundness of his cheeks was gone. "What happened with Leah?" I whispered. "You love your sister and I don't want you to be upset with her."

Seth pulled me in to a bear hug as if telling me would make me slip away. "She didn't want me to do this. I've been thinking about this for a long time and Leah told me that I shouldn't lead you on because there is a chance I could imprint on someone else later and break your heart."

His grip on me tightened. I let me hold me tight for a moment because I could feel his fear and it made so many things make sense. All the tickle fights, zerberts, lingering looks, cuddling, phone calls, awkward silences…they all made sense now. And it was as if this clarity brought a confidence boost as well. Knowing he struggled this much over me and how it may hurt me gave me a new sense of power in myself. "So what made you change your mind?" I asked into his neck. He loosened his hold so that he could look into my eyes.

"I was going to talk to you about it before I made a move like this, to see how you felt. I mean," He was blushing a little. "I was pretty sure you felt the same way about me, but I didn't want you to be hurt…and…"he was searching for the right words, so I kissed his jaw line to encourage him. "I didn't want you to go through what I see and feel Leah go through. But then she taunted me and I decided that you could never be that mean and bitter. You're just a better person than that."

"Stop." I said. I couldn't let him make that comparison. "You can't compare me to your sister like that. If you do, she'll end up resenting me and you'll have to choose. Then you'll end up resenting me because I came between you and your family and your pack. Don't put me in that position." He gazed at me with what looked like wonder.

"God, I love you." He pulled me into another hug. "You're right and I'm sorry." I was stunned. Did he just profess his love for me? Is this the friendship love that I was already aware of, or was this him being IN love with me? He must have sensed my quandary because he released me again to look at me. "What's wrong?" His face alarmed. "Did I say that too soon?"

"No." I whispered with a shy smile. "I just don't know how you mean that and it will drive me crazy if I don't know, but I don't want to know if it's not the same way I love you." My voice was small, but I didn't take my eyes from his.

"I'm lying on top of you, contemplating doing all sorts of nasty things to you that would make your mother want to shoot me." That made me blush. "I love you, Raven." He kissed me very softly. "I love you like the friend I've had for as long as I can remember." He kissed me again a little harder. "I love you for forgiving me for abandoning you for so long after I phased." He deepened the kiss again. "I love you for the woman you have become." His tongue brushed mine. "And I love this position I have you in right now." There was very little talking for a while and then he seemed to remember something. "Is this okay?" He asked.

"Do I seem like I mind?" I asked smirking at him and running my hand down his bare back again.

"But if I imprint…" he pointed out again.

"I've thought of that a lot, believe it or not." I placed my hand on his cheek and ran my thumb over his lips. "I'd rather have time with you like this than spend the rest of my life wondering "what if". What if you never imprint and we'd never done this. What a waste that would be! I love you, too and have for a while. Imprinting is not a slight on me. And while it will be painful to see you with someone else, it's not like you will have a choice in the matter. I think I can take that." I kissed him lightly. "It'd hurt more if I never had this, I think…especially if you never imprint."

He moved us so that he was spooning me like we did last night except his lips were on my ear and they brushed the shell when he talked. We spent another hour just chatting. He told me about following me on my run and went more in depth about his fight with Leah. We took a short nap, and just generally enjoyed our new closeness. When my side hurt I turned around in his arms and kissed his chin again. "I need to go take a shower and you need to go fix things with your sister." I urged.

"You're right. You stink." He smiled and I gave him a purple-nurple. He yelped and flipped me over so he was sitting on top of me again and we were back in the same situation as last night. But today the possibilities were…well different. "Do I get to do that to you?" His hand hovered over my chest.

"Not if you want to keep the testicles that you just proved to your sister you had." I warned.

"Really?" He asked. "You think you could take me?" I could tell his hands were poised to tickle me.

A thought occurred to me then. I could never beat him in a physical match and he was sitting on top of me, but he hadn't pinned my arms. I made sure he was looking at my face and I licked my lips while running my hands up his thighs. His muscles tightened and his breath hitched. "Seth." I purred. His eyes widened and slow smile split his lips. I raised up a little and ran my hand across his bum and squeezed just a little while my lips kissed his neck. "Do you really want to wrestle about this?" I whispered into his neck and he moaned while shaking his head.

I had him. I leaned back to lie back down slowly and he followed me down. Right before he could kiss me again I flipped him over onto the floor and then rolled over and sat on top of him, reversing our position. I moved quickly to put my knees and most of my body weight on his upper arms to pin him down. "I don't think I can take you." I whispered. "But I have a new and fun way to distract you." Then I stood up and headed towards the bathroom. "Go fix things with Leah and then I want to go to a movie and make out with you."

I heard Seth growl in a playful way. "Get back here!" He called. I turned and he was standing by the front door. "I want to kiss my girlfriend goodbye." I couldn't argue with that. When I reached up to peck him he grabbed my face and planted a zerbert right on my cheek. He shifted my face to whisper in my ear, "Two can play at that game." Then he softly bit my earlobe a ran out the door.


	6. Chapter 6--Rolling Waves

**A/N: Some more Cullen's and Leah's explanation. I'm setting things up to continue of I see people interested. Can you pick up the bread crumbs I'm leaving? There are three to four.**

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I was on such a high when I left Raven's house that I ran half the way to the Cullen's without phasing. For some reason I didn't want to share these feelings yet and I needed to get some of my thoughts under control. I always felt sorry for the girls the less discreet pack members dated and did things with, because I knew things about them that I shouldn't. Those who imprinted had so much respect for their imprints that they worked really hard to not share their special and intimate moments. I may not have imprinted on Raven, but I was going to treat her as if I did. That respect would allow the depth of my feelings towards her through, though. I wanted both Leah and Jacob to see that.

When I phased I didn't hear Leah or Jacob. "Hey Embry." I thought.

"Hey, man! I thought you had a few days off." Embry was running the perimeter loop.

"Yeah, I do. I pissed Leah off and I need to go apologize." I worked really hard not to show him how or why, only the emotion. "Do you know where she is?"

Embry mentally snorted. "It's not hard to do that. She's eating breakfast at the Cullen's! She's such a hypocrite! How do you stand her?" Embry asked and I could feel his mocking irritation.

"Well," I thought letting my own irritation with him show, "She my sister first of all. And secondly she's one of the smartest and fastest wolves in both packs who also won't put up with pretentious shit. So, I admire her candor because I always know what she's thinking whether she's phased or not." I was almost to the Cullen's house. "If she's eating breakfast with them it's because she's trying to be a better person and that can't happen if no one ever notices her efforts."

I felt the wave of shame cross through Embry and I was satisfied. "Sorry, man." He thought.

"It's okay. I know she can be hard to take, but criticize her actions that piss you off, not her efforts to be better." I let Embry see that Raven was the one who told me that in order to me convince to talk to Leah. I didn't want to take credit for such good advice. I really loved that girl.

"She's an amazing girl and I'm sorry. When are you going to let her know how you feel?" Embry asked. I phased right after I remembered kissing Raven on her front walkway. But, I had had a similar fantasy so I left him wondering if it was real or imagined.

I walked into the Cullen's house. There was no need to knock because Edward would hear me coming and the rest would smell me. I didn't like making them go through the charade of walking to the door to let me in.

"Seth!" Esme called out as I entered the dining room. "Can I get you some breakfast?" Jake, Leah, Renesmee, and Rosalie were seated around the table.

"No. Thank you, Esme." Jacob answered. "He's either just eaten and he's stuffed, or he's about to eat a huge meal that Raven has spent two days preparing for." That surprised me.

Esme smiled and excused herself.

"She's done what?" I asked looking between him and Leah.

"Don't look at me." Leah said. "I tried to stop the whole deal." But she was smiling happily. She didn't seem upset at all.

Nessie ran to me and gave me a big hug and planted a kiss on my cheek. She projected an image that showed Leah and Jacob high fiving each other after coming out of the woods and Jacob asking, "He did it? He finally kissed her?" Nessie's question was who had I kissed and why did her Jakey and Leah have to have a plan for me to do it.

"You planned that?" I asked looking up after Nessie's projection. I heard Edward chuckle from upstairs. Leah and Jake just grinned at me.

"Nessie," Rosalie called, "Don't tell all the dogs' secrets!" She smiled at the two of them. "Come on, Beautiful let's let them bark at each other alone."

"Bye, guys!" Nessie called. "It's not like we won't hear them anyway." She told Rosalie as they walked into the other room.

"I know, sweetie. But, it's just polite just to let people think we're not listening to every word and thought they have." Rosalie explained.

Seth turned to Jacob. "So what was this plan?"

It was Leah who spoke. "Well, I know that a few weeks ago I told you that you shouldn't date Raven because imprinting would be so hard on her if you did. You always listen to what I say and Jacob helped me see that Raven wasn't me." She got up and sat in the chair next to me. "Raven is such a wonderful person and I realized that if anyone on the res was going to catch the heart of my little brother it should be her because her heart is just a pure as yours." I saw a tear form in the corner of her eye.

"Sis. I never knew you cared so much." I smiled.

"Yes you did, you idiot." The tear never fell. "But, I had already made my opinion known and we all know how hard it is for me to take anything back, so I asked Jacob to help me push you forward." She smirked. "I'm actually really happy for you and Raven and you both deserve each other in the best possible ways."

She yelped when I grabbed in for a fierce hug and held her tightly. "Raven was right about you. And I'm sorry I called you a bitch."

Leah smacked the back of my head while still hugging me. "You didn't call me a bitch." She said.

"Not to your face I didn't. But I thought it and expressed that thought to her. She said that you loved me and just wanted what was best for me. She told me to come over here and make things right."

"I like her even more." Leah said. "I guess I should be friendly to her so she has someone to lean on if you imprint on someone else." I really didn't like talking about that and I said as much.

"Can we just not think about that right now? I want to go back and enjoy every minute I have with the girl I'd rather be with most when I'm not with you guys." I thought for a moment and smiled. "Or even when I am with you guys."

"You still want to change loops next week?" Jake asked.

"Heck yeah!" I said. "I want to run with her. Did you see her in those pants? She's freakin' hot!"

"I didn't notice." Jacob lied. He must have known I was setting him up. He's the one who showed me how much she had changed in the past few months.

Nessie came back into the room and walked over to my chair. She projected a picture of mother wolf she found in a dictionary into my mind and asked out loud, "Why did you apologize for calling Leah a bitch? She is a female dog. And that term can be applied to wolves." Her eyes were innocent and her question was sincere.

It was Jacob who explained the term and why I had used it and why it was not a very nice to say.

"I want to meet this girl who is as nice as you." Nessie said to me.

"I would be happy for you to meet Raven, Renesmee." I declared.

"She wants to meet you anyway." Jacob told her. "She's impressed that you're reading Harry Potter to me and has been trying to get me to read them for ages."

"She's trying to get me to love Doctor Who as much as she does." I told Jacob.

"Who's Doctor Who?" Jacob asked. Nessie rolled her eyes.

"Bring her over. My puppy needs some training and it sounds like Raven can help me do it. I love Doctor Who." Nessie finished.

"When you have time to watch that when I'm not here?" Jacob asked.

"The hours you spend running in circles around my house." Nessie shot back. She pulled on his hand to drag him from the room. "Come on, we need to start book 5." Jake followed him imprint to go read Harry Potter with Nessie.

I turned back to Leah. "Thanks, Sis. But you know that you can tell me anything without being embarrassed. You didn't have to plan this elaborate scheme."

"No I can't just do that without being embarrassed. It's a weakness I have and I know it. But I'm working on it. And, you needed to find the strength to kiss that girl the way she needed to be kissed. That needed a push, not just me backing off. I have always liked Raven, despite her mother. And I am very happy for you both." She hugged me again. "Now get back to her. She has breakfast planned for you. Cinnamon rolls I think." My mouth watered. I was starving.

"She's the one who made me come here to make things right with you. Even after I told her that you didn't want us to be together, she told me not to create a situation where I would have to choose. She knows how much I love you." I looked at my feet. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes, Seth, I do. I try to be like you and I hope that shows you how much I love you." She reached out for my hand. "You are good through and through and if I ever get to be a 1/10 of the person you are I will consider my life a success." I heard Esme sob from the kitchen.

"Thanks, Sis. I'm going to go back to my girl now. She wants to make out with me." I smiled.

"GROSS!" Leah yelled. The tender moment was gone and that was good. I loved all the different facets of my sister. "I don't need to know that about my little brother! You better control your thoughts next time you phase." Leah hit my chest as I stood up.

"Tell her to control her thoughts about Embry while she isn't phased." I heard Edward call from upstairs. A look of horror crossed Leah's face that morphed into anger. "You need a little push, too, Leah." He finished.

Leah pushed me against the wall by my throat and in a deadly whisper said, "You say or think a word of that to him I will neuter you."

"Geez, Sis. If you would have just played that off like Edward was an idiot, I would never have known that you have a crush on Embry. You've done a great job covering that up." I thought up to Edward, Thanks, man. I'll see what I can do to push Embry.

"Anytime, Seth. Good luck on your date today." Edward called.

"Seth!" I heard Nessie's reading stop as she called to me. "Can you bring Raven by tomorrow? I really want to meet her!"

"Sure, Nessie. But no more scratching behind my ears. That's her job, now." I responded. I heard her giggle and begin reading again.

I went out to the woods and phased again to return to my girl. I let Embry see that I was excited to go back for cinnamon rolls that Raven was supposedly making.

"So did you really kiss her?" Embry asked.

"Yes." I affirmed. "But that's all you're getting." I felt that he was okay with that. Embry loved information but he didn't push for it either.

"So, are things better with your sister?" He asked as I reached the boundary of the res.

"Yes. She was just…she was just looking out for me and there was a misunderstanding on my part. She really does have a great heart."

"I know." Embry agreed. "I just wish she'd let someone touch it." I could sense a little need there. I couldn't allow myself to think about anything and I was almost about to reach Raven's house.

"You should give it a try." I finally returned. "She's changing and letting people in might just be her next step."

"You think?" Embry asked. "You know her best, right? You wouldn't set me up would you?" Embry asked almost frantic.

"Do you know me?" I asked in the same stupid Italian accent Raven used yesterday and Embry understood the reference as I replayed the memory.

"Okay, okay." He said.

"Just be patient and remember that Leah is abrasive, but that's how she shows her affection." I reminded him.

"Yeah. I will." Embry ended with gust of unspoken gratitude.

I phased and redressed and I could smell cinnamon rolls from the walk way. How did she always know what I liked? Oh, I reminded myself, because she loves me. My Raven loves me.


	7. Chapter 7--Storm Clouds

I was busy in the kitchen so didn't hear my wolf sneak in. I melted into him when he wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his warm lips at the curve of my neck where it meets my shoulder. His lips traced up to my ear where he whispered, "You're beautiful." Somehow I ended up sitting on the counter kissing him and allowing his heat to mold me around his strong body. But, I didn't let him kiss me too long because I had spent too much time making this breakfast for it to go to waste and I heard his stomach rumble.

"Did Esme not feed you?" I asked after the rumbling stopped and I kissed his bottom lip.

"Jake wouldn't let her. He said you had something planned and I shouldn't mess it up." He looked around the kitchen and then inhaled deeply. "Cinnamon rolls, eggs, and bacon." He smiled. "All my favorites." He dipped to kiss me with new fervor and my hands slid up his bare back again.

"Let's eat before you waste away to nothing." I finally said. Then I pouted when he pulled away and we lost contact. He pulled my hand and I hopped off the counter and he helped me take things to the table.

"Why are you pouting?" Jake asked smiling.

"You're going to have to put a shirt on when we go to Port Angeles today." I complained.

"Yeah?" He still didn't understand.

"I like you shirtless." I smirked and filled my plate with scrambled egg whites and two slices of bacon while Seth ate all the rest including the entire pan of homemade cinnamon rolls.

The rest of the day was spent like two little kids who had discovered a new toy. I guess we were two horny teenagers who had just discovered kissing. I was grateful that Seth was courteous and conscious of who was around so we weren't to obscene with our affection. It became a game for him to find a secluded spot wherever we went and pull me into so he could kiss me. When I filled up my car at the gas station he pulled me into the little alcove where the bathrooms were to remind me of how sensitive my neck was. So, I decided that the seclusion of the dark movie theater would provide me an opportunity to test how sensitive his ears were. It was a good thing that it was an action movie so other people couldn't hear his gasps and grunts. We choose seats in the rear of a nearly deserted theater so when he pulled me onto his lap, no one noticed.

Dinner was a quick affair of takeout and very little Doctor Who was viewed even though we were three discs into the series. By the time we fell asleep on the couch again for the night my lips were chapped and puffy and I had a hickey below my shirt line. I had allowed him to give me one after he begged, but I chose the spot. There were a few times during the night we woke up to practice a little more but morning found us sleeping late. We probably would have slept into late morning if hadn't opened my eyes to find my mother staring down at us wrapped up in each other.

"Good morning." She said in her short clipped voice which meant I was in very serious trouble. She wore a gray business suit with a skirt that was long enough to be modest but short enough to show off her toned russet legs. Her modern hair style made her look professional, but also maintained her image as a successful Native American woman. She liked the prestige of being a Native American, but she really didn't like coming home to actually live the life.

"Good morning." I said like I didn't know or understand that something was wrong. She knew that Seth stayed over sometimes when she was out of town. We were both clothed and we weren't sleeping in my bed, which I thought would have been very damning. But, I mentally evaluated how this looked to her. Seth was shirtless and she didn't know that was a normal pack occurrence. Our legs were entwined in a way that looked very intimate and Seth's hand was splayed across my back, but it was under my shirt touching my skin. Yeah, I was going to get a lecture so I may as well deserve it.

I didn't like the way she was looking at me and I knew that anything I said or did would be used against me as well as anything I didn't say or do. So I did what I felt like doing. I moved my lips to Seth's ear and whispered into it. "Baby, we need to get up. My mom is here." The sound of my voice made him smile and hug me closer which may have appeared to my mother to increase the contact of our bodies where we were so intimately entwined. It made me smile again. "Seth, my mom is here and looking at us." I kissed his cheek. That did it.

His eyes flew open and he turned his head. I found the fear and alarm in his eyes comical. He rolled over and fell onto the floor and scrabbled up quickly. "Ms. Qahla! Good morning!" He stammered. The fact that he was shirtless did not escape my mother's keen eyes, but I would point out to her later that he did not have to look for shed clothing, either. Too bad I couldn't point out that it was a pack thing.

"Seth, relax." I said as I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist. My mother ceased to intimidate me two years ago when I decided I didn't care what she thought of me. I was never smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, talkative enough…I could never do enough. Ironically though, it was the things she said to me that fueled my desire to be educated and get out from under her thumb. I knew it was my only way to freedom and the fact that the information came out of her mouth did not bother me. She could be ruthless, though and I didn't want her getting into Seth's head.

"Go home and shower and I'll meet you at one. Okay?" The coldness of my voice prompted him to do as I suggested without question. His arms squeezed me briefly and he left.

"See you, Ms. Qahla." Was all he said and he headed towards the door.

"So?" My mother asked when the door closed behind him.

"So, what?" I asked as I headed down the hallway to my bedroom to change into running clothes. "You're home early." I hoped she followed me so she could see my flawlessly made bed.

"Don't you walk away from me!" She followed me. "I got a phone call from a neighbor telling me that you had a party here yesterday."

"Then you were misinformed the only people who have been over here have been Seth and his sister." I said rummaging through my drawers for my running pants and a sports bra.

"Was the report that you were kissing him in the front yard accurate?" She spat.

I smiled to myself and couldn't hide my blush. "Yes. That was accurate." I stated firmly and proudly. "I'd love to share the experience of my first kiss with you, but you'd smear it into something it isn't and I don't want to put myself through that." I headed towards the bathroom.

"So yesterday was the first time that happened?" She asked following me. "Stop! I need to talk to you."

I dropped my clothes on the bathroom floor and turned to look at her from the doorway. "Why? So you can tell me how disappointed you are in me? So you can lecture me about the dangers of sex? So you can turn the best thing that's happened to me for as a really long time into something tawdry and gross? I don't think so. I'm going for a run."

"Yes, we are going to talk about all those things." She spat, but her sails had considerable less wind in them.

"Can I pee first?" I asked.

"You're so crude. I know I didn't raise you to be that way!" My mother said as she turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

_You didn't raise me_. I thought, the Clearwaters did. I changed clothes and went through my normal morning routine. I rebraided my hair that was still wet from my shower yesterday. I'd leave it down and free today so it could dry. When I came out of the bathroom my mother called me from the living room. I could smell coffee and I knew that she'd be a little calmer with that cup in her hand.

"So let's get this lecture over with." I said. "I have things to do." I sat on the couch and figured I could just replay make-out memories in my mind while she droned on endlessly.

"He sure did flee quickly after getting caught." My mother remarked.

"We didn't get caught doing anything. I wanted him gone so you couldn't convince him that being involved with me is a bad thing." I returned in a cool voice.

"You don't think getting caught sleeping with a boy by your mother is a bad thing?" She asked a bit alarmed.

"Sleeping with him? No. All we were doing was sleeping. All we've ever done is kiss. It. Was. Yesterday that he first kissed me. I'm not having sex and I have no plans to have sex in the near future. So save me the talk about unwanted children ruining lives for another day. I live that every day."

My mother frowned. "That's how you think I feel?" I stared at her blankly. "Raven, I just want what's best for you and he isn't it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her. I was really glad that I asked Seth to leave. I had an idea of where she was going to go with this and I had no defense for it because I couldn't reveal tribe secrets.

"He's not going anywhere. From what I hear, he and his friends skip school and don't do anything but run around the reservation half naked showing off their bulging muscles. People off the reservation call them the "La Push Gang". Are you such a stupid, trite girl that you'd fall for a shirtless meathead? Just because you're heavy doesn't mean you have to settle." She pleaded.

"I'm not going to listen to this. You don't know anything about these people. What I find remarkable is that the woman who works for the Bureau of Indian Affairs knows so little about her own tribe. You should know more of their history and traditions. Then maybe you'd understand what they're doing. They help people, mom. And let's not forget the fact that you're the reason I know _Seth_ so well," I emphasized his name so she could possibly see him as a person. "is because I spent so much time at the Clearwater's house. He's my best friend and always has been. I didn't fall for his muscles."

"Raven, I just want you to have options. If you get tied down here…" She trailed off and the resolution crossed her face. "You're not to see that boy again. I'm glad that all you've done is kiss, because that's where it's going to end."

"You're going to forbid me from seeing my best friend? I don't think so." I refuted.

"As long as you live under my…" She began but I cut her off.

"Then I won't live here. Is that what you want?" I asked. She was speechless. Didn't she realize that spending weeks and weeks at a time away from me severed any emotional dependence I felt after her constant mental and emotional abuse? Did she not realize that the only reason I stayed in this house is because I only have a few more months until graduation?

"And where would you go?" She asked in a low tone. Her own vanity would not allow her to consider living in the poorer sections of the reservation. But I had stayed there for weeks on end while she traveled for her job. I had none of her vain concerns and I know that I could go stay with Billy if I really needed to.

"I happen to be on very good terms with the Chief Elder of the Tribe if you must know. If you aren't aware of it yet, the council has made me the official tribe historian. I'm sure that someone would put up the daughter of their government liaison officer. Should I tell them the reason you're kicking me out of the house? Because you don't want me dating one of their favorite sons because you feel he's not good enough for me? I'm sure that would go over well."

"Where did you learn to be like this?" She asked in horror. I wasn't fooled. She was more concerned how she would look to the Elders and her employers than for my feelings.

"I wonder." I let that remark sink in. "Do have a place to come back to after my run or should I pack my clothes now and find somewhere to go?" I shot. "Since my father bought my car, I assume I'm allowed to take that with me."

"Your home is here." She looked me over in my running gear. "You're looking quite fit."

"Thanks." I said not really taking her compliment.

"I won't be here when you get back." She paused. "I came home quickly after the phone call. I have another trip to D. C. and I just came to swap clothes. I guess now is as good a time as ever to tell you that we're moving to Portland at the end of the month. That way I'll be closer to my office."

"You're moving to Portland. I'm staying here to finish school." I stated matter-of-factly. I had applied for and earned my own scholarships and done everything I needed to do to secure my life without the woman who wanted no part of me except when it was convenient or inconvenient for her. She was the only person I was like this with and I don't think anyone would believe this conversation if they couldn't see it. "You just said my home is here."

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "We'll talk about it when I get back next week." She never liked face anything head on. No wonder she was all alone.

"Whatever." I said going to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She hurt me even now, but I'd never let her know it. I longed for the kind of relationship I saw Leah and Sue had or Billy and Jacob had. She never let my dad see me even though she let him buy me a car. I resented the control she had over my life so much that I began cutting the ties that bound us many years ago. There were only a few more left and now that I was 18 the legal ties were thin. Being on good terms with Billy would make those easy to break, but I didn't want to abuse that relationship. I would only ask him for help if I really needed to. "What day will you be back?" I asked.

"I'm not really sure and I think the new situation with that boy requires me to be spontaneous so you are careful." She answered.

"Whatever." I knew how much this response irritated her and she was baiting me. She liked my compliance and she liked knowing how to push my buttons, so I learned that this denied her both. "You can't catch me doing anything wrong if I'm no doing anything wrong."

"I will make sure that Sue is aware of your relationship." She warned.

"I'm sure Leah has already told her since Leah is the one who pushed Seth into finally acting on his feelings for me." I retorted. "Tell her I say hello and I'll be over for dinner tonight." I smiled winningly. "Why don't you tell her your real concerns about our relationship while you're at it? Tell her that her 'beautiful baby boy' isn't good enough for me." Again, I took the wind out of her sails.

"Well, you are ruthless, aren't you?" She mumbled under her breath.

"I mirror the attitudes directed at me." I stated clearly so she knew I heard her remark. I grabbed my keys and headed towards the beach.

* * *

**A/N: I don't like Raven's mother. And, for a moment I thought that maybe Raven's words, actions, and attitudes were a little out of character, but you haven't seen the Raven I have pictured in my head. So tell me what you think. I mentioned Leah doesn't like her…there is more to that.**


	8. Chapter 8--Undertows

I knew from Jacob's memories that this was around the place where she turned around on her run. I hoped I could catch her and run back with her. When I phased, both Jacob and Leah were on patrol. I was grateful it wasn't Quill or Embry; I didn't want to have to explain anything. Both felt my anxiety and they both left me alone. Jacob directed me to the right spot and then I phased to wait for my Raven. And, it wasn't too long before her form came into view.

She looked up and recognized me and smiled. I hopped down from my rock and caught up with her as she turned around to head back. "Hey Beautiful! Mind if I run back with you?"

"Only if you promise not to make fun of how slow I go." She smiled.

"Never." We ran in relative silence; the only sound was the steady huffs of her elevated breathing. After about twenty minutes we slowed and walked back to where she shed her shoes, keys, and bottle of water.

"So," I began. "How'd it go with your mom?" I finally asked, cautiously. I heard her sigh through her labored breathing.

"Seth, there's a lot I haven't told you about my mother and I. We don't along very well…and well…She's using us as an excuse to try to move me to Portland." My heart dropped. I didn't know what I'd do without her if she moved that far away. I can't leave the pack…she must have seen the look on my face because she stopped and hugged me tightly around the waist.

"I'm independent enough to be able to stay, if I have a place to live. It'd be stupid to leave with just a few months left in school." She reached up to kiss me. "I told her I wasn't moving."

We walked like that for a few minutes and I finally stopped her. "She doesn't like me." I stated. I could tell by the way she looked at me when I fell on the floor.

"She doesn't like Indians it seems." Raven said. "Not the kind that stay on reservations, anyway. She's had a chip on her shoulders since I was conceived and I wouldn't doubt if it was there before that."

I couldn't believe that Raven was speaking so negatively about someone. Was this the same girl who urged me to go fix things with my sister just yesterday?

"Did you guys know that off the res you're called the LaPush gang?" I shook my head. "Yeah." She continued. "My mom thinks that you guys are juvenile delinquents who skip school to go to the gym so you can walk around shirtless impressing the girls." I could see the anger flare into her eyes. "She asked me if I was stupid enough to fall for that." Then she caught me by surprise again when her eyes filled with tears and her body wracked with sobs. She fell to her knees as the pain she felt seemed to overwhelm her. I dropped down beside her and gathered her into my lap.

"Shhh." I soothed and rocked her back and forth. I had never seen Raven like this before; never. She was normally so strong and self assured. But at the same time, I was glad that she felt comfortable enough to show this with me. My heart split in two at her pain.

"Why do I let her get to me, Seth? Why do her words hurt me so much?" She cried into my shoulder.

"Because she's your mother…" I cooed. "…and you want her to love you and all parts of you." I whispered in her ear and tried to reassure her how special she was. I kissed her head and stroked her back as she clung to me. All I could think was this should have been her mother holding her about something insensitive I said. This situation was all backwards and it made me angry that someone had hurt my kind, loving girl so much.

"Seth." She said after a few more minutes and sitting up. She wiped her eyes and it looked like she was getting control of herself. "She doesn't even know the history of the tribe; or she doesn't understand it. She thinks all you guys are in a gang, but she won't stop to ask people on the reservation how you help in all the small ways that matter."

"What do you mean 'the small ways'?" I asked.

"Well, I know Sam drives Mr. Blackfoot to the doctor at least every other week. Jacob has Dr. Cullen providing free check-ups and vaccinations to anyone on the res that needs them. Not that Dr. Cullen wouldn't do that anyway, but Jacob is the only reason he's allowed on the reservation since the treaty has been amended. I've seen you and Quil and Embry fix up the dilapidated houses so that the roofs don't leak in the heavy rain. And, Jacob, Paul, and Jared will fix anyone's car for the cost of parts. If you guys are a gang, it's a gang of do-gooders and my mother just won't see that."

I had never thought of all those things put together like that before. Sam just said it was our job to look out for people on the reservation and so we did. It was true we skipped a lot of school, but we thought of that as our pay check and no one seemed to mind too much.

"She says you'll never go anywhere and she doesn't want to see me get tied down." She said the last part so low my 'wolfie senses,' as she called it, had to pick it up. A large round tear rolled down her cheek.

Then, a light went on in her eyes and I could see her mind working. "But!" She almost shouted and her tears stopped. "What if we begin some program that aims to send kids from the res to get college educated? Part of the pack could go to protect the tribe members and receive educations themselves!" The gears in her head were cranking. "I've been recording the legends and histories for months now and the key to the survival of the Quileute people has always been adaptation. If we don't adapt in some new ways, then we can't preserve the old ways. There's federal money for our kids to go," She looked at me with new fervor, "AND YOU! There's money for you, too!" Like the thought just registered that I was Quileute, too. "It's just sitting waiting for our kids to apply to use it. And we could be together! We could start a massive program that aims to send Quileute kids to college to learn trades and how to be teachers and then come home to revive the reservation. Sam's pack could stay here to protect LaPush and Jacob's pack could be sent to protect those at college." Then she started mumbling to herself. "We'd have to choose a university to centralize the students, but we could form an official organization. I bet the university would love it and even get federal money for sponsoring such a program. We could begin with just a few and…"

I lost her when she told me I could go to college. I had never even thought about it. I phased when I was fifteen and then the duties of the pack required me to stay here. But there was something to her idea. Jake's pack comprised the younger and unattached wolves, except for Quill whose Claire would not be ready for marriage for over a decade. Sam's pack was married and/or more settled. I looked at her in wonder. Her tears were gone. She had just transformed all her pain and anger into a wonderful plan that would appeal to almost everyone in LaPush.

All I could think to do what kiss her. I poured into it my relief that she wasn't upset anymore as well as my admiration for her ability to think of everyone but herself. "You like the idea then?" She asked when I finally pulled away.

"It sounds good to me, but is it possible? Would the elders go for it? How soon could it be put into place? We need to talk to Jacob. I bet he can help us think of all the kinks and work them out." My mind was working just as fast as hers. If I wanted to go away to school with her, I'd have to get my butt in gear. I knew Raven planned on going to college, but it never occurred to me that she'd be gone. Now I wanted to go with her. But is that the right reason to go? I could consider that later. Right now I was just happy that she wasn't hurting so much anymore. Or, that her mind was off it at least.

"Come on. Let's go to the Cullen's house. Nessie is waiting to meet you anyway." I said.

"I need to shower, Seth. I'm gross." She protested. We picked up her things and headed to her car we decided to head straight to the Cullen's just in case her mom still hadn't left for her next trip.

Raven's eyes were wide when we pulled up to the Cullen's house. I smiled at her. "It's big, huh? I hope you're hungry. Esme and Edward love to cook and they know you're coming."

Before we could get to the door Renesmee was running towards me and she jumped in the air for me to catch her. She almost knocked the wind out of me. "Whoa, Nessie! You're getting big!" Jake followed behind her grinning.

"Hey, man! Raven." Jake nodded at us. "You're early."

"Raven has some ideas that she wanted to run by you." His eyebrow arched at me, but he could tell that my anxiety was gone and things were okay between Raven and I. I put Nessie down and introduced her to my girl. "Nessie, this is Raven. Raven, this is Renesmee."

Nessie grabbed Raven up in her arms and gave her a big hug. "You're the one who makes Seth so happy." She breathed. "And you do smell good." Raven looked at me and I blushed.

"Well, you do." I said. "Even after a run." She pinched her fingers together indicating that she would not be above giving me a purple nurple in front of everyone.

"You're the Harry Potter fan who's finally forcing Jake to broaden his horizons." She said back to Nessie and then they launched into a whole discussion about British authors and books about rings and sensibilities and prejudices against lions and witches. I couldn't follow it. I realized that going back to school on a regular basis might be a good idea.

Jake and I followed the girls into the house. It looked like Raven and Nessie were deep in conversation so I briefly filled Jake in on what happened this morning and Raven's idea. Jake looked interested, but wanted to talk to Raven more about it.

All of a sudden we all heard a snarl come from up stairs. "Bella? What is it?" Edward asked. Jacob and Renesmee looked towards the stairs, but Raven didn't seem to hear anything. She only looked after all of our attention was pointed to the stairs. Many things seemed to happen at once and I was powerless to stop or help with any of them.

Bella came flying down the stairs at vampire speed and grabbed Raven from behind. Raven didn't even see her coming. Edward called for Emmett and Carlisle as Jasper seemed to appear out of nowhere. Before Edward and Jasper could catch her, Bella sank her teeth into the back Raven's of neck. Raven fell to the floor as Bella allowed Edward and Jasper to pull her off.

"Get me out of here!" Bella screamed. "I'm sorry!" By then Emmett and Carlisle were in the room. Emmett helped Edward and Jasper pull Bella outside and Carlisle knelt beside Raven. That's when I felt Jacob force me to the floor as my body began to quake.

"Seth, breath. If you think you're going to phase I'm going to make you leave. Breathe!" Jacob hissed into my ear. It still hadn't registered what happened in my brain, though my body was reacting. I did as he told me, but all I could see was my Raven in what seemed to be torturous pain.

Raven was writhing on the floor and Renesmee moved quickly towards her. "Carlisle, let me suck the venom out. She smells good to me, but I don't crave her." Esmee and Rosalie moved to pull Nessie away, but Carlisle put up his hand to stop them.

Renesmee touched his face obviously communicating something to him and he moved aside granting her access to Raven. She placed her lips where Bella had broken the skin while keeping contact with Carlisle. She took three pulls from Raven's neck and when Carlisle said, "That's good. You've drawn it all." He smiled at his granddaughter as she pulled away. Renesmee bent over again and licked the wound and in a matter of seconds, it healed over.

The tremors in my body stopped when I saw that Raven was no longer in pain and her neck was now healed. I was numb and my ears were ringing. That was nothing to what happened next.

Raven sat up. "You mom sure knows how to make an impression." She said to Renesmee.

* * *

**A/N: So how was that for a twist?**


	9. Chapter 9--Thunder Storms

That hurt. The sudden cessation of pain actually amplified the pain in my memory and I had to try to think of the relief I felt instead of remembering the pain that shot through my neck when Bella's teeth cut through my skin. What a day!

"You're mom sure leaves an impression." I said to Renesmee. She smirked at me and then frowned. She touched my face and projected all the concern and fear she felt for me.

"Seth! Calm down." I heard Jacob mutter into my boyfriend's ear across the room. Jacob had Seth's arms pinned behind him. "Raven," He directed, "tell him you're okay."

"Seth, I'm okay." I tried to reassure him. I stood up to move towards him.

"No!" Jacob said. "Stay there. If he phases you could end up…" He trailed off but I knew he had Emily in mind. I stayed still.

"I'm going to go…" Seth breathed. "I need to run." He looked at me. "You're okay?" I nodded. "I'm so sorry Raven." Pain twisted his expression and fear clouded his eyes. He turned and headed out the back door and phased before he reached the woods leaving shreds of clothes on the lawn.

"I'll go lay out some new shorts at the normal spot." I heard Esme say as she drifted up the stairs.

Edward had reentered the room and looked at me warily. "Raven, I'm so, so sorry. Bella is mortified." I flinched and moved towards Jacob. "Don't worry. She's in a car with Emmett and Rosalie on the way to Alaska. I'll follow them later."

Jacob put his arm around me and led me to the couch and Renesmee sat on my other side. I found her presence very comforting and she took my hand which was shaking. That's when I realized how scared I became when Bella's name was mentioned.

"Wait." I looked at Edward. "How's Seth?" I asked. I didn't know what caused the anxiety I saw in him and I didn't know what placed the fear in Seth's brown eyes.

"He's angry at himself. He's talking to Quill and Embry and reasoning things out." Edward answered.

"Is he angry at Bella?" I asked.

"No." Edward replied. "He's angry at himself for not doing anything to help you."

"Are Quil and Embry helping?" Jacob asked. I felt him shift, but I figured he wasn't going to leave me alone in a room full of vampires after I was just bitten and survived. I was grateful for his strong arm that tucked me into his side. I felt so little sitting next to him and that made me feel safe.

"Yes." Edward replied with a far off expression on his face. "Seth showed them his memory and they're telling him that there was nothing he could do to protect her. He's listening, but he's running off his anger."

"What did happen?" Carlisle asked in a calm and clinical tone.

"Her blood sings to Bella." Edward explained. Everyone nodded around me or sighed.

"What does that mean?" I asked. I was obviously the only one unaware of what that meant.

"It means that your blood is especially appetizing to Bella." I still didn't understand so he continued. "When we are thirsty there is a burning sensation in our throats. For us," He gestured to his family. "this is always present because we drink animal blood and not human blood. Animal blood never completely quenches the thirst. The burn for newborns is almost uncontrollable and the scent of human blood intensifies the burn. A singer's blood for an aged Vampire is hard to resist and Bella is only two. While she has shown extreme self-control around humans, the call of your blood, to her, was unstoppable. She didn't even know what she was doing until the flavor of your blood was on her tongue. She allowed me to see what it felt like to her so that I could try to compare experiences."

I let that sink in for a minute. "What do you mean to compare experiences?" I asked.

"Bella was my singer." Edward's eyes glinted at the memory. "I almost killed her the first day we met and I had almost a century to master my thirst." He explained. He focused on me and said in a pained voice.

"But you didn't and then you married her." I concluded. "You dated and married her while she was still human." I added. He watched me as I worked through my thoughts on this. I did not forget that Edward could read my thoughts. He nodded as I processed this. "And you learned to control it." I stated.

"It was difficult, but the more I grew to love her, the less I wanted to harm her." He paused for a moment. "While she shared her thoughts with me, I saw how much she regretted attacking you."

Jasper agreed from the corner. "I felt her thirst turn to need and then turn to remorse as she attacked you. She did not resist when we pulled her off you."

Nessie placed her hand on my cheek and in my mind I saw the scene replayed from her perspective. Seth told me about her gift, but I wasn't prepared for how vivid the images would be. When the vision was finished, and I had not only seen Renesmee save me, but felt her alarm at what her mother had accidentally done and her desire to rectify it, I reached out and hugged her close to me. She hugged me back.

"Thank you!" I whispered into her ear. "You took away the burning." It was all I could think to tell her. I certainly wasn't angry at Bella. I still shuddered when I thought her name, but she just reacted instinctually and then allowed herself to be dragged away when she realized what she did.

"Please don't be angry with her." She pleaded.

"I'm not. I am scared of her though." I qualified.

"Understandable." Carlisle agreed. "We're glad that you have such a forgiving heart. Bella will stay in Alaska until we can figure out what to do."

"I can't be responsible for separating your family." I said, appalled. "And to take Renesmee to be with Bella would kill Jacob." I looked over at him. I was mortified that I had caused so much trouble. It might be better if I go to Portland with my mom. I felt a weight settle on my shoulders and my heart ached at the thought of having to leave Seth behind. I felt Jacob rub my back in a brotherly way.

Carlisle's look was both loving and pained. "We're more concerned about you right now." I smiled weakly at him. "May I look at your neck? Just to be sure you're okay." He added. I nodded and moved my braid so he could see where Bella took a bite out of me. I ran my own fingers over it and I couldn't feel any difference in the skin, though it was a bit cooler in temperature. The pressure of Jacob's reassuring hand was still on my back and I felt safe as Dr. Cullen examined me.

Carlisle did the same. "Nessie, you sealed it." His look was contemplative. "So, you're not venomous, but your saliva has healing properties." His eyes found mine. "And you're in no more pain?" He asked.

"No. And I don't even like to think about remembering what that felt like." I replied. "That's what you endured when you changed?" I asked. Carlisle's grim smile was all the answer I needed. "Wow."

"It appears to be cooler to the touch like Bella's scar from James was, but it isn't raised. In fact, Jasper, it looks like all of yours. I'm going to have to research this, but how and where…" His voice trailed off as his mind began working his new problem. "Would you excuse me?" He asked me politely. Again, I nodded. They certainly were a polite bunch of vampires, even after being bitten.

"I need to talk to Seth." I turned to Jacob. "Can you bring him back here?" I was sure Quill and Embry are helping him, but I was also sure that he needed to hear from me to really calm down. I knew what he was doing to himself and I needed to touch him and hug him. I had almost died, or became a vampire, and all I wanted to do was be held by Seth. I needed him.

"Sure." Jacob replied. "Come outside with me."

"Can I come?" Renesmee asked. It looked like she didn't like to be away from Jacob any more than she needed to be. I really understood how she felt.

"Please." I answered. "I feel better knowing you can heal me." I smiled at her.

"Jasper should come, too." Renesmee suggested. "He can help." Again, I knew about Jasper's gift as well and I shot him a quizzical look. He answered the question in my eyes before I could verbalize it.

"Yes, I helped him so he didn't phase in the house." He confirmed.

"Then you're the reason he didn't protect her?" Edward and Jacob said together.

"I have to go tell him." Jacob said as he jumped of the couch and ran out the door.

Alice appeared at my side with two pair of knit shorts. "They usually emerge from that area over there." She pointed out the window to an alcove in the trees. "They'll need these when they come back. Why don't you go wait for them there?" She prompted.

"Thank you." I said anxious to get out of the house. I knew I wasn't in any danger, but I didn't want to be without my wolves so soon.

"I'll show her." Nessie said. She grabbed my free hand and we walked to the edge of the woods, picking up Jacob's shredded shorts, and waited.

"Jasper? Why am I not angry?" I asked perplexed by my own feelings.

"I can tell people what they feel, but I can't begin to tell them why they feel it. Everyone is different. I can make better guesses about people I know well, but I barely know you." Jasper answered.

"Were you, or are you, helping me at all?" I asked. "I mean, with my feelings?"

"No." He said, simply. "It didn't seem like you needed it." He closed his eyes as if measuring me or evaluating me. "You're scared, but it's emotional fear. Not the terror people feel when they are in physical danger. You feel safe with us. I can ask you some questions to gage how you react. That helps figure out the reasons for your feelings."

"Okay." It sounded like a productive way to pass the time while I waited for Seth to return. Nessie took my hand again.

"I felt your fear shift when Carlisle told you that Bella was on her way to Alaska. Why would you fear that?" Jasper asked me.

"Because I don't want to be the reason that Nessie is away from her parents. And, if she goes with them, Jacob will be left here without her." I answered.

"That's not was causes your fear. That causes you to feel concern." He discerned. His gift was so interesting and when he made that distinction I remembered what thought followed.

"My mother is moving to Portland and she wants me to go with her. We had a fight this morning and I told her I was staying. After everything that's happened, I've realized that moving to Portland would be best for everyone…" I trailed of and didn't finish my sentence aloud. It would be better for everyone except me.

"That's not fear, that's sadness." Jasper defined.

"And I'll be away from Seth." An overwhelming sadness seemed to smother me as I decided that it was best. I would call my mother and apologize for my behavior…like I always did. And I would consent to move to Portland. I wasn't feeling fear anymore. What I was feeling was hopelessness.

I was exhausted. So much had happened in the space of two hours. I allowed my mind to run over everything that happened and it seemed Jasper was evaluating all I was feeling. I didn't notice when Renesmee lifted the shorts that Esmee gave me from my arms. But I did notice when two familiar arms wrapped around me. That's when the tears started. I cried because I needed him and he was there. I cried because he was angry with himself. I cried because I realized that I almost died and didn't. And I cried because I was going to have to leave him. It just wasn't fair.

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**A/N: Don't hate me, but it's about to get painful.**


	10. Chapter 10--Red Sky in Morning

"Raven." I said as my toes curled. She ignored me. Her hands were at my waist tugging at the waistband of my shorts as she traced her lips down my chest leaving a trail of fire and desire. When she reached my stomach I felt my resolve slipping. "Raven, please…stop!" I called in a desperate attempt to get her to stop even though my entire body was singing a chorus begging her to continue. I could feel her smile and when her hot breath and lips reached my bellybutton and I felt the tip of her tongue dip into it…that was it. I couldn't take any more.

"Stop. I mean it." I growled. She sat up still astride me as I lay on her bed on my back, panting like the dog I was. I brought her back to her house after our very eventful morning at the Cullen's and she dragged me into her bedroom. We hadn't been in her bedroom together since I kissed her yesterday morning and I didn't see this going anywhere productive. As much as my body liked what she was doing, I knew that neither of us was ready for that step.

Raven pouted and tried to pull away from me. I could see the rejection and pain in her eyes. I caught her wrist and pulled her down beside me so we were both lying on our sides, facing each other. I threw my leg over her hip so she couldn't escape and I held her close to me. "Quit pouting." I whispered. "I'm not rejecting you; you were just heading us to a place I'm not ready to go yet."

"Why?" I heard her whisper. Her voice was still full of emotion from all that she endured today.

"It's not because I don't want you." I shifted my hips to emphasize my point and she chuckled through her tears. She finally looked at me and there was relief in her eyes. My heart clenched that she was feeling so much. "We just started this yesterday." I kissed the tear that ran down the side of her nose. "I love how comfortable we are with each other and I think sex will mess that up." She moved to chew her fingernail. "That's where you were heading us, right?" I asked. I pulled her finger out of her mouth and placed her hand on my waist. I wanted to show her that I still wanted her to touch me.

"Yes." She squeaked. "We only started this yesterday and it's already going to end. I just wanted to have an experience and know that you were mine for just a little while." New tears streamed down her face. I began to question whether or not changing our relationship was a good thing because I had never seen Raven so vulnerable or upset. She was always so strong and self-reliant. She always knew what she wanted. Since I kissed her yesterday morning I have seen her cry more than I've seen her cry the rest of the time I've known her combined. Maybe though, she just felt closer to me and like she could show this side of herself to me.

"Why do you think it's going to end?" I asked her as I ran my thumbs across her cheeks trying to dry her tears. "I'm not going anywhere. I know I ran away today, but that was the only way I could think of to work off the anger and fear that I felt." After Jacob and Edward explained to me that it was Jasper controlling my mood that kept me from phasing in the house and killing Bella and possibly hurting everyone around me, I felt better about being completely paralyzed when Raven almost died.

"I'm going to have to go to Portland with my mom. I can't keep Nessie from her mom and I can't keep Jacob from Nessie. The easiest and best solution is for me to leave with her and finish high school." My heart sank as I realized the reason for her tears and her carnal attack on me. Then, my love her deepened because I couldn't believe how wonderful my girl was. She was always thinking of everyone else and I was sorry that I had to admit that her logic was sound. It is the easiest and best solution…even though it tore my heart out.

"Raven," I cooed and I kissed her lips softly. "Even if you're right," I wasn't ready to admit it out loud yet. "that doesn't mean this has to end." I ran my nose along her jawline. "We'll figure something out, but I'm not giving you up." I kissed her again and poured into it the overwhelming love I felt for her into it. She responded in kind and before long we were both breathless.

"I thought you said you didn't want to go down this road." Raven said and I could feel her smile against my neck where she had just been kissing. I realized that we had rolled to the center of the bed and I was on top of her where I had settled between her legs. I blushed when I saw how intimate we actually were. How is it that I wasn't even aware of how we got to that point? That frightened me a little.

"Sorry." It was all I could think of to say though I didn't feel very remorseful. It took every bit of my self-control to roll back to my side. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll make you some lunch?" I suggested. "We have some things to talk about…I really liked your idea about college." I saw her eyes light up again. A smile broke the weariness on her face that beamed brightly through her gloom and hope was restored to her beautiful features.

"Seth! You're a genius!" She grabbed my face and pulled me into another frantic kiss, but it was quick. It was like a burst of gratitude. "Yes, make some lunch, I'm starving and I'll be out in about 30 minutes." She hopped off the bed and began humming to herself.

Okay, I thought. I'm a genius and I can go to college. The whole reason we went to the Cullen's early was to talk to Jacob about her idea. I pulled out Raven's phone and called over to the Cullen's. Jake was on the phone in a few moments.

"Is everything okay? Do you need the Doc?" He blurted anxiously. His voice was a little frantic.

"No. Why are you so worried?" I asked.

"You've never called on the Cullen's phone before and after this morning..." Jacob said a little calmer. "What's up, Seth?"

"Oh." I hadn't thought about that. "Sorry. No, we never got to talk about an idea Raven had which was the reason we went over early. You know that whole Bella trying to kill her thing distracted us." I heard him chuckle. "Can you come over now so you can hear what she has to say? Occupying her mind with this seems to have distracted her from all the other stuff that happened and I want to keep her distracted." I explained.

"Sure, Seth. I'll be over as fast as my legs can carry me." Jacob said.

"Thanks, man." I said. Jacob really was a great pack leader. Not that Sam wasn't; Jacob was more of a friendly leader and less of an authoritarian leader. I wanted to please and obey Jacob whereas under Sam…he would compel us. I knew I could leave Jake's pack at any time and that knowledge is actually what kept me there. I knew Jacob would do what he could to help with this extremely new idea and Raven's idea would help us all.

I went into the kitchen to make us all some lunch. As I thought about what to prepare I looked in the refrigerator and tried to remember what Raven's favorites were. When I thought about it closely she really had made many changes in what she ate. I decided on sandwiches, but I used the lower calorie items I found on Raven's sandwich figuring that's what she'd use. I made a plate of various vegetables and poured her a diet Coke. When she came into the kitchen to see what I had prepared her jaw dropped.

"What?" I asked, confused by her expression. Her eyes had glanced over the counter where I had left quite a mess and then back to the table where I spread out our lunch. "I'll clean it up, I promise."

"It's not that…" She paused. "…you've made my favorite with all…" She trailed off as she quickly moved to me. Before I knew it her lips covered mine while her hands fisted in my hair. I pulled her in tightly reciprocating her zeal because, hey, I was a teenage boy who just discovered kissing yesterday. Neither one of us heard Jake knocking at the door, nor the two times he rang the doorbell. He could hear us, though and he let himself in.

"Knock it off, now! I don't need to see that stuff for real. I'm going to have to see it enough in his memories." Jacob moved towards the table and sat in the chair closest to the door. "Is this mine?" He asked pointing at Raven's plate.

"NO!" Raven yelled possessively. "That one is mine. He made that for me." She said a little calmer and flashing me her glorious smile. I swear she was as territorial of that sandwich as any wolf had ever been over his imprint. It was kind of cute. I made my girl happy.

We all sat at the table and Raven explained to Jacob her idea for tapping into the available federal funds to send Quileute students' to college including the younger members of the pack as protection. She also explained how, in light of this morning's events, she would move with her mother to Portland. The latter would actually help her facilitate her idea and she could utilize the work she was doing recording tribal history as a way to strengthen her claim to modernize the tribe. She made it very clear, though, that everyone in the packs would have to graduate high school on schedule or as close to schedule as possible.

Just as I suspected, Jake warmed to the idea. He knew that Nessie would want to go to college in a few years and this plan would enable him to attend with her while strengthening the pack as a whole in so many other ways.

"Edward was telling me before I left how badly Bella felt about all of this. I'll bet she'd be willing to do whatever needs to be done from here to help your efforts. Let me get back to them and tell them what you've come up with."

Raven looked just as excited as she did when we left for the first time this morning to go to the Cullen's. I was astounded at how fast she could recoup after difficult experiences. Jacob looked at her and his expression turned serious.

"I appreciate your willingness to move to Portland. I agree that it is the easiest solution to the problem we encountered this morning. None of the Cullens are going to like it and they will try to keep it from happening. They don't like the idea of inconveniencing anyone because of their natural appetites." He smirked. "But I think if I suggest they help you with this, they will focus on that. They have resources that we can't even imagine." Raven was chewing on her pinky nail again, but I could see she was interested in the idea of the Cullens helping as well.

"Yes." She finally said. "It would help with pack/Cullen relations if news of this ever got out. I don't want anyone to know that Bella attacked me. Things are too good right now and if the Cullens provided aid on this, it would go a long way to smooth over any complications that may arise. How do you think Billy will react?" She asked Jacob.

"I think he'll like it. He'll especially the idea that this is all to strengthen and build up the reservation. When my sisters left it broke his heart, but he also knew that the only things left here for them were sad memories. If this would help rejuvenate the reservation and give more people opportunities to have a better life, he'll really like it. Do you want to propose it?" Jacob asked Raven. "He is really impressed with your work already and I think it would actually be more powerful coming from you with my backing."

Raven's eyes were firm and her smile wide again. "I would love to. I want to show my mother that strong affiliation to tribal heritage and education can go together…that they are not mutually exclusive." Her voice turned hard and sharp. "You can be proud of your roots and walk into progress without leaving others behind."

"You should use that when you speak to the council." Jacob said with smile that showed how impressed he was. "I know the separation will be hard for you and Seth, But I'll try to give him enough time off to come see you once and a while until you can be back together again."

My Raven reached out and hugged my pack leader tightly. I had hope. This was going to work and it was going to affect a whole heck of a lot more people for the better if we can sacrifice just a little bit now. My Raven was going to change her little corner of the world.

We spent the rest of the afternoon at Billy's house explaining to him the idea. He was apprehensive at first, but when Raven explained how it would strengthen the reservation because those in the pack felt the duty to protect LaPush and they would return. Having educated people return to the Reservation to be teachers and open up businesses would enrich the tribe as a whole enticing more to stay and possibly even bring back those who hadn't returned. When he realized the possible outcomes, he set a meeting with Elders for the next evening to discuss the proposal. Jacob went back to the Cullens to explain to them and enlist their help.

"We have one more night, Seth, before you go back on patrol." Raven said to me as we drove back to her house. "Stay with me." I didn't know what to say because I still didn't want to push our relationship, the physical one at least, further ahead. "Just to sleep. I like waking up in your arms…it will be a while until that can happen again." She added.

"I'd be glad to." I acquiesced. I didn't get much sleep that night between the kissing and the talking. But it was peaceful and the joy I felt to have that wonderful creature in my arms etched itself into my memories and I used it to calm my nerves in the very difficult weeks and months that followed.

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**A/N: What do you think? There are some very stormy seas coming. Can Raven and Seth find each other again through the choppy waters and the high winds?**


	11. Chapter 11--Dates and Surprises

**A/N: Thanksgiving break has given me an opportunity to write a little more than I normally would, so here's a longer chapter. I will have to add a chapter to my Hunger Games fic before those people kill me. I haven't done that in almost a month. So, tell me what you think of this one, please.**

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"Raven." My mom was using her annoyed voice. "Quit fidgeting. This is all for the best." I didn't even know what she was talking about. I was texting, not fidgeting.

"Whatever." I said. I'd been in Portland a month and the relationship with my mother was as chilly as ever. The difference is now I saw her more often. That was a circumstance I don't think either of us enjoyed.

"You need to get over this Seth thing. And going out with Gerry is just good for everyone." She said as she rushed by me on the couch getting ready for her own date.

"Don't you think it's weird to have your daughter date the son of the man you're dating?" I asked. I knew nothing was going to happen between Gerry and me, but I just wanted to point that out strangeness of the whole situation…again.

"I'm not 'dating' his father. We work together." She stated…again.

"Whatever. I've seen you two flirt and it's not only completely obvious, it's a bit nauseating." I admitted.

I'd been in Portland for almost a month and I was enjoying life here much more than I liked to admit to myself. The classes at my private school were much more challenging and I had to catch up on quite a bit, but I did. I enrolled in all AP courses, which weren't offered on the res, but I was caught up now and doing fine. This move really was a blessing, but it convinced me more and more how much I needed to go back and help revitalize the school in La Push.

I was excited because my mom said I could go home for a visit during the Christmas holidays. She decided not to sell the house and I'd get to stay there while I took care of enrolling applicants for our brand new Quileute College Bound Program. Bella had been a God-send taking care of the red tape in Washington. She had a level head when working with bureaucrats who wouldn't take me seriously because I was only in high school. She bought me a brand new laptop so that I could keep in constant contact with her via email and skype. Bella also bought Seth a cell phone so we could text and snap chat. I think she felt really guilty for our separation, but I didn't refuse the gifts. They were thoughtful and made the distance less painful.

I had made quite a few friends at school and we had regular study sessions, but that didn't seem to appease my mother. She wanted me to associate with the kids of her colleagues and foster "pan-tribe' relations as she put it. Again, we were back to how I could never do enough to please her so I wasn't even sure why she wanted me to go out with Geronimo "Gerry" Pelones because I was sure I would disappoint her. I was having a difficult time admitting that I was going on a date with someone named Geronimo. At least he had the good graces to go by Gerry for short.

"Why must you be so ugly?" My mother asked but not really wanting to know the answer. She never did.

"Because it's the only thing that gets a reaction." I said as I texted Seth. I told him about the date and how loathe I was to go. He was his normal, cheerful self. He trusted me and what we both felt for one another.

"Raven, when will you ever consider that I may actually know something about life? Do you think I do things just to make you miserable?" She asked.

"The latter had crossed my mind." I admitted candidly. I didn't think that, I just assumed she was completely apathetic of my wants, needs, and desires.

"Have you ever considered that Seth would move on without you there? Do you think a boy like that would just wait around for you and pine when there are so many other girls who could be had?" My mother was really pulling out all the stops to get me to doubt my relationship with Seth.

"Yeah, mom, I've considered it. Then when I realized it was all paranoid crap I stopped." I replied. "If I actually had all those thoughts you'd have me committed for being paranoid or co-dependent."

"I happen to know for a fact that he is going out on a date tonight. I talked with Sue just a little while ago to finalize plans for the holiday break. She said that Seth had a surprise evening planned tonight with someone special. Of course I didn't ask the details. I could tell she was trying to get me to let you down easy." She reported. I rolled my eyes. My mother needed a perception lens to accurately see how others saw her.

"Whatever." I replied. I didn't want to show it, but it was a fear that I had. I knew that Seth loved me. I knew it and I felt it. But we were only physically and romantically involved for two days before I decided to move and then we only had another week. After I called her to agree to move with her she wasted no time getting me out of there. But, what if Seth found someone he was more attracted to? I knew that our friendship was solid, but I didn't know that about our romantic relationship. My old insecurities flared up from time to time and I needed to see him again.

My phone buzzed then as if he knew I was thinking about him. He had really taken to texting. My mom didn't know that Bella bought Seth a phone, so she thought I was texting my new school friends.

_Where are you going on your big date with the Apache chief?_

_Movie and then dinner. I miss you. :( _

_I miss you, too. I've got plans tonight, too. Text me where you end up and I'll do the same. We can save each other long distance. Xxoo_

_Okay. I don't want to be rude, so texts may be sporadic. Love you, though._

_That's my polite and thoughtful girl. I love you, more._

"I hope you aren't that rude when you're out with Gerry and that you put that phone away for little while." My mother noted.

"The Clearwater's taught me better than that." I remarked as I went to answer the door. "He's here. Do you want to brown nose your boyfriend's son, or can I just leave with him?" I heard her tut behind me and I grabbed my sling bag on my way to the door.

"Hey!" Gerry greeted as I swung the door open. He was dressed casually in a pair of loose fitting jeans that hung classically from his waist. He wore a black button down shirt that was fitted enough to show he was athletic. His leather jacket was understated, but I knew Alice would be impressed.

"Hey, Gerry. How are you?" I asked. I closed the door behind me and locked the dead bolt with my key. I hated having to lock everything all the time. I never locked the house on the res. I wasn't even sure I locked it when we moved.

"I'm great. I'm glad you finally agree to go out." He seemed a little over anxious to me, but he was nice enough. Though, I didn't want to lead him on. He led me to his car and opened the passenger-side door for me. I climbed in and he closed the door. I leaned over to make sure his door was unlocked.

"Gerry," I began as he started his hybrid car and started off towards the movie theater. "I thought I should warn you that I have a boyfriend that I am quite attached to. I don't mind going out to have some fun, but that's all it's going to be." I really thought honesty was the best policy.

"You're mom warned about your feelings for…Seth? Is that his name?" He asked. I was very shocked that my mother had revealed so much about the undesirable portions of my life. Of course if she was informing others of my inadequacies she could be quite verbose.

"Great." I muttered. "Yes, his name is Seth." I knew that everything I was doing was going to help people on the reservation, but sometimes I wondered if I could stay in my mom's house long enough to make it worth it.

"I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable." He looked over at me. "Look, I get it. My father can be a bit overbearing as well. He has this idea of what my life should be like whether or not I agree. I assume that you only said yes to get her to shut the hell up." His language took me a little by surprise, but I had to agree.

"I'm sorry, too." I said. "I didn't consider whether or not you actually wanted to go out with me."

"But I did want to go out with you." He smiled slyly. "You're funny and you're smart. I know you have a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?" He said it and smiled cheerfully, but there was something challenging in his tone. I let it slip out of my mind. We did have a lot in common and if he truly understood about Seth, then we could actually have some fun.

"No. Nothing saying that." I agreed. "As long as you understand about Seth, then I'm game for almost anything." I smiled over at him. He quirked an eyebrow and grinned. "Anything legal." I added.

"See you already know me too well." He patted my leg and then quickly removed his hand. It was a friendly gesture and I didn't think much of it. "So what movie do you want to go see?" He asked me. I was glad he asked because that led to a great discussion about movies and television shows and eventually books. We decided on a movie and he paid for the tickets. I didn't like that, so I paid for the sodas and popcorn. That made it less like a date.

I texted Seth quickly as we went into the theater and found our seats. I told him what movie we were about to see and I hoped he was having a good time. He didn't respond so I shut off my phone for the movie. Gerry was actually a lot of fun to see a movie with. He didn't get annoyed with my running commentary and he actually started making clever remarks back. He was well read and got most of my inferences to other movies and books.

We left the theater for dinner and ended up at a greasy spoon of a place that served breakfast all night long. I texted Seth again and told him where we were eating. Gerry and I talked about school and different people in different clicks. He was impressed that I was able to catch up in all the AP classes and he asked me if I felt any discrimination from the white kids. I reported that I hadn't and that everyone had been very nice and accepting. He found that interesting but he didn't elaborate.

"So you haven't had the same experience?" I asked him. "Like, you feel people treat you differently because you're Native American?"

"I think I was conditioned to see it so I did. It isn't so much a problem anymore, but I'm glad you haven't seen it." He said and then another funny look crossed his face. I was going to ask him about it when my cell phone buzzed.

"Do you mind if I check my phone?" I asked him. I really didn't want to be rude, but I really wanted to hear from Seth.

"No, not at all." He smiled at me.

_Hey! How's the date going?_

_Good, surprisingly. He's a funny guy and we're having a pretty good time._

_I can tell. ;)_

He can tell? I wondered how he could tell. I looked up and around the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" Gerry asked looking at me curiously. His brown eyes darted around the room following mine.

"Yeah." I said slowly. "Seth just texted me something interesting."

"What?" Gerry sounded truly interested. His long hair was pulled back into a pony tail like so many of the Quileute boys did before they phased.

"He said he could tell we were having a good time." I answered distractedly. I was texting him back.

_How can you tell?_

"You told him we were having a good time?" Gerry smiled at me. I had to return his smile because he sounded so pleased at that assessment.

"Of course I did." I responded. "We are, aren't we?" I asked.

"I know I was." He said. "I'm just glad you feel the same way." My phone buzzed again.

_You just said something that made him happy. I love it when you smile._

I looked out the window next to our table and across the street I could see my boyfriend's white teeth shining through his wide smile. I squealed.

"Gerry!" I practically yelled. "He's here!" I pointed out the window at him.

"Well go hug him, silly." Gerry urged. "I'll take care of the bill and be out in a minute." He smiled widely. I kissed him on the cheek before I realized what I was doing and fled outside and across the street to jump into the waiting arms of my wolf.

"I couldn't wait two more weeks to see you." He whispered into my ear. His heat and his breath stirred something deep within me that had fallen asleep and I crushed my lips to his. He responded in kind and I don't know how long we stood there kissing before Leah finally cleared her throat.

"I'd say get a room, but that's my baby brother and I'm still not ready for that yet." Leah teased. She looked at Gerry who had finally joined us and stuck her hand out towards him. "Hi. I'm Leah."

"I'm so sorry." I blushed. "Gerry, this is Leah Clearwater and her brother Seth. Leah, Seth, this is Gerry Pelones." I used the proper tone I knew my mother would appreciate.

"When did you guys get down here? How did you find me?" I asked. Seth had pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist to absorb his heat and his smell and his energy. I reached up for another kiss and he obliged.

"Damn, Raven." Leah said smirking at our very public display of affection. "Alice is very helpful. You know the Cullens and their gifts." Leah looked at Gerry who appeared to be a little confused, "They're very tech-savvy. They traced Raven's phone and gave us the address to put into the GPS."

"Do you want me to head home and leave you guys to catch up?" Gerry offered. I really liked him more and more. Not because he offered to leave, but he was trying to do what he thought was right. He seemed genuine and he was funny. I was going to have to admit to my mother that hanging out with him was a good idea.

"No way!" Leah said. "And leave me with the two love-birds? I'm a bitter harpy who can't stand to see other people happy. Come, Gerry, and walk with me." Leah pulled Gerry to her side and hooked her arm through his. "Tell me about life in the big city while we let these two get caught up here in this dark area of this nice little park."

Gerry looked back over his shoulder at me and smiled. "You okay?" I called after him.

"Yes. This is an interesting turn of events and I'd like to see where it goes." He replied. Leah snorted.

"Keep your pants on; it's not going anywhere too interesting." Leah said and their voices grew softer as they walked on.

Seth swept me up in his arms placing another deep and lingering kiss on my lips. We found the secluded bench that Leah mentioned and Seth sat down and I was perched on his lap. His tongue searched for mine and for a long while the only audible sounds were sighs and heavy breathing.

"How long are you here?" I whispered into his ear as he made a pleasurable assault on my neck. I took over on his neck so he could answer me.

"Just for a few hours." He breathed. "I have to run patrol in the morning." His breath hitched when I found that one spot just below his ear that drove him crazy. "Leah said I can sleep on the way home and then I have the afternoon off."

I pulled away from him as the stinging in my eyes indicated that I was about to cry. "You drove over four hours to see me just for a few hours?" My voice was heavy with emotion. This must have been the special evening that Sue told my mother about. Sue was slick and she knew just how shallow my mother was.

"I told you. I couldn't wait another two weeks." He pulled me in to a tight hug. "I just needed to feel you in my arms again. I can't imagine imprinting being more intense than this." He muttered the last bit under his breath, but I heard it.

"Come on." I climbed off his lap and pulled him up by his hand. "Let's go save Gerry from Leah and go back to my house. My mother is out on a date or an event or something; she won't be home until late. We can all go watch a movie. Gerry's a cool guy and I think it'd be cool to all hang out together." Seth smiled at me and nodded his head.

"Give me one more in the dark, though." He growled as he leaned in for an aggressive and sexy kiss that left me breathless and wanting. I slapped his chest when he released me. "What was that for? I thought that was a pretty good kiss!" He said.

"It was too good." I breathed. "Don't do that to me again unless you can back it up with something…more." Seth smirked and slapped my bum.

When we emerged from the shadows Leah and Gerry were headed back towards us. "She looks a lot happier." I remarked to Seth. "She's still snarky, but she's happy." Seth just nodded because he didn't have any time to explain it further.

"I'll explain later." He whispered in my ear. I explained my idea to Gerry and Leah, who both looked pleased to go back to my house where it was warm. Leah agreed to ride with Gerry back to my place and I rode with Seth in the Volvo they borrowed from Edward.

"So Leah's happier because she's been hooking up with Embry?" I asked in stunned disbelief.

"God, no!" He almost yelled. "Don't start that rumor or she'll neuter me!" He did truly look scared. "No, they've just been spending a lot of time together talking and hanging out. They're like the two single ones left and it's nice for them to have each other as friends." Seth explained.

"Right." I smirked. "They're totally hooking up or they will soon." I predicted.

"You know people have been saying that about us for years." Seth said as he waggled his eyebrows.

"I know." I agreed. "And look what happened." I placed me hand on his knee and slowly dragged it up higher and higher, just to see how far he'd let me get. He placed his hand on top of mine right before it would have reached questionable territory. He looked over at me and gave me a warning look. "What?" I asked innocently. "You're leaving soon, so it's not like it's going to lead anywhere." I smirked mischievously.

"I know." He said in a husky voice. "Let's not start something we can't finish."

Seth and Leah stayed for one movie where I spent most of it just reveling in the fact that I was that close to Seth again. We didn't kiss again until it was time for them to leave. And as Leah and Gerry finished their conversation on benefits and drawbacks to living on a reservation, Seth pulled me into the dark foyer. His hands roamed to new places as he kissed me deeply. I pressed into his hands relishing in their new destination. His touch, even over my clothing, left a trail of fire and set my heart racing. "Only two more weeks." He whispered in my ear and I smiled like a giggly school girl.

Gerry left soon afterward. "Thanks for a great evening." I said to him. "I really had a lot of fun with you."

"I hope that's not just because your boyfriend surprised you." He looked at the floor. I could tell he wanted some reassurance. I could give him that since he had been so cool about sharing his evening.

"No." I told him. "I had a great time with you. Thanks for being so cool when they showed up. It looked like you got along with Leah rather well." I smiled at him. "Leah doesn't get along with anyone."

"Yeah, she's quite opinionated. But I liked talking to her. It was a fun night even if it was unexpected." His eyes sparkled. "Listen, do you want to go to Powell's bookstore tomorrow? It'll make your mom happy and you can buy me a book to even out the dinner debt." He suggested with a grin.

"That sounds nice. I have some homework to finish. Want to help me with AP Physics?" I really did need the help.

"Sure. What time should I come over?" He asked.

"How about 10am?" I asked.

"See you then. I really did have a good night."

"Me, too." I said before I closed the door.

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**A/N: What do you think of Gerry?**


	12. Chapter 12--Hide and Seek

Sitting is school was torture! I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed my freedom from this place when no one taking attendance. I wish I could do what Jacob was doing and get my GED, but I was still too young to do that and then get accepted into the university that partnered up with our program. The only thing that kept me here was making Raven proud of me. I know that I should be in school for the love of learning and all that crap, but high school really just…sucks.

It doesn't help that I have to run patrols from six to midnight most nights. That leaves me about two hours to eat and get my homework done. I try really hard to stay awake during Civics, but when third period rolls around at 10:00am…I am just tired beyond belief. It's February, though, and I know I can do this for four more months. I got caught up enough to graduate on time. Raven said she would try to make it up here to see it. She said there's a good chance of it, too since she's the one who headed up the new college bound program.

Her mom seems pretty pleased with her work to get kids on the res off to college. At least I heard her bragging about it over Christmas when she was home. I can tell that she still isn't too pleased that Raven and I are stronger than ever no matter how persistent that Gerry guy is.

"I don't like him." Leah said on the way home from our impromptu visit. She was usually a great judge of character, but she was always negative. So, most of us took her assessments with a grain of salt. I couldn't find anything wrong with the guy. He seemed to be nice and funny and even respectful of my relationship with Raven. And it was true that they spent a lot of time together now. I couldn't let that bother me…too much. I knew how she felt about me and I had to trust that.

Her Christmas break was entirely too short and the separation was like a dull ache in my gut that only eased when she was near. We spent the entire two weeks together when I wasn't on patrol. Jake had given me a very light schedule that coincided when Raven's mom was home so she didn't see us together very often. Together Raven and I enrolled fifteen kids into the college-bound program, three of which were pack members. We visited each individual family explaining that the program was to strengthen the tribe by enriching tribal pride and custom with modern education and technology. There were a few who were hesitant, but a visit from the Blacks stating their endorsement of the program usually cured that.

The program ensured that we were taking the proper college bound courses, sent reminders for application deadlines, tracked enrollee's grades and attendance, and provided seminars and workshops for filling out the appropriate paperwork and applications. They were also planning a visit to the University Washington who, with the help of Bella and the rest of the Cullens, partnered with us ensuring admission if certain academic requirements were met. Bella was able to promise the University of Washington that funds, both federal and private, would be slated to the university for this particular outreach program. Bella was brilliant.

For Christmas, Bella gave Edward a brand new Volvo and this left the problem of what to do with the old Volvo. It was decided, rather quickly one morning over breakfast that I would take if off their hands for them. Who was I to deny the Cullens a favor when they asked for it? Taking gifts like this from the Cullens used to be so difficult for all of us. But the more we lived with them and protected them, the more we realized that it was just part of being in their family. And if you were linked to Jacob, you were considered family. Leah had the hardest time accepting, but she loved to drive my car. She also figured that Bella was the reason I was separated from Raven, so it was the least they could do.

The car made planning visits to Raven much easier and I got to see her almost every two weeks. After that first month, I realized that I could only stand to be away from her for about three weeks at a time…and that really pushed my limit. I'd seen her twice since Christmas break and that was humorous and not just a little awkward. Raven never told her mother I was coming and staying with them. The first time I showed up at the door and Raven let me in and at some point in the evening her mother walked through the living room where we were watching television and noticed I was there. She was polite, but it wasn't too much later that Gerry showed up. He smiled guiltily and apologized. That was fine because I still got to cuddle with Raven. I actually felt bad for the guy if he had other plans that evening.

The second time I showed up I brought Leah hoping that her mother wouldn't think I was up to no good. Ms. Qahla was very pleased to see Leah, so I figured that was a good decision. But again, Gerry was there within an hour looking apologetic as he had been summoned again. Leah hid her dislike of Gerry and offered to go pick up some takeout after Raven's mom left for the evening. That gave Raven and I two breathless hours alone. Leah claimed they got lost and Gerry looked amusedly annoyed. Leah put on the dumb girl act around Gerry and it kind of bothered me.

I was planning a special visit to see Raven on Valentine's Day. She had always called that day SAD Day or Singles Awareness Day and I really wanted to make it special now that we weren't single. Leah and Embry were supposed to ride down with me so it looked like a double date to anyone who cared. Embry was rather excited for the whole experience. Ever since our conversation about being nice to Leah they had become very good friends and everyone could see the changes in Leah. It made the whole pack dynamic change and patrol was no longer an arduous chore.

"Shut up!" Leah thought when I pondered this the other morning on patrol. She finished school right after she phased so she was in charge the morning patrols and I liked to run to school.

"Lee-Lee, it was a compliment." I thought to her. I showed her a comparison to how I saw her just a few months ago to what she was like now. "I'm just glad to see you…happier. I'm not saying Embry has everything to do with that…I'm just drawing a conclusion."

"Well, it's a dumbass conclusion. It's you, you idiot. You being happy makes me happy. Then happy me gets all chatty and Embry just listens. Then I feel stupid like I'm doing all the talking so I let him talk and he's actually pretty cool. But other than that, there's nothing going on, got it?" She used a few choice words to describe my assumptions, but there was an underlying contentment that no one had felt in her before.

"Yeah, that's because I talked to Sam a few weeks ago." She answered my thought. "I'm better because I let it go." She showed me the feeling of freedom she felt now. "It still hurts like hell, but I think I can finally move on."

"It's only been years." I couldn't hide my sarcasm and I regretted it as soon as I thought it.

"Eff you, Seth. Now that you're so head over heels for Raven, imagine her imprinting on someone and loving him the way she loves you…but more. How would you feel?" My heart ripped at her words.

"Leah, I know…you've told me this before." I just wanted her to stop because I couldn't think about it and remain sane.

"Yes, but now you _understand_ it. Damn it, Seth! I was feeling better about this!" And I was feeling like shit. I had taken her peace and destroyed my own.

"I'm sorry, Sis." I truly was. "I'm also very proud of you."

"I know you are. Just give me a little bit of credit for what I have done, please." She scolded.

"I do. I have." I felt ashamed. "I'm sorry." I thought again. I don't know if I would have handled it as well.

"I know. And good. Now, let's get plans settled for this trip to Portland on Saturday."

Valentine's Day morning Leah, Embry and I did took the morning patrol and we were going to head out in my new Volvo around noon. I was about to head back to the Cullen's when I caught the scent of an unfamiliar vampire. My ears perked up and I sent a howl out to get either Jacob's attention or Edward's.

"Who is that?" Embry asked trying to discern the scent in my mind.

"It smells vaguely familiar, but I can't place it." Leah chimed it. We all felt Jacob enter.

"Have you found Nessie?" Jacob asked and sounded anxious.

"What do you mean have we found her?" "We didn't know she was missing." "How long has she been gone?" All three of us asked as the same time while Jacob was absorbing our thoughts about the foreign vampire scent. We couldn't hear Edward but he must have been close to Jacob because we could hear his answers as he listened to our questions.

"I can't tell the scent through your memories, but if it is familiar then at least we know it's not an unknown nomad. Where are you Seth? And I'll run towards you." Edward said through Jacob. I looked around me to give Edward a sense of where I was while reviewing my path that got me here.

"We noticed Nessie was gone about thirty minutes ago but we were playing hide and seek. And she masked her scent so now we're rally baffled. We don't even know how she knew to do that." I continued to follow the scent that was growing stronger the closer we got to the meadow. Jacob noticed it too and he was headed in our direction. When we reached the meadow both scents were combined but neither Renesmee nor the unidentified vampire were present.

"Where the hell is she?" I could hear Edward's voice through the meadow. The mixing of the two scents made the very difficult to distinguish them. It was Jacob who recognized Nessie's in the mix. Jacob's anxiety was growing and was almost unbearable to the rest of us. Quill, Sam, and Jared joined the hunt. We searched and searched, but their scents seemed concentrated here. All the Cullens were gathered around the meadow as well and at one point one of them texted Raven and to tell her I wasn't going to able to make it. My unhappiness added to the mix of rising swirl of emotion that finally made Jacob release a howl that I'm pretty sure was heard all the way to Yellowstone. It was a mixture of pain and longing and dread. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and a tear roll from my eye. It was pure desperation.

As soon as Jacob's howl of agony ended Renesmee and Zafrina were sitting in the middle of the meadow staring at all of us with very confused looks on their faces. After much squealing, loud shouting, and many tears it turns out that Nessie ran into Zafrina while she was playing hide and seek with Edward and Jacob. Zafrina was on her way to surprise the Cullens and to specifically see Nessie. There was never any mal-intent on either part. Nessie got caught up in Zafrina's visions and Zafrina had masked them in case there was any danger around. Nessie was busy projecting what had been happening in her life to her Amazonian friend when she felt Jacob's pain. Confused by her friend's abrupt cessation of her tale, Zafrina dropped the shield.

Edward scolded Renesmee for being so thoughtless towards her family and Rosalie threatened to ground her from shopping trips for three months until Alice asked why she be punished for Nessie's screw-up. I was happy that Nessie was okay that there was no threat from an unknown vampire, but my first Valentine's Day with my girl was ruined. I must have whimpered because Jacob, who had phased back to human, looked over at me.

"Go, Seth. Go to Portland. I need Leah and Embry here, but go take a few days to see Raven and we'll cover you here." Jacob said it aloud. Nessie heard Jacob and her face fell at the realization that I was not half way to Portland. She ran over to me and placed her little palm on my flank and projected how sorry she was. I licked the side of her face letting her know it was okay and that I was glad she was okay.

"Seth!" Leah thought to me. "Go!" Embry chimed in. "Go man!"

"Okay! Okay!" I yelled back at them. Before I knew it I was behind the wheel of the Volvo which was already packed with my overnight bag. I thought about calling her and letting her know we'd have a little bit of time, I wanted to see her face when she opened the door. She had sent me a text telling me how sad she was I couldn't come, but to take care of my business. Alice confirmed that she was at home and I don't know whether that was a vision or checking the GPS on her phone, but I really didn't care, either.

I pulled up to her house I saw the taillights of Gerry's car turn the corner at the other end of the street. My heart dropped a little because he got to spend Valentine's Day with Raven and I running after a non-existant threat. But he was gone and I was happy. I wanted this time alone with her and I could barely stand my excitement. I pulled the flowers I bought her out of the back seat and left my bag there thinking I could come get it later. I walked up to the door and I could hear sobbing. My girl was crying. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I could hear her in there crying. Why wasn't she moving? My heart stopped and suddenly I could feel her pain. Why could I feel her pain? She was terrified and cold and in physical pain.

"Raven!" I yelled and I pounded on the door. "Raven, let me in! What's wrong?"

"Seth?" Her whimper was all I needed to give me the strength to kick in the door.

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**A/N: I plan to have the next chapter up sometime tomorrow. Thoughts? Comments? Predictions?**


	13. Chapter 13--Eyes Wide Shut

**A/N: This chapter has disturbing material. Gerry is a bastard here. You have been warned.**

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_Raven, Seth won't be able to come tonight. There's been a little issue. I'll have him text you or call you when he can. Don't worry, he's alright. He's trailing an unfamiliar scent. I am so sorry. –Bells_

My heart sank. I had been looking forward to tonight for so long. I know how much effort Seth put into planning it, because Leah texted me to make sure I show the proper amount of appreciation. So, I couldn't be mad at Seth, he was only doing his job and I know that dating a pack member means sacrifice like this. I just wanted to spend one Valentine's Day as part of a couple. Well, technically I was still part of a couple…it was just long distance. Still I didn't want to be alone tonight. Gerry had been hinting around all week about doing something tonight. I never really told him Seth was coming up…just that I had plans.

My mom came bustling in getting ready for her 'non-date'. "Any plans tonight, Raven?" She smelled like Black Pearls, her favorite cologne and her skirt was just a little shorter than she normally wore.

"Nope." I answered. I was glad I didn't tell her about any possible plans or she'd turn that into another reason that Seth wasn't good enough for me. "You look nice." I told her. She did, I might as well say it.

"Thank you, Sweetie." She said. "What's Gerry doing tonight? Maybe you can hang out with him." I hated it when she called me sweetie. It was always followed with something negative.

"I don't know. I was thinking about calling him." I sounded a little sadder than I intended to, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry that Seth couldn't make it." She tried to sympathize. "But you when you don't have the resources…"

"Mom, please don't." I looked at her and she must have seen something truly sad in my eyes because she actually stopped.

"Well, I hope you have a good night no matter what you do." She smiled weakly at me.

"Thanks." I responded dully. "You, too." She left without another word. It always amazed me that she dated men who looked one way but treated her like crap. The ones that treated her well she had no use for. At least she was teaching me what not to do by example. This guy wouldn't even come pick her up at the house; she always had to meet him at their destination. Curious that Gerry was always able to come over.

_Hey! Can I take you up on your offer for company tonight? _

_Sure! I'm bored as hell. Do you want to go out somewhere?_

_No. It'll be too crowded everywhere. Let's just hang over here. I have pizza rolls and ding dongs._

_Sounds great. Be over in a few! Thanks Rave!_

I didn't want to go out and be reminded that I was not out with my boyfriend. And, I hated it when he called me Rave. It was creepy and too familiar and it made me sound like an ecstasy driven party. He seemed to be taking a few too many liberties lately. It was all stuff that Seth and I used to do before he kissed me, but it took Seth and I a decade to get to that level of familiarity. I had only known Gerry a few months.

I guess he could be considered my best friend here in Portland. He helped me with AP Physics, we saw movies together almost every weekend and it seemed the more time I spent with him, the happier my mom was. I changed into my PJs so I could comfortable; there was no need to impress Gerry.

"Hey, Rave." Gerry said as I opened the door. He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. I'd never seen him so casual. He was very tall, though not as tall as my wolves and not nearly as built, but he played soccer for the school team and he kept in good shape. "What's on the movie agenda tonight?" He asked as he came in and plopped himself in the middle of the couch. That meant I would have to sit really close to him or choose the recliner which he knew I hated. We had the conversation last week about how my mother always made me sit in it when she was home so I always sat on the couch while she was gone.

"You choose the movie tonight." I told him and then went to the kitchen to get the snacks.

"Okay." He said in a strange voice. Maybe he'd scoot over by the time I got back out there.

My aversion to the recliner seems silly even to myself, but Gerry had a predatory air about him tonight that already had my skin crawling. I thought maybe I was just edgy about Seth canceling on me and I decided that it wouldn't be fair to take that out on Gerry. So, I plastered a smile on my face and brought in a tray with assorted snacks and drinks for both of us. He was sitting in the middle of the couch again and he patted the cushion right next to him. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Come on, it's Valentine's Day. Sit by me and let me pretend." Gerry beckoned. I didn't like it

"I can't let you do that." I said. I hated that it finally came to this. "You know how I feel about Seth. If I let you pretend that would just be cruel. I'm not that person."

He smiled and scooted over a little so that we could both sit with space between us. "Alright. I know you're not that person." He smirked though. He was still making my skin crawl. I really wanted Seth here. Was I turning into one of those stupid girls my mom accused me becoming? I swallowed my feelings and sat down.

"What'd you choose?" I asked him trying to change the subject.

"Eyes Wide Shut." He said as he waggled his eyebrows at me. My mom was the Tom Cruise fan in the house though I had seen the movie before. I was put off both by Gerry's choice of movie and by his leer. Again, I swallowed those feelings.

"That's a very interesting choice for this evening, I think." I stated matter-of-factly.

"It's in your video library." He remarked. I sat down putting as much space between us as possible.

"Yes, but not all the movies are mine. My mother does live here, too." I reminded him.

"Yes, she seems to be a little more open to things than you are." He smirked at me again. Again, I got that really creepy feeling accompanied by chills that ran down my spine. "Kubrick is a genius." He added.

"I have to disagree with you there. I think he thought he was a genius, but I did let you choose." I acquiesced and hit play since Gerry had already put the disc into the player.

"People who say that don't understand him." He opined. The movie started then and I just shut up. He seemed hell bent on putting me in my place and I didn't really want to argue about it. In fact I was regretting my decision to invite him over.

We watched the movie in relative silence except when he felt the need to explain to me the symbolism behind all Kubrick's directorial decisions. I noticed him edging closer to me, but not how close until he placed his hand on my knee and ran it up my thigh. I was rather uncomfortable with the images on the screen already and his hand made me leap out of my skin.

"Doesn't this movie get you hot?" He asked leaning into my ear. I jerked away, shocked.

"No." I was starting to feel a little scared. "Gerry what are you doing?" I got up to move away from him and he caught my wrist and yanked me to the floor. I hit my head with a thump and vaguely hoped he hadn't seen A Clockwork Orange.

"Ow. Gerry." I said in a serious voice as he climbed on top of me. "Stop. I mean it."

"Do you?" He asked in a mocking tone. "What are you going to do about it?" He was leaning into me so that I couldn't move anything. His elbows rested on the floor just under my upper arms and his forearms pinned my upper body. The bulk of his weight rested on my thighs and he spread himself out so I could feel him…all of him…press into me. This was not the playful wrestling that Seth I engaged in and fear rippled through me and I uselessly struggled against his weight.

"Raven, it's time for you to stop it." His face lingered inches from mine and his tone was menacing. "I've been very patient with you. You're a little cock-tease and I'll be damned if you tell me no tonight."

I was scared. How had I teased him? When have I ever given him the impression that I wanted anything more from him than friendship? He began moving his hips and closed his eyes as he pleasured himself on me. My body began to shake and I wracked my brain for anything I could remember on how to handle this situation. It was completely blank.

"Gerry…" I gasped. "Please stop. I don't…I didn't…" His laugh halted my pleas. Then he mocked me by doing a childish, girlish impersonation of me. He pulled my arms together above my head and clasped them in one of his, freeing up the other to reach under my shirt. I gasped when he squeezed hard and I could feel the bruises instantly.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked still gasping with pain from his powerful kneading.

"Well," He said was he raised my shirt and bra up to my armpits so he could look at what he was doing. "I call it education." He lowered his head and sucked at my flesh. I knew he was marking me. My mind cleared a bit. The more he marked me the more evidence there would be against him.

"I figure," he continued, "That a 'robust' girl like you won't get many chances to be in this situation. And it looks like your poooooor Seth either dumped your fat ass or he can't afford to come down here to give you the education himself." His hand was still kneading my breast roughly and he picked up the pace with his hip thrusts. He adjusted a little so that instead of rubbing on my hip, he was actually correctly aligned with my body that began responding to the friction. He noticed.

"See." he said as he bit my exposed breast. "Ready and waiting for me. I think these are your best features." He was being way too rough for what he was doing with his hands and his mouth to be stimulating, but his hip movements had me breathing heavily. The flush of embarrassment stained my cheeks crimson; I was appalled that my body could react this way in such a situation. I was scared; no I was terrified not only because I knew he meant to finish the job, but also that there were spikes of pleasure that coursed through every now and then. His free hand reached down in between us and his palm rubbed my most intimate area. He grinned at my gasp, but he misinterpreted it.

I was angry now. No one had touched me there. No one. But, I was powerless at that moment to stop what was happening to me and I was angry that he thought he thought he could. I struggled, but his grip on my wrists tightened and he left another mark on my stomach that was very painful. He promised to do it again if I kept it up. "If you keep fighting I'll know you like pain and I'll oblige." He whispered hovering just millimeters above my skin. I was lucky so far that he hadn't tried to kiss me.

"You really think taking this from me is going to endear you to me?" I asked through gritted teeth. He had managed to get my pants and underwear down to my knees and my exposed vulnerability made me desperate. I was embarrassed and hurt and ashamed. How had I let myself get into this situation?

"No. I'm done being Mr. Nice-guy and second-choice/babysitter to your poor reservation loser. I know that I'll never compete with Seth in your puny little brain, so I'll spoil the fruit before he can take a bite." His pants were down now and I realized that any struggle now would only hinder my cause and help his. Tears leaked from my eyes as his words sank into my heart. Then the phone rang. "Do you think that's your non-lover boy calling? You can tell him what you were doing when he was trying to call you." Another ring.

"How do you know he hasn't tried the fruit?" I tried to keep him occupied by talking, but his words caused more damage to my heart than the tearing of his initial thrust did to my body. I screamed as the phone rang again.

"I know because of your fat ass in your dumpy clothes." He thrust again. "I know because you make him watch endless drivel on TV and read endless books that his moronic brain can't possibly understand" He thrust again in time with the rings of the telephone. "I know because he stood you up tonight; you're not pleasing him the way you should." He almost sang the last part as he thrust again. The phone rang for the sixth time and then the answering machine picked up.

"Hello, we're not available so leave a detailed message at the tone and we'll promptly return your call." My mother's stoic and business-like voice instructed from the kitchen. No one ever called the land line and I was surprised that the machine was actually hooked up. He thrust again and I screamed one more time as I heard Alice's voice fill the room.

"You better get off her right now or it will be the last thing you ever do." Fear filled Gerry's eyes and he released my wrists so he could prop himself up and sit back on his heels. "You better run Geronimo, but we're still going to find you." I took that opportunity to sit myself up and ram the heel of my hand into his nose. He screamed in pain as he pulled his pants back up and he ran out of the house. I heard his car pull away and speed down the street.

There was no stopping the tears followed what had just happened to me. I just lay sobbing in the middle of the floor too weak to even adjust my clothing back to where it should be. That's when I heard the knock at the door. I sobbed even harder as the options of who it could be flashed through my mind: Alice, Emmett, my mom…

"Raven! Raven let me in! What's wrong?" I heard Seth call. There had never been a sweeter sound than his voice behind that door. But the horror of having him find my like this washed over me at the same time. What if Gerry was right? What is Seth wouldn't want me after this?

"Seth?" I called right before I heard the loud crash of the door hitting the wall behind it. I knew he'd be able to smell what went on here and I was so ashamed as I panted with my own stimulation. I still didn't have enough energy to move to cover myself up. Seth was to me in three steps. He gasped when he saw me.

"Oh, my God! Raven! Oh, my God!" He wept. He was crying. Was he so ashamed of me that he had to cry? He gently pulled my pants up to my waist and tugged my shirt and bra back in place the best he could without touching me. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I wasn't here!" He lifted me and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Please don't hate me." I sobbed. "Please don't hate. I can deal with it if you don't hate me." He breathed into my neck and gave me every reassurance that that would never be the case. Seth's cell phone rang. He reached for his phone without letting go of me.

"Alice!" I heard him say. The phone was so close to my own ear I could hear Alice's end of the conversation, too.

"I can't see anymore because you're there. Carlisle is on his way. He'll be there in about three minutes with Rosalie, Edward, and Jasper."

"Alice! What happened?" I felt Seth's whole frame begin to shake. "Alice I found her crying half naked on the floor!" He exclaimed.

"What do you think happened, Seth?" Alice asked in a defeated voice. "You know what happened and you know who did it. But remember not to phase while you're holding Raven. She needs _you_, Seth. Not your wolf." Alice chided. "Let us worry about everything else." Her voice was full of venom as the tinkling of her voice turned acidic.

"Okay." Seth said. I felt him take a deep breath. All I could do was sob and cling to him. I felt him lift me and he carried me to my room and tried to lay me on my bed. I refused to let go of him. He was warm and safe and if I was here in his arms I didn't have to think about what happened to me. "Raven, I won't leave you. Let go of my neck."

"No." I sobbed. I couldn't bring myself to let go. So he just held me tighter and sat with me on the bed.

"Raven, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't here." His tears mixed with mine as he sat rocking me back and forth. Carlisle and Rosalie entered my room and a wave of calm hit me. Jasper must be somewhere close. I loosened my arms that were wrapped tightly around Seth just a bit and I heard him exhale with relief. I wasn't sure if Jasper was helping him too, or if I was holding on to him too tightly.

"Raven," Dr. Cullen began, "can I take a look at what happened to you?" The tears that ceased when Jasper soothed me began to flow again and I shook my head. I didn't want anyone to see what had happened to me. I didn't want Seth to see and I didn't want him to leave me. I wouldn't survive if he left me, I was sure of it.

Rosalie stepped forward, her golden eyes wide and full of empathy. "Raven you have to let Carlisle see." Her voice was calm and soothing and I felt Seth's big palm cup my cheek as my neck lost its strength to hold up my head. "I know what you've been through." She knelt in front of me and took my wet hands into her cold stone hands. "I've not only endured it, but I've thrived afterwards and Carlisle is the reason. He knows what he's doing and he won't hurt you anymore." She promised.

Seth's lips were at my ears. "Baby, let him do this so we can get the bastard. We're going to have to document it, right Doc?" Seth asked Dr. Cullen. Dr. Cullen nodded.

"That's right. Seth can stay if you like." I didn't know what to think about that. I knew I couldn't do it if he wasn't there, but I didn't think he would be able to see what Gerry did to my body without phasing.

Edward's voice came from the doorway. "Jasper can keep him calm enough to not phase. We already know he has very strong control over his anger with Jasper's help." Then it dawned on me that I could get all this done in one shot. Edward could read my mind and see the images while I told my story. Vampires have perfect recall and they could help me write the reports without reliving it over and over again.

"That's a great idea, Raven. And Seth needs to hear it, too." Edward agreed.

I looked up at Seth who looked confused by Edward's answer to my unspoken thoughts. "I can tell the story while Dr. Cullen is examining me and Edward can both hear it and see it. Then I'll only have to do it once." His arms tightened around me. "Do you think you can stand to hear it without phasing?" I asked.

"If Jasper helps me. Yes." He said quietly. He kissed the top of my head and I felt his tears fall in my hair.

"I can help you." Was Jasper's only reply.

"Rosalie, this happened to you?" I asked her looking back at her beautiful form.

She closed her amber eyes and her brows knitted together. "Yes, but there were seven men." She whispered. My heart nearly stopped. I know what I was feeling and I couldn't even imagine it compounded.

"Rosalie!" Edward hissed.

"No!" I said. "I needed to hear that! If she can be this strong woman before me after seven men did this to her…I can do this. I can." I found my anger again. It didn't erase the shame and guilt and pain, but it did strengthen my resolve.

"What do I need to do, Doc?"

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**A/N: Please tell me your thoughts. This is the most disturbing material I have ever written. I don't want to be too explicit, but I don't want to be too elementary either. Tell me what you think of the portrayal Gerry's actions (Not what you feel about them…rape is ALWAYS appalling) but how I depicted them. Let me know if you have any suggestions for improvement. Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14--Kristy are you doing okay?

**A/N: Lyrics are from ****_Kristy are you doing okay?_**** by The Offspring. I still don't like Raven's mom…**

* * *

_Oh, clouds of time  
Seem to rain on innocence left behind  
It never goes away_

I don't deserve her. That's what I kept thinking over and over again until Edward told me to knock it off. I guess I was driving him crazy with it.

"You don't. But none of really deserve who we've ended up with." He smirked and Jasper nodded. "All we can do is endeavor to do so. And this has nothing to do with it." Edward said.

I was glad he was there, though. He continually corrected Raven's thoughts of shame and self-doubt. He did so gently, reminding her that this was an act of force and she fought it. She wouldn't let go of me. Dr. Cullen needed her to change into a hospital gown that he brought along, and Rosalie helped her do that. But that short ninety seconds was the only time she allowed our contact to be broken.

I could feel Jasper's soothing influence especially when the exam began. I sat behind Raven on the bed and she used me as a back rest clasping my hands tightly in hers. Dr. Cullen asked Raven how it began. She told us about the movie he chose and the things he said and how she ended up underneath him. Jasper shot another blast of soothe to me when she described hitting her head on the floor. Dr. Cullen made Raven sit forward so he could examine the back of her head. Rosalie photographed everything Carlisle touched and Raven never let go of my hands.

When Raven began to describe Gerry's assault Dr. Cullen moved the gown as she described each part as she remembered it. The rage and fury that I felt swirled in my head and heart, but my body was in control. It was almost like I could watch it without feeling it. Jasper was really good. I saw Edward nod from the corner and I noticed his hands were shaking and his lips were set in a snarl. He was seeing the events as Raven did in her head. Jasper must be helping him, too. Both Edward and Jasper asked clarifying questions as one read her mind and the other read her emotions. Never during her retelling of the whole ordeal did she release my hands. That actually reassured me. She needed me and even if I couldn't protect her from this, I could help her through it.

When Dr. Cullen examined her chest and the marks that bastard left there I tried to look away. I had not seen Raven's body without clothes and I didn't want this to be my first view. But when Carlisle read out the measurements of the many hickeys that sicko left on her breasts and abdomen I had to see. I don't know what compelled me to look, but I had to see the injuries he inflicted on my beautiful, perfect girl. Again, I registered the rage and disgust at Gerry and it only intensified my love and admiration for Raven as she relived her ordeal.

"Are those teeth marks?" I asked in a disgusted whisper. Dr. Cullen nodded.

"Seth, tell her why you asked that. She thinks you're disgusted with her." Edward said.

"And she's very ashamed and frightened about that." Jasper added.

Alarmed by this misconception I wrapped my arms around her. "No baby! I'm disgusted that he would do that anyone. He's a masochist who just wanted to hurt you! That's what I'm disgusted with. Not you. Never you. Okay? Do you understand?" I kissed her head and her temple. She sobbed once and weakly nodded.

"Technically, that makes him a sadist…" Jasper began but a look from Rosalie shut him up.

"He was trying to destroy our relationship, but we're not going to let that happen. Okay? Any disgust you hear from me is directed towards that fucking bastard and not you. Okay?" She nodded and new tears slid down her cheeks.

"He was trying to destroy us." She croaked and the she recited what he said about spoiling the fruit before I could taste it. I growled before she even finished and both Edward and Jasper had my arms pinned over my head before I realized what happened. This made Raven hyperventilate.

"Let him go! Let him go! I need him!" All my rage was sucked back to mere thoughts as my arms found their home around Raven's body again. Raven's breathing returned to normal and Jasper and Edward looked at each other with complete looks of bafflement.

"I have no idea." Edward answered Jasper's unspoken question. "You didn't soothe him?" Jasper shook his head. "Wow."

"Raven, I'm afraid we're about to begin the difficult part of the exam with the very difficult questions. Seth may remain in here if you need him, but you'll have to scoot forward to the end of the bed." My Raven nodded. "Rosalie will continue to photograph your injuries if you have no objections."

"It's not my best side, but do what you gotta do." Raven said and I had to laugh. It wasn't a bark of a laugh like she usually elicits from me. It was low chuckle and she noticed my frame shaking, but it wasn't the kind that precedes a phase. She turned her face to me and gave me a small smile. "I can do this if you're with me."

I smiled back at her. "Can I kiss you?" I didn't know if that would help or hurt, but I had this overwhelming urge to show her how much I loved her strength and courage.

"Always." She breathed. So I leaned down and gave her a brief and chaste, but very sincere kiss. "So, you still want me." It was a statement, but the inflection was British so it was asking a question.

"Always." I replied. "Now let the Doctor do his work. Sometimes I think he has a Tardis he gets places so fast." I wondered how they did get here so fast, but now was not the time to ask. She smiled again and scooted down towards the end of the bed where Dr. Cullen had set up two contraptions that Raven rested her legs in. She let go of my hands to cover herself while she was in such an awkward and vulnerable position. Edward and Jasper stood behind me so they could not see what Carlisle was doing, but were close in case I lost control. Rosalie sat next to Carlisle ready to photograph and assist him. She had already brought him many things from the kitchen and linen closet that he needed.

"Now Raven, I know how uncomfortable this kind of exam is under normal circumstances and this going to be much worse. Your pants show quite a bit of blood so you may need some stitches. It will hurt." Dr. Cullen warned.

Raven's head was in my lap and her eyes locked with mine. "I can do this." Then she moved her hands and reached for mine. We clasped each other's wrists and I leaned over to kiss her lightly again. She never took her eyes off of me while they were open. There were a few times that she winced in pain at both the answers to the questions he asked as well as his ministrations. But Dr. Cullen's voice was always soothing and kind and could urge the most sensitive information from her.

"I can't assume the answer to this question and I must ask it." Dr. Cullen began. "You are a virgin, Raven?"

"I was." She whimpered still looking at me. I leaned down and kissed her nose.

"You still are." The chorus came from everyone in the room including myself. Tears streamed from her eyes into her hair as that was music to her ears.

"Well, I have good news." Carlisle smiled at Raven. "First of all, you won't need stitches. You will be sore for a few weeks, but I'll prescribe something for that. Secondly, there is no semen. Apparently Alice's phone call interrupted the act before he ejaculated so there is no chance of pregnancy."

I hadn't even considered that possibility and I could tell by the look on Raven's face that she hadn't either. Her face went from the discomfort of the exam to intense fear to relief so quickly it made my head spin. My emotions did that same.

"I'm finished here. I'm going to let Rosalie help you change into something warmer and more comfortable while the boys and I go out and discuss the best way to tell your mother."

"You're going to tell my mother?" Raven asked panic lacing her voice.

"Yes." I said. "She's going to need to know what kind of monster she was pushing you towards and why I'm not leaving your side until you're ready." She seemed to take that in and the panic in her cedar eyes solidified into a hard resolve.

"Okay." She replied with a new firmness.

"Alice will be here in a few hours and she's bringing Zefrina and Emmett with her." Jasper smirked. "This could get fun." He said rubbing his hands together. Raven was not listening as she was trying to sit up so she could get dressed.

"Be good, boys." Carlisle chided as he stood and beckoned Edward, Jasper, and me to follow him.

"Can Seth stay?" Raven asked Carlisle. He shrugged and she looked back at me.

"As you wish." I replied and she smirked at the reference. I could see concern cross Carlisle's face but it was just a flash and then it was gone.

"I'm going to give you a shot of antibiotics to help prevent infection and then I'm going to give you a sedative so that you'll sleep deeply and hopefully stay in stage four sleep where you won't dream." Dr. Cullen explained. "I need your body to relax and heal from all your injuries. It will do your mind some good, too." He smiled sympathetically. "You've been very brave, Raven."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen, for everything!" Raven exclaimed. "I don't know how you got here so quickly or even why, but I'm glad you did."

"I'm glad we did, too. And call me Carlisle, please."

"Thank you, Carlisle." He nodded and left the room with Jasper and Edward so that Rosalie could help her change. They had seen most of her intimate injuries, but it was nice that once the examination was over they gave her privacy back. I helped her stand up and Rosalie removed the gown and helped her get clean, fresh clothes on. Rosalie bagged the clothes Raven was wearing and left the room with them. Raven turned back around and hugged me around my waist tightly.

"I won't need with me at all times forever, but right now I can't be away from you. I promise it won't last long just stay until I feel a little safe again." She pleaded. I kissed the top of her head.

Carlisle reentered the room and we got Raven situated in bed and I curled myself around her. He injected my girl twice and immediately her eyes began to droop. "I won't leave you, I promise." She sighed in relief and nodded off to sleep.

"I hope she's right and her dependence on you doesn't last long." Carlisle fretted.

"Give it some time, Doc. I've never seen anyone spring back as quickly as Raven. She just needs a little bit of time. The least I can do it stay with her like she asks." Carlisle nodded and gave me a reassuring smile.

"I'll have Rosalie bring you in some food later. You must be hungry." I nodded at him. I must have dozed off because when I came to from my sleepy fog I could hear Raven's mother in the living room. She was agitated and I could hear Carlisle's calm voice trying to placate the surprised woman who just came home to a stranger in her living room.

"Ms. Qahla, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I was called here on an emergency."

"An emergency? All the way from Forks?" She asked a little hysterical, but trying to compose herself. I thought about getting up to go to the living room, but I promised Raven I would not leave her. I wasn't about to break my promise to her.

"I was in Portland at a medical convention when my daughter-in-law called me to inform me what happened to her brother's girlfriend I felt compelled to come do what I could."

"I still don't understand and you have no right to be in my home." Raven's mom spat.

"Ms. Qahla, your daughter was raped this evening. I came to tend to her many and various injuries and collect the evidence that will be sent to the crime lab." Carlisle explained. Raven's mom inhaled sharply.

"I didn't think Seth was coming into town." Her voice was full of anger. "So he did this to my daughter?" Me? She thought I did this? Damn her!

"No, Ms. Qahla, he did not." His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it that I have only ever heard him use when we met with the Volturi in the meadow and his whole family was being threatened. "Some boy named Gerry did. Seth is the one who found her and he called his sister not knowing what to do."

"How is Leah connected to you?" She asked.

"Please sit, Ms. Qahla, you're looking very pale." Carlisle insisted. Damn he was so polite to this bitch!

"As I'm sure you are aware, my daughter-in-law is Bella Cullen formally Bella Swan. She is the daughter of Chief Swan in Forks and he recently married Sue Clearwater. Bella and Seth are very close since both he and his sister, Leah, work for our family's corporation. It was Bella and not Leah who phoned me." Carlisle explained. "Seth had plans to be here earlier today, but his assignment took longer than expected and cancelled his plans with Raven. When he finished we all encouraged him to drive down to surprise her." Damn he made me sound like a responsible young man. My respect for him grew…he wasn't even lying. I had never considered what we did as patrol in that light before. "When he got here, he found Raven in a state of undress. He saw Gerry driving away but didn't think about it until he found your daughter crumpled on the floor sobbing uncontrollably." The hard edge in his voice returned when he described how I found Raven.

"Where is she now?" Finally her voice sounded soft, worried, and caring.

"I gave her a sedative and she is asleep. Seth is with her." He replied. I heard the car pull up outside with Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie and another that must have carried Emmett, Alice, and Zefrina. They stayed outside, but I was sure they could hear all that was being said.

"You left her in a room with a man after something like this?" She asked with tension rising in her voice.

"She insisted." Carlisle explained. "She wouldn't let him leave during the exam, either. He seems to have a very calming and strengthening influence on her. She wasn't going to let me do the exam or even tell you about any of this until Seth encouraged her. He promised her vehemently that he would not leave her, not even while she was sleeping. I would not force him to break that promise. Her emotional state is very tenuous right now and Seth's presence seems to stabilize her. My other son Jasper was here and he is a certified psychologist. He agrees that Seth should indulge her for the time being."

"Don't you have a talented family?" She asked sardonically and her tone dripped with envy. I heard Edward directing Carlisle's words according to her thoughts.

"Power, education, and money intimidate her. Show her we have these things and she'll do what we want." Edward said from outside. Vampire hearing really comes in handy when plotting I decided.

"Yes. I do." He agreed. "And Bella's husband is in his second year of law school even though he only graduated high school three years ago. I haven't even mentioned my other children. They are all precocious, gifted, and extremely loyal to those whom they love. Raven has carved out a place in our family not only as Seth's girlfriend, but through her extensive work to help those on the reservation better their lives. Whatever resources we have available are hers to utilize to exact justice from anyone who has harmed her in any way." The edge in his voice rang out through the house and the threat hung in the air as Raven's mother absorbed his meaning. "And I assure you that our pockets are very deep."

"So she means to press charges?" She asked in a tone laced with fear.

"Damn it!" Edward said. "She's worried about how that will affect her relationship with the bastard's father. Can you believe that?"

"Carlisle, Raven will want Gerry to seek help. Right now that's what Gerry is choosing. He's unstable, though. The visions shift a lot." Alice chimed in.

"We haven't discussed that yet with her." Carlisle said to Raven's mother. "She was quite worn out after the examination and I just wanted to let her sleep."

"So can you tell me what happened?" She asked Carlisle.

"Tell her to ask Raven herself. They have a lot of healing to do together." Jasper urged to Carlisle. "She has many superficial thoughts and feelings, but there is also regret, remorse, and longing."

"You will have to ask Raven yourself. It's her story and she may need to tell you herself. She has a lot of guilt and shame associated with it and much of it has to do with what you think of her. You need to prepare yourself to affirm the correct feelings and not the guilt or shame. She did not cause this and she must know that you know and believe that." Carlisle warned.

"Well, I am certainly glad that you and your talented family were available to my daughter." She said almost sincerely. "Can I offer you something?" She asked.

"Carlisle, I see her kicking us all out of her house…which means Seth left for some reason." Alice said.

"No thank you." Carlisle responded. "My children will be returning soon to check on Raven and bring Seth some food since he has not eaten in quite a while. As long as you allow us access to her I see no need to remove her from your custody to a hospital." Again his voice had an edge. "Jasper will want to be here when she wakes and Edward wants to work on the reports to file charges and I have to examine her again."

"Well," she spluttered a little, "I don't have accommodations for all of you."

"We will require nothing other than space on your couch or chairs in Raven's room. We will feed ourselves and we have hotel rooms here in Portland already. We probably won't all be here at once." There was a softer air to his voice and I could tell he was flashing her with that dazzling smile of his that made all the nurses and women on the reservation swoon.

"That did it, Carlisle." Alice chirped. "Let's go in and she how she reacts to Zefrina." Zefrina chuckled.

"Can I give her a vision? I already don't like her." Zefrina said in her accented, but fluent English.

"We'll see." Jasper said.

* * *

**A/N: As it stands right now 43 people have read chapter 13 since I posted it yesterday and no one posted a review. I don't know if any of you write fics, but if you do you should understand how discouraging that is. I keep writing because something is compelling me to write this story that was originally going end after Seth kissed Raven…but nothing from anyone? Really?**


	15. Chapter 15--Twining

**A/N: To those of you who reviewed and PMed me, thank you. It did mean a lot to me and one reader even helped me understand why there aren't more reviews that I had not considered before. There was much joy each time my phone tweeted at me indicating a new email alerting me to lovely messages. **

**This healing process I'm putting Raven through is extremely accelerated due to the gifts of the Cullens. I have not been a victim of such violence, but I have spoken extensively with those who have been. The most crippling aspect, I am told, is the shame they feel. Often times that shame is triggered because their body registered pleasure even if their minds were screaming something else. That can lead victims to feel like they deserved it or did something to "ask for it". It is confusing and no one has a Jasper to help them sort through their feelings or an Edward to tell them to stop their self-doubt. And sadly, no one has an Alice to confirm that everything is going to be okay at the darkest point of their despair. Raven is very fortunate. For this portion of the story I am aiming for idealistic and not necessarily realistic. Enjoy.**

* * *

I woke up a number of times. The first time my eye lids were too heavy to open and my limbs felt like they were weighted under water. I could feel Seth behind me, though. Seth equaled safety. I could feel him breathing and fell back into the peaceful darkness.

* * *

I woke up again and my eyelids weren't as heavy and I could lift them. My side hurt and I wanted to turn over. I moved a little and I heard Seth's breathing change. I woke him up.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked in his sleepy voice.

"My side hurts and I need to flip over." I moaned. I planted my food to flip my body and pain ripped through me. Then I remembered what happened to me and why I was sore. Panic seized me and I jolted causing another burst of pain and I gasped. I felt Seth's strong arms reach under me and gently turn me over. Then he hugged me into himself.

"I'm here and you're safe." He kissed the top of my head. He shushed me and soothed me and lulled me back to sleep.

* * *

The next time I woke up I couldn't feel him. His arms weren't around me and I couldn't feel or hear him breathing. He promised he wouldn't leave me and he's gone. I couldn't get my breath. I started gasping and I tried to stand up but I couldn't find the strength. I just couldn't get enough air. I heard the toilet flush and Seth emerged from the bathroom. When he saw me, and how agitated I was, he ran to me and scooped me up peppering me with kisses.

"I'm sorry." He said between kisses. "I just couldn't hold it any longer." The relief that flooded through me actually made me giggle. I looked up and Rosalie, Carlisle, and Jasper were standing in the doorway looking anxious. That made me laugh harder and it felt so good to laugh I did it some more. All these people were here for me and a feeling of gratitude overwhelmed me and I started crying.

"Raven, I'm sorry! What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Seth grew very agitated. When I started laughing and crying together I got the hiccups which made Rosalie and Carlisle start laughing and Jasper just nodded and smiled. "What the hell?" Seth said, but I could hear the smile in his voice that came with relief. He didn't understand what was going on, but he knew it was light hearted.

Jasper must have sensed my confusion and clarified. "She's grateful…that made her cry. I'm assuming what made her giggle was how silly she felt for overreacting at your…absence." Jasper smiled. I nodded.

"Thank you all." I said through happy tears. "I don't know what I would have done if you guys weren't here." I didn't want to think about it so I didn't. I didn't have to. There was a murmur of love and welcomes. "What time is it?" I asked abruptly.

"It's about 5am." Carlisle reported. "Your mother came home about three hours ago and she has been informed of the situation and circumstances." I tensed at this information.

"How did she react?" I asked tentatively. I really didn't know how she would take the information. I'm glad that I didn't have to break the initial news because I wouldn't have been able to take her rejection if she didn't believe me. I'm glad I didn't have to think about the 'what-ifs'.

"She…well…" Carlisle was at a loss for words. Rosalie wasn't though.

"To be honest, she wasn't very nice and I'm glad we fielded that for you. Her first conclusion was that Seth did it to you and then when Carlisle revealed that it was that Gerry asshole she considered how that would affect her relationship with his father." Rosalie sneered.

"Rosalie, she probably didn't need to hear that quite so bluntly." Carlisle chided.

"That doesn't surprise me." I sighed.

"It doesn't?" Jasper asked. "It doesn't." He stated. "But Raven, she wants to understand. I do feel guilt and longing coming from her. Alice has been working on scenarios all night for when you talk to her...but..."

"But what?" I asked, confused and just a little scared.

"She can't see because you're always with Seth." Jasper explained. I sighed with relief.

"Where is Alice?" I looked around. "And Edward?"

"Alice, Edward, Emmett , and Zefrina went to book us some hotel rooms so Carlisle isn't a liar." Rosalie explained. "They also wanted to shower and freshen up."

"Who's Zefrina?" I asked just a little confused. The next ten minutes were spent giving me Zefrina's very colorful background and information on her gift. Then Seth explained what delayed him yesterday and why he wasn't there for our special evening. I could see the guilt and remorse on his face.

"Seth," I cooed, "this isn't your fault. You were just doing your job and I know that's part of the deal when I date a pack member." I reached up and touched his face and planted a kiss on his face.

"It is my fault and I hope you can forgive me." I was startled by the soft but strange voice of the beautiful, wild, and dark woman who was standing in my doorway. "I was the one who distracted Nessie and caused the frantic search out of my own selfishness. I should have known, by the power of the Cullen's love, that there would be hysteria if she could not be found. I thought I was doing us a good thing by hiding us. And I was wrong."

"Zefrina?" I asked. She nodded. "I'm just glad Nessie is okay." I looked around the room at all the people who came to help me through this terrible ordeal. Edward, Emmett, and Alice had also entered and the number of people made my sizable room look very small. "I'm not sure anyone could have stopped it whether it happened tonight or one of the weekends Seth wasn't supposed to be here."

"You might be right." Alice said, though her usual chirpy voice sounded sad. "He has many, many issues that we'll discuss soon." I shot Alice a questioning look and she shook her head. "Soon. Now is not the time." I shrugged.

"How did you get here so fast?" Seth asked. "I got here and Carlisle was here like five minutes later."

"I got the vision, I think, when he decided what movie to watch. I don't know if that was before or after he got here. Emmett and Edward have all their stupid little toys, so as soon as I was clear what was going to happen, Edward flew Rosalie, Jasper, and Carlisle down from the airport just outside of Forks to Portland." Alice explained. "I stayed here to wait for Emmett and Zafrina to return from hunting and we drove down in Edward's new Volvo which…" Alice smirked, "can really haul ass." Edward shook his head but smiled at the same time. "I did call once, Seth, but every time I made that decision and you answered the near future disappeared, but the distant future had a very broken Raven." Edward shuddered at the vision he saw in Alice's head.

I never really thought about what a burden Edward's gift must be. I kind of felt sorry for him. He was subjected to everyone's fantasies whether sick or silly as well as their sordid and mean thoughts. How do you do it?

"It's not always pleasant." Edward answered quietly. "I'm glad that's what you're thinking of, though. You're a tough cookie, Raven. Your thoughts could be in so many different places."

"Guys, she's not feeling anger or resentment towards anyone right now." Jasper announced. "But let's filter out to the other room so we don't wake up her mom too early."

"Jasper, can you stay for a moment?" I asked. I knew everyone would hear what I had to ask him, but I didn't want them all looking at me. Seth stayed with me and I actually wasn't sure if I wanted him there for this.

"Sure, Raven." Jasper said as he let everyone filter out and head towards the living room and kitchen. "Edward, make Seth something to eat. He's starving." Edward's crooked smile was his answer as he left the room.

When the room was empty I looked up at Seth. I was scared because I didn't know what he'd think of me after I asked Jasper my question. "Can you go help Edward?" I asked him. "Please?" I saw a pain shoot through his eyes but it faded just as fast. I didn't let go of him all night and I freaked out when he was in the bathroom and now I was asking him to leave.

"Alright." He said with a smile. He kissed the top of my head.

"I'm just embarrassed." I whispered to him. "And this gives you a chance to wash your hands." That got me chuckle and another kiss before he left me alone with Jasper.

"Jasper…umm…while Gerry was…" I blushed with embarrassment. "While he was on top of me my body…well…there were times if felt…" I didn't realize how this would change my mood so quickly. The shame and guilt flooded back in. As soon as I registered it, Jasper hit me with a shot of soothe.

"When it felt good?" He finished my sentenced. I nodded feeling very dirty.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Raven, our bodies will respond to stimuli whether we want it to or not. I almost killed Bella the same way she almost killed you. I was hungry; she smelled good when she cut her finger and I responded."

"But that implies that I wanted it." My blush deepened and I looked to the floor.

"No, Raven it doesn't. I never wanted to kill Bella. I didn't stalk her, hunt her, or chase her. Her blood produced the stimulus that set me off. I had no self-control to curb my thirst, so my brothers had to do it for me. Gerry knew of his 'thirst' for you, or his desire to overpower you, and he fed the urge with visual and audio stimuli and did what he desired, despite your will, and knowing he was wrong." Jasper's Texas accent was much more prevalent when he was explaining things. "When you were presented with a stimulus that sent completely natural pleasure spikes through your body, you felt embarrassed and ashamed and here you are seeking guidance. That shows what type of person you are…and it's a good one. It's not the physical impulses that define who we are, Raven. It's what we do with those impulses that define us. Do you understand?"

I think I did understand. "So the feeling isn't bad, but the situation was." I stated, clarifying.

He nodded. "Those feelings will come again and you'll have to decide if you are ready to act on them. The physical feeling bring powerful emotions which is why rape messes so many people up. Just remember that when you're in those situations." Jasper concluded.

I had an impulse to hug him so I did. "Thank you so much, Jasper." He hugged me back.

"You are very welcome." He responded. "Let's go get you something to eat other than pizza rolls."

I smiled back at him feeling better and then I was suddenly overwhelmed with my need for Seth. I wasn't frightened or anxious, I just wanted to be near him to let him know I was okay so I moved as quickly as I could to the kitchen past the group of vampires in my living room and into his outstretched arms. He enveloped me in his warmth and we stood hugging until Edward placed our plates on the bar.

"Jasper, do you know what Seth and Raven call it when you calm them so they can think and speak clearly?" Edward asked as Seth and I wordlessly broke apart and sat by our plates. I knew which one was Seth's because it was a huge mound of food. I chuckled and dug into my egg white omelet with bacon and onions. Jacob must have told him.

"No. What?" Jasper smiled at me.

Edward looked at me and then at Seth. "They call it a 'shot of soothe'. And they both do it separately in their minds." Carlisle entered moved to the bar and Seth took a break from shoveling food into his wide open trap.

"Well, that's what it feels like. It doesn't take away the emotion…it soothes it. I still know it's there and I can actually examine it sometimes and that to me is soothing." Seth explained and began eating again.

"That skill is impressive, Seth." Carlisle said. "Most people don't examine their anger like that even when soothed by Jasper."

"You have to when you phase so you know what sets you off." Seth said sending bits of food flying. "Sorry."

"Jacob does it, yes." Edward said thoughtfully. "Quill and Embry do it to an extent and even Leah. But I haven't seen that in Paul or Jared. Maybe Jacob models it for you and you all have subconsciously picked up on it." He mused.

"What an interesting thought, son." Carlisle commended. "What have you noticed about Seth and Raven's connection? It seems as if they're almost…" I could tell Edward and Carlisle deep in analytical mode when they began talking about us like we weren't there. I thought it was cute. I also noticed that Edward wasn't as sensitive to the thoughts of those around him when he was thinking like this. So, maybe, I thought, he can unfocus from thoughts and they become less prominent. Edward nodded at me. Ah, but he still hears. I didn't hear their conversation while I was thinking about all that though.

"Twined. It's like their twined together." Jasper concluded. "He felt what she felt last night. I didn't soothe him too often last night." Seth smirked as Jasper incorporated his new word into his vocabulary. "And even when we thought he needed help, he really didn't. It was like her need for him kept him in control."

"Yeeees." Edward stretched out the word as if the conclusion was coming to him slowly. "After I told him he wasn't good enough for her…and that none of us are good enough for our mates but we must endeavor to be…he was really trying. He reigned in his own thoughts and he even his self-doubt and self-flagellation were reigned in because he knew it wasn't going to help her."

"It's not an imprint…it feels different…but it's almost as strong." Jasper concluded. I liked that idea. I really did. I looked over at Seth who wordless held out his hand so I could place mine in it by interlocking our fingers.

"We're twined." I said. "You can't get rid of me." It felt safe and I had chosen him. I had called to him and he answered. He leaned down and rested his forehead on mine.

"Like I'd ever want to." He kissed my nose. "Are you going to finish that?" He asked pointing at my plate.

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**A/N: What do you think if Twining? I like it better than imprinting. What do you think?**


	16. Chapter 16--Running Thoughts

*****The first time I posted this, it didn't copy the first paragraph from some reason. So, if you've already read it, the first paragraph is new and that is the only change.**

**A/N: So I've written and rewritten this three times. This one finally feels right. Sorry I slowed down on the updates...T-giving break ended and I have a LOT to do before the end of the semester. Plus I just read and finished the Divergent series. That was a little time consuming as well. Well, I hope you all like this and as always, let me know what you think.**

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I had to run. I had absorbed enough shock and held so much in for Raven's sake that I had to release some of it. I felt edgy and restless as the pressure in my mind and around my heart intensified like a pressure cooker with no vent. Raven's house backed up to Forest Park and it was easy to slip into the trees and phase. It felt good to dig my claws into the cold earth and lose myself to the wolf. The pain was muted here, but I could release it. The guilt, the anguish, and the worry dulled and I was able to think a little more clearly. I knew why Jacob had run so long and so far when Bella chose Edward, I was in his head after all. But now I understood it for myself. The huff of my breath and the padding of my paws were rhythmic and soothing. I was glad no one was patrolling right now because it was nice to be away from Jasper and Edward for just a bit and be to myself. All to myself.

Raven had been asleep again for about two hours. Breakfast with the Cullens and a shower, with help from Rosalie, were just about all she could handle and she wanted to go back to sleep. She asked if I would stay with her again and I couldn't refuse her. Raven told me that she just needed me to stay with her until she fell asleep. "I won't freak out again, I promise. We're twined." She smiled at me. "I know you'll be there when I need you." I inhaled the smell of her, fresh like lavender. She trusted me even though I had failed her. What if I had been five minutes earlier? Damn it! If I wouldn't have gone through the drive thru I could have made it before Gerry…Edward stopped that train of thought for me. He's the one who suggested I go for a run.

"Good idea." I thought to him. "I do need to be alone and I need to be angry for a bit." I unwrapped myself from my beautiful, sleeping girl as gently as I could and tucked her blankets in so that she'd stay warm once my heat was gone. I set out the back door and bounded into the woods at a dead run. I counted my steps for a long while as the tedious task numbed my mind before I began to concentrate on the hard issues I knew I needed to deal with. When I heard voices on a nearby trail I realized I needed to pay a little more attention so giant wolf sightings wouldn't be reported up and down the Oregon and Washington coasts. I headed straight up the side of the mountain with the idea that I would see fewer people the further up I ran.

I let my mind wander over the events of the past 24 hours and I allowed the feelings to crash through me as they came. I felt furious with Nessie and Zafrina for getting lost and making me cancel my original date. If that hadn't happened, she wouldn't have called Gerry in the first place. Though I knew it wasn't their fault, the feelings were still there. I felt angry that I spent fifteen minutes in the drive thru of the burger joint, or that I had gone to the bathroom when I stopped to get gas. If I had not wasted any time I could have prevented this. I would have been there before Gerry went too far. I was angry at Alice for not calling me and I was angry and Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward for not driving or running fast enough and end up arriving after me. I was angry as Raven's mother for pushing Gerry at Raven when she should have spent time trying to get to know me better. I was angry and I was angry with everybody. Why had so many things conspired against my Raven last night? There were so many what ifs and almosts that it seemed as if it was meant to happen…and that was stupid! I reached the zenith of the mountain I had just ascended I let out a long howl that echoed through the canyon bouncing back and forth as it hung in the air seconds after I had stopped. I was angry and it made me exhausted.

I slowed to a walk and sat back on my haunches. It was beautiful up here. The azure sky was clear splattered with patches of cottony clouds that floated in stark contrast on their canvas. Beneath me was the emerald green of the forest's trees and the moss that grows on everything from here to Seattle. It was quiet and peaceful and I realized that I couldn't be angry in this place. Who was I kidding? I couldn't stay angry at anyone for very long. I actually like that about myself and I think that was the one positive trait I had to offer Raven. No, I couldn't stay angry at anyone, especially since it was no one's fault…except Gerry. My mind retreated to the image of Raven right before I left on my run.

As I lay next to her sleeping form I studied her face. Her caramel complexion was smooth and clear and I loved the way her bottom lip was perfectly balanced with the upper one. They were full and soft and often tasted like mint and honey from her tea. I had imagined kissing them for so long, I feared the actual experience could never compare. It was better. When her almond shaped eyes were open there were flecks of gold floating in those giant pools of warm chocolate. They were inviting and comforting and they drew me in. Her face had become much more angular since she began losing weight. Her high cheek bones were more prominent narrowing to her pointed chin. I loved to kiss the tip of her nose and then the tip of her chin…back and forth. It teased her and made her a little aggressive when she finally got frustrated. And those were just the physical features that I loved; I could write a book on the other things I loved about her. She was perfect. She wasn't perfect because she was flawless, she was perfect for me. She complimented my faults balanced them with her strengths.

She was perfect for me and I needed to make sure that she understood that I knew that. I needed to make sure that I showed her that this event only deepened my love for her as she demonstrated her strength and courage. I didn't want to diminish the trauma, but I didn't want her to think that I believed that the damage was irreparable. And, if I know my girl half as well as I think I do, she'll use this as a way to help others. That's just how she is. And she was mine. She was mine because she chose me and not because she was compelled to be with me.

We were twined.

I stood up and walked the length of the ridge I had climbed inhaling the wintery air, cold and sharp in my nostrils. It made my nose wet when I exhaled. From here I could see the sharp peaks of distant mountains jutting up through the trees. From far away they appear majestic, but I know up close they can be brutal and deadly to those who falter and are not careful. I could smell snow in the air crisp and clean. It reminded me of holidays and family and fun times. I marveled at the world and its blend of the beautiful and the brutal. Even the brutal things of the world can be seen as beautiful after time and weather smooths out the rough edges caused by the destructive earthquakes or promotes the new growth on the forest floor after a fire.

"I'm sorry, Seth." Jacob joined me. I didn't know how long he had been listening I was too wrapped up in my thoughts. "It sounds like you have a handle on your thoughts and emotions, kid." He complimented me.

"Yeah." I thought. "I've had Edward in my head stopping all the bad thoughts and Jasper shooting me with sooth for twelve hours straight."

"They've said that you've been doing most of it on your own. Take the credit, kid. I don't know if I could have done what you've done without killing that bastard." Jake said. "This alpha is very proud of you."

"Thanks, Jake." I saw that he had been watching my thoughts since I phased, he was just very still and very quiet. I guess Jacob had become really good at quieting his mind. "Is that an Edward thing?" I heard him chuckle.

"Yes." He thought. "I'm really going to have to control them when Nessie is older and I'm practicing in small ways now." I could almost hear the smile in his thoughts. "Look, you stay down there as long as you need to or as long as Raven needs you. We can handle things up here. With all the Cullen's gone there isn't much for traveling vamps to be drawn to so patrols are very thin and all the kids need to study for finals, anyway."

"Raven will be happy to hear that the kids are all working hard." I thought. I'll go take her some good news." Then something occurred to me. "Wait. Where's Bella and Esme?" I asked.

"They're in Seattle working on getting the college bound program up and running for applications to come in right after the holidays." I had started back down the ridge again because I didn't want to be away from Raven anymore. I was missing her a lot. It didn't take long to make it down to the bottom and back to the edge of the forest behind her house. Jake was giving me the details on where Bella and Esme were staying. I found my clothes where I left them on a rock.

"I see you're ready to be back with her again." Jacob laughed. "I want to know more about this twining thing you keep thinking about."

I snorted and agreed. "Thanks, Jacob for all your support and understanding."

"Anytime, kid." Jake returned. I phased back and got dressed and flew back into the house hoping Raven was still asleep.

She wasn't. I entered through the back door and I could hear muffled sobs coming from her bedroom and my heart dropped in my chest. She woke up to an empty bed and she thinks I've abandoned her. Shit! I rushed to her room and opened the door so hard it bounced off the wall and shut again in front of me. Had I not been so distressed it would have been funny.

I opened to door again, gently, and there Raven sat on the bed with her arms wrapped around her mother crying her shoulder.


	17. Chapter 17--Are you my mummy?

**A/N: Hello lovelies. I hope all is well as you gear up for the holidays. I have so much to grade and finals to give so here I sit writing my fanfic. I also wrote another chapter for my forgotten Hunger Games fic that I just need to edit. Why is it that I write more when I have so much to do? Weird. Here's a lot of talky talky mother/daughter goo. I remember having a relationship changing conversation with my mother...I hope Raven and Maura can hang on to it. Oh, we find out Maura is Raven's mom's name.**

**As always I'm here begging for reviews of things you like and even things you don't. Enjoy.**

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I awoke to someone pulling their fingers through my hair. I didn't quite know who, but I knew it wasn't Seth. Interestingly though, that thought didn't alarm me like waking up alone earlier did. I told him he didn't have to stay…that'd I'd be okay and I was. I faintly smelled Black Pearls so I knew it was my mother. I didn't open my eyes. I couldn't. There were too many sensitive questions running through my head that I wasn't ready to deal with the answers if they weren't the answers I needed. What did she think if me? How did she take the news? Did she think this was my fault? How would this affect her relationship? Her job? Gerry's dad was basically her boss. Did she care? My breathing must have changed because she knew I was awake.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." Her voice was so soft. I hadn't heard this tone from her since I was very young and sick. It made me brave. I let my eyelids open to sneak a look at her face. Her brown eyes drooped at the corners making look sad. But, I didn't know why she was sad and I was still scared. I feared that the delicate hope I had allowed to bloom, the hope that that she was actually concerned for me and not herself, would be false. I tried to repress my need for my mother's approval for so long, but deep down I knew that I not only needed it, I wanted it. And I didn't think I could stand her disapproval in this even if I had Seth by my side. I needed her approval and I was scared of what she could do to me emotionally.

"Mom." I croaked sleepily. I didn't know what I was going to say so I'm glad she stopped me with her shushing. She reached out to touch my face and pulled her hand back. I felt the sting of rejection and it must have shown on my face.

"I met your friends." She said in a cheery voice that was just a bit forced. "You have really charmed the Cullens. I didn't realize how talented they all were." I actually did hear some awe in her voice. "I also failed to realize that Bella Cullen is Seth's step-sister." I didn't know how to process this information. Was Seth okay with her now because he was now connected with someone wealthy? The delicate flower of hope began to wilt.

"Yeah, they were very helpful last night." I whispered groggily. "Seth had to convince me to let them help, though." I was going to play up his importance in all of this. She needed to respect the generous man that he had become and not see him as the dirty little reservation kid. Her palm found my cheek and she had such a look of concern her face that my heart leaped. The gesture looked a little forced, but it felt welcome and genuine and it gave me comfort.

"Raven, I don't know what to do." She admitted. "Or what to say." Her thumb moved across my cheek. I decided to be bold and tell her what I wanted and needed. We were never good at playing the inference game. We both knew what the other needed or wanted, but we both did just enough to say we did it, but never enough to satisfy the need or want. I hated that kind of relationship and I was just as guilty as she was. If I wanted it to change, I would have to change, too.

"I need to know that…" I trailed off because I didn't really know what I needed first or where to begin.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry I didn't see the coming. I'm sorry I didn't protect you from this." She whispered. I struggled to sit up. The pain medication must have worn off because it hurt to sit up. My face contorted and my mom became frantic. "Stop! Lay back down! Do you need Dr. Cullen?" I shook my head and moved so that I was sitting up but reclined against my headboard. Her panic was comforting to me. I didn't relish seeing her upset, but the fact that she was worried about my pain showed me that she cared. It was rain in the parched desert. I wanted my mom's concern and protection.

"I'm okay." I assured her. "I'm just very sore. Dr. Cullen said I didn't need stitches." I tried to smile at the last sentence because I thought it was good news. The grimace on her face told me it still hurt her. "How much did they tell you?" I asked, my voice weak.

"Well," She inhaled. "Dr. Cullen is very clinical and very thorough. I know the extent of your injuries and I know that Gerry did this." She looked at her hands with a little shame on her face. "I accused Seth first." She said softly. "When Dr. Cullen explained his relationship to Seth, my first thought was that he was here to cover up the incident." She was twisting her ring nervously around her finger. I suddenly felt very defensive for Seth and the Cullens. How dare she demean everything they had done for me by accusing them of trying to cover up something this terrible? It's what she'd do though; she just jumped to a conclusion based on what she'd do. That opened up a new door in my mind that gave me a different view of everything my mom and I have ever fought about.

"They wouldn't do that." My voice was harsh, but it was soft. "And it hurts that your first thought was to accuse Seth. He has been my best friend for my whole life. You left me with his parents who basically raised me while you concentrated on your career!" I exclaimed. "You have those La Push boys all wrong!" I added.

"I know I did." Her voice was raised, but it was pleading and not angry. That took me off guard. She spoke in past tense, like she had changed her mind. "When I realized that moving wasn't going to keep Seth away from you I did my own research into all those boys. And while their attendance at school was extremely poor, the older ones have all received their GEDs and the younger ones have adequate grades." I swallowed. "And, apparently they are more into community service than gym memberships. There isn't one person on the reservation that hasn't had one of those boys out there to do something for them. I know they're good kids."

I was stunned and shocked. It was almost as if she cared about me and was worried about me. "Then why…" I trailed off trying to think of all the reasons why she would try to push me towards Gerry.

"I tried to get you out of there because I didn't want you _stuck_ on the reservation. It's one thing to leave and choose to come back, but it's another thing to be there because you don't have any options. I saw Seth pulling you down into a life where you were stuck. That would only make you resent him in the end…in the long run. I know you. I know some of your dreams and I didn't want a teenage rebellion fling to turn into a marriage and three kids and you completely unable to see anything you wanted or dreamed of seeing."

"You think this is a 'rebellion' fling?" I asked her, my voice cold. I had gone numb because this was the kind of situation that hurt me the most.

"I _thought_ it was a rebellion fling. I have reconsidered." She explained. "I have also seen what your little college-bound project has done for the kids on the reservation including Seth. Even if it is a fling or a rebellion, you and he are going to get out. I can't be upset with that." She clasped my hands for emphasis. "Out of all your rebellions, your college-bound program is my favorite and the one for which I am most proud."

Again my emotions came crashing in as my mother's words astounded me. This frank and honest Maura Qahla was not the mother I had come to know in the past five years. She was proud of me…over something I did to spite her.

"Well, I got the idea when you told me that we were moving and you were going to force Seth and me to break up. We were going to have to figure out the whole college thing anyway." I smiled at her ruefully and she returned it. She bit her lip and thought for a moment.

"Raven, do you think that Seth has imprinted on you?" She said with an exacerbated sigh. It was almost as if she couldn't believe she was asking the question herself. I did not expect those words to come from her mouth…ever.

"No." I answered cautiously. "How do you know what that is?" She inhaled deeply and shook her head.

"Do you think I don't know my own tribe's history?" She asked. "Especially since you started compiling it." A look of triumph flashed through her eyes. "You're a very good writer." I smiled at the compliment.

"But imprinting is privileged information." I said. "How do you know about it?"

"I have clearance to read all tribe histories that are filed with the bureau. Chief Black has been filing them since you've been compiling them." She clarified. "Tell me you don't believe in it." She requested nervously. I gave her the most honest answer I could.

"I don't believe that Seth has imprinted on me, mom. But, I do love him. I think I always have."

She nodded and looked at me skeptically and a little hesitantly. "So you don't believe in some supernatural attraction he has to you?" I smiled inwardly at her. How had we gone from discussing what happened to me to my relationship with Seth? I guess it didn't matter if this was finally going to convince her that he was going to be around for a while.

"No. Seth and I had a very strong friendship that developed into a physical relationship." I assured her.

"Was that before or after you lost all that weight?" She asked. Her tone was careful and almost polite. She really wanted to know the answer. So despite my defensiveness, I gave her the best one I could.

"Our first kiss happened the day before you found us on the couch. So I had lost about thirty pounds. He tells me, and so does Jacob, that he has been thinking about it for much, much longer." I paused. "I'm trying very hard right now, not to be angry at that question because I want to believe…" I trailed off because I didn't want to be wrong. "I want to believe that you're concerned about me and just nit-picking Seth." I wanted to believe that she was worried about me…that perhaps all the criticisms over the years were just poor attempts to protect me.

"Sweetie, I just want to make sure that he loves you as much as you love him. I don't want his attraction to be based on your appearance when you're thin." I was still angry, but I could see a good motive there. I wanted to see a good motive.

"Mom, even if my weight loss was the reason Seth made a move on me, what would you do? It's not going to make me break up with him. He's got too many people making sure he doesn't screw this up from Sue and Bella to Jacob Black and Sam Uhley. And let's not forget Leah who has no fear discussing her disapproval of anything Seth or any other man does." My mom chuckled as she nodded her head in agreement about Leah.

"Sounds like you have a lot of people who care about you and who look out for you." She said. "That's what makes this even harder to take." She was twisting her ring again. "Can you tell me how this happened? I mean, how did you get into a position where Gerry could do this?" At that last question the fragile flower of hope died as my mother's question pulverized its limp form. She did think it was my fault. She was going to blame me. I couldn't stop the tears that flowed at her betrayal.

"So you think this is my fault?" I spat at her. "Of course I did something to make Gerry do this, right?"

"No, Raven!" She cried quickly. "No, I pushed Gerry on you because I hoped you'd be a good influence on him. He's very wild and his father has had some problems with him over the past few years." That stopped my tears. She thought I would be a good influence on Gerry? Not the other way around? "We knew that when he was with you that we could trust he wasn't in trouble."

My jaw dropped open in surprise and I was at a total loss for words. My mother trusted me with him and I was the good influence on Gerry. As I reevaluated the events of the past few months in my mind, our conversations took on different meanings.

"Sweetie, this is my fault and I am so sorry." I didn't know what to say. My mother blamed herself for this and not me. She thinks I'm a good writer. She not only researched the tribal histories she looked into my friends and discovered that they are good people. She was concerned for me and my feelings. She cared about me and she loved me. She wasn't good about communicating those feelings, but that could be worked on.

My tears came thick and fast and I latched on her and sobbed on her shoulder. She patted my back and shushed and tried to comfort me. "Mom," I whispered in her hear, "if this is what it took to get us to talk and for me to understand how much you care about me, it was worth it." I don't know why I said it but I know I meant it. I hadn't talked with my mom like that since I hit junior high. I was convinced that she didn't care about my life and what I wanted. I believed that she disapproved of everything I did and all with whom I associated. But it wasn't true. She was proud of me. She was scared for me. She was just shitty about expressing it.

I felt her hot tears on my neck. "Please don't say that." She sobbed into my neck.

"Why?" I pulled away to look at her. "If I can't find something good to come out of this, then it only makes it tragic. If Gerry gets the help he needs, if you and I fix this broken relationship we have, and I get to keep Seth with a stronger bond than I've ever had before, then we all win." I stated, trying to convince myself.

"This is where I am so glad you are so opposite of me. Your capacity for love and forgiveness is…well…astounding." She hugged me again.

I didn't hear Seth come in, but suddenly he was there. She released me as I looked up. I gave him a big smile and the relief coursed through my body.

"She understands?" He asked. I nodded. "Everything." He breathed this statement because he could feel the truth and my relief and I nodded again.

"Thank you, Seth." She whispered. "Thank you for taking care of her and calling your friends. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay."

"It's my job, Ms. Qalah." Seth said territorially as he moved to be closer to me. My mother let go of me and Seth sat down and I clambered onto his lap. I had been too long without his touch.

"Call me Maura, please." My mother looked at us, not disapprovingly, but skeptically. "You don't think you've imprinted on her, do you?" She asked Seth. I ran my palm down his back and back up under his shirt. I meant it to be comforting. He never broke eye contact with her.

"No. I have not imprinted on Raven. But I love her very deeply." He answered and kissed my temple. He was being very bold and I didn't see any of the nervousness he usually displayed around her. It was like he saw me as his now and not hers. It was almost as if his rescue of me ceded responsibility of me to him and that changed the way he spoke and dealt with her. I liked this self-assured Seth. It was possessive, but not at all smothering. I felt wanted but not limited or shackled.

"I can see that, Seth. I know I have been less than supportive of your…romantic involvement" She searched for the right words, "with Raven, but that will change. Not only has Raven made it clear to me in her words and actions that this is not going to change anytime soon, I have had a drastic change of heart towards you and your friends. I apologize for my previous judgments and hope that you can forgive me."

Speechless and dumbfounded Seth was so funny to me I giggled. I don't think my mother has ever heard me giggle.

"Now Raven, this is going to be a difficult change for me." I gave her a confused look. "This open, honest, and gregarious person you have seen for the past 15 minutes will probably not last. I will try to remember all we have said here." A tear welled in her eye. "But I am terrible about keeping emotional commitments. I need you to be patient with me." I reached over and stopped the tear in its tracks as it spilled over its dam.

"Then we'll remind each other." I said and Seth squeezed me tight.

"Hello?" Alice's voice came from the foyer. The Cullens were back.


	18. Chapter 18--Sincere and Insincerity

**A/N: Been a while. We're moving away from the incident now.**

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I didn't want to meet with him. Jasper agreed to go with me even if he had to sit downstairs in the lobby. Edward came along as well to hear what the little prick was thinking. We didn't know if we'd be able to communicate with each other while I was in the actual session, but at least those two would know if he was actually getting better. I was afraid I was going to phase and rip the bastard's head off.

"You won't need me, Seth." Jasper encouraged me. "You just need to remember what's best for Raven. When you do that, you're in control of your emotions." I'm glad he had faith in me, but I convinced him to go with me as a backup.

I let Alice dress me. "This douchebag only sees your…" she searched for polite words, "well-worn clothing and he doesn't take you seriously. I want you to appear—to him—to be the formidable young man that you are. You need to dress the part you already play." She explained. I didn't care one way or the other so I put on what she laid out for me. I actually liked the black slacks and blue-stripped button down shirt. "Don't tuck it in." She suggested. And the blue and black converse shoes she chose for my feet made me feel both comfortable and like myself.

It'd almost been six weeks and Gerry was committed to a psychiatric facility. The hospital was more like a sterile hotel. I couldn't help think that this was too nice a place for someone who, as it turns out, had assaulted a number of young women and then intimidated them into not saying anything. Of course we only found this out with the help of Alice and Edward doing informal polls at Raven's school under the guise of a doctoral research project. A sizable monetary gift may have been promised to help complete the new auditorium that was slated to be built the year after next. At any rate, it was confirmed that at least three other girls from their school had been assaulted or pressured into sex with Gerry in the past two years.

Maura spoke with Gerry's father who had been concerned about his son's behavior, but at a loss as to what to do to intervene. I knew he needed a major ass-kicking, but his father was raised by hippies from the 60s who didn't believe in enforcing rules and boundaries. It wasn't hard for Maura to finally convince him that the plan Carlisle and Edward created of placing Gerry in therapy in lieu of a court case and jail time was the best course for him. Gerry was not aware of the fact that Edward had pulled his face from the girls' memories and Jasper helped them feel confident enough to admit going on record and telling their stories. In fact, Edward suspected there were many, many more as the faces of possible girls flitted through Gerry's memories that didn't match the girls he had met. He was a deviant sexual predator.

Edward drew up the paperwork that stipulated that charges would be filed if Gerry did not complete the program to the satisfaction of a panel of doctors on which Carlisle sat. Gerry may also have been induced to the agreement by the presence of Sam, Jacob, Jared, Quill, Embry, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and a very pissed off Rosalie in his living room. Zafrina, listening outside, flashed an image of what could happen to him in prison…that might have helped Gerry make up his mind as well.

After I finally forced myself into the hospital lobby, a nurse led me to a room with two couches facing each other separated by a coffee table. An overstuffed armchair was placed at the head of the table and I imagined that was where the shrink sat. I took a seat on the couch that faced the door and waited for Gerry and whoever else was going to be here to arrive. I was on time and I was a little annoyed that I had to wait. It was finally Raven's spring break and she was waiting for me at home and I was stuck here _waiting_ on the boy who violated her. I felt Jasper hit me with some soothe and then pull away. I could faintly hear his Texas accent say, "Relax."

A nervous but athletic looking man entered the room, looked at his clipboard and then back at me. "You're not Raven Lightfoot." He said. Then thinking a moment he added, "Are you?"

"Ah, no." I answered. "I'm Seth Clearwater. I'm here for a session…I believe that is what it's called…with Gerry Pelones."

He consulted his list again. "Yes, I have Gerry down here, but I have Raven Lightfoot in a session today." His face looked anxious like my presence had thrown off his entire day and he may be sent to his room with no dinner.

"Raven said she's not coming until he talks to me first." I explained. Part of Gerry's therapy was to meet with the people he had wronged. Raven refused to go until he met with me first. She was insistent that Gerry's goal was to hurt me through her and he could only seek resolution with her after he had sought it in me. I was doing this for her benefit, not Gerry's.

The man looked confused. "I don't quite understand the connection." He admitted. He looked like he wanted to ask more, but I was sure he was bound by some law that forbade that. I thought I'd help him out.

"Raven Lightfoot is my girlfriend. She would like me to have a session with him as well." I supplied. Comprehension dawned on him. I really hoped he wasn't the real doctor treating Gerry or he'd never make it out of here.

"Ah, well. I guess that's okay." He cleared his throat. "I'll just let Dr. Pios know about the change." He closed the door behind him and I was left alone again. And, I was annoyed…again.

A few minutes later a more confident man entered the room with Gerry trailing behind him. Gerry was almost as tall as I was, but lankier. Raven told me he played soccer for the school's team. He had strength, but not mass or bulk and I could tell that people often underestimated his strength. It was clear that the guys and I were strong and tough because of our mass and size. This guy would be tenacious in a fight and no one would see that if he didn't want you to.

They put the patients in scrubs, which I didn't understand. How could they tell them apart from the staff? I guess they were color coded, but still. Why couldn't they just wear their normal clothes? Gerry had been at the hospital in Port Angeles under the care of one of Dr. Cullen's close associates. I could tell by his reaction when he first stepped in the room that he hadn't changed much. The side of his mouth tilted up in a smirk which he tried to conceal immediately. That smirk told me I needed to be in control of my emotions and not give him what he wanted which was my disgust and anger.

"Good afternoon, Seth. I'm Dr. Pios." He extended his hand to me and I shook it and sat down again before Gerry could offer me his. I wouldn't take it if he did offer it. "I see that you have changed the meeting dates on us. That's a bit unexpected, but I'm prepared for that." He assured me. I didn't quite know what needed preparation, but I guess that the kind of thing they go to college for.

"I hope it's not too much trouble." I replied. Gerry just looked at me and I returned his gaze impassively, I hoped. My anger had been on a low boil since I held Raven as she endured the physical exam. I knew what he did to her and I also knew that he wanted me to see and be disgusted. Why else would he leave all those marks? I wasn't going to tap into those feelings. Jasper may be right; I may be able to do this without his help if I can keep Raven and what she needs in the front of my mind.

"Not at all. Not at all." The doctor replied. Gerry had already taken the seat across from me and Dr. Pios sat in the chair that I suspected was for him. Gerry eyed me speculatively and I wished Edward were here to tell me what he was thinking. Suddenly I felt very offended and I wanted to bite his head off. That was followed by a complete retreat of all the offending feelings. I wondered if that was Jasper sending me a message. Almost as soon as I thought it I got a feeling of peace. So he was sending me a message. Gerry was still a scum-sucking bastard. Another shot of peace flooded me and then withdrew.

"So," Dr. Pios started, "Gerry, go ahead and begin." The doctor urged with a supportive smile. I wondered how gullible this guy was. I hoped he was a good doctor that was able to see through bullshit. Gerry cleared his throat. I noted the corner of his mouth momentarily raise up in a smug little smirk, but it was gone by the time the doctor looked up from his notes.

"Well," Gerry began, "Seth, I'm sorry for what happened to Raven." His voice was gravely and he looked at the floor in mock contrition. He wringed his hands like you see remorseful people on television do. "It was a terrible thing and I am sure she will be dealing with this for a long while…" I couldn't let him go on. He was sorry for what happened to her? He did it? He raped my girl and he phrased it like it was just some common malady that could be treated with an antibiotic. I couldn't let him see my anger, though. That's what he wanted.

"Save it, Gerry, because I don't believe you." I said flatly. The doctor peered over his glasses but kept silent. "You didn't break Raven and it is by her good graces that you are here and not in a jail somewhere." I explained to him about the other depositions from girls at his school. I informed him they have found their courage now that he was seeking help and the conditions of his stay in the hospital were determined on his success in the program. I made sure he understood that we would know, just like we did now, whether or not he was faking. I got another shot of peace. This was Jasper telling me I was on the right track. When I finished explaining to him about Dr. Cullen, there was a hard glint in Gerry's eyes that he could not hide. He knew we had him one way or another.

"I also know what you said to Raven as you ripped her open." My voice was low and controlled and didn't waver. "I want you to know that you didn't succeed in damaging the fruit. You see, Gerry, I wasn't in love with Raven's virginity so robbing her of that did not break our bond. I am in love with her strength and her character. She's stronger now and you've given her an opportunity to build her character even more. I won't thank you for what you've done, but I want you to know that it's made her stronger and it's made _"us"_ stronger." I watched at the disgusted sneer appeared on his face and the doctor scribbled notes furiously.

"So have you fucked her since I've had the pleasure? I bet she won't let you touch her." He asked breaking his repentant façade and looking truly interested in the answer like a vulture standing leering over its carrion. The simmering anger rolled through my entire frame and made my blood boil. I felt Jasper nudge me with a bit of sooth just to remind me why I was here. It was all I needed.

"From what I hear, Gerry, you didn't have much pleasure." I replied without answering his question. "There was no semen found so apparently Alice interrupted your power play." I kept my face as impassive as possible. "So you neither gave pleasure nor took pleasure from Raven. She pleases me in ways that you obviously don't understand and in ways that have nothing to do with sex. Until you do understand those things you will either be in this hospital or in a cell."

"He's right." The doctor chirped. "You've just admitted to intercourse that evening and the agreement signed by both you and your father stipulates that my notes can be used as evidence in your competency hearings." So the guy wasn't an idiot and he was interested in doing the right thing. I loved Edward for his legal background, too.

Gerry looked back and forth between the two of us. It seemed like he was trying to figure out if we knew each other or had planned this in some way. I was beginning to like this guy.

"I hope you understand that we don't need anything from you to go on with our lives and to heal from this." I continued. "But you are dependent upon a number of people who have decided to save you from a cell." I leaned forward because I felt it would be a little more intimidating. "There are conditions that you must meet and I see no proof that you are even making an attempt to meet those conditions." I looked over and gestured towards Dr. Pios who I decided was an ally. "They're not stupid, Gerry. They've been trained to know whether or not patients are sincere." The doctor merely nodded as he continued to scribble on his notepad. I stood up to leave.

"I'm done with you until you can decide to man up and admit that forcing yourself on women doesn't make you a man, it makes you a child in a man's body. You just can't stand to lose and rape is your version of an adult temper tantrum." I let a little of the disgust I felt for him show on my face. "She was already mine, Gerry, before she met you. And she wasn't mine because I forced myself on her; she gave herself freely to me. Nothing you can do or say can or will change that."

"Not even if I told you she enjoyed it?" He asked with a smirk. "I had her panting, you know." He taunted.

"You had her body responding to stimuli like one of Pavlov's dogs." I said. "That does not equate to any kind of connection or emotion."

"Spoken like a needle-dicked virgin, if you ask me." Gerry sneered.

"I didn't ask you. But these doctors are going to ask you many things. Keep giving them answers like that an you will be headed to a cell where you will hope all the men have needle dicks." He actually shifted a little at that comment. I was hoping he was remembering Zefrina's vision. I walked to Dr. Pios and shook his hand.

"Thank you, Mr. Clearwater. This has been very enlightening. We'll call you when there has been some sincere progress." He said.

"Not until then." I said to him and then left the room without even a glance back at Gerry. I closed the door softly as I left the room, careful not to show any of the anger and disgust I felt. I willed myself to walk slowly and calmly until I got outside and walked to the huge pine tree on the way to my car. I didn't think about the blow I placed in its trunk until the pain of the three broken knuckles seared into my brain. A long and harsh, gravely growl rumbled from my diaphragm as I attempted to release all the pent-up anger and odium I had just swallowed. Jasper and Edward met me at the tree.

"You did very well, Seth." Edward said in a low and calm voice as he reached for my hand examined the fingers I had just broken. "I'm glad you couldn't tell what he was thinking because you would have phased and killed him." The bones had already begun to heal, but they weren't set right and Edward's precise and abrupt jerk rebroke the first mending knuckle. I yelped. It hurt.

"How'd I do following directions?" I asked Jasper. Edward yanked on the next finger and it hurt more than the first, but I was ready for it. The pain ripped through my hand and up my arm and I had to suppress the urge to backhand Edward. He was only trying to help.

"You are a pleasure to work with." Jasper smiled at me. "You take hints like a pro." Edward caught my eye with a questioning look as he kneaded the remaining displaced joint. I nodded. I knew this one was going to hurt most.

"You better back up after this one just in case." I warned Edward. He yanked and I growled again only louder. I was right, the pain was worse, but I didn't phase. Edward stayed rooted to his spot. "I don't know whether to be offended that you don't consider me a threat or pleased that you have faith in my control." I said to Edward with a smile as I wiggled my newly set and healing knuckles.

"Leave them be for about ten minutes, will you?" Edward asked concerned. "And you should feel pleased." He finished.

"So, what did you guys pick up out here?" I asked. "I gather he's not making any positive progress."

"He was replaying the scene in his head. He was going to try to rattle you with little details, but your little speech threw him off. He's a sick puppy because he really believed that you wouldn't want Raven after he defiled her. It's rooted in his belief that women are only good for one thing and that is all they're good for." Jasper shook his head as if that confirmed exactly what he was picking up. "The part about him not giving or getting any pleasure really made him angry. He agreed that he didn't get to finish the job and he began to make plans to do just that…finish what he started so to speak." Edward explained. My hands started shaking and the anger rolled through me again. I wasn't going to let him near her if I could help it. I took a deep breath to control my anger.

"But, the doctor was impressed with you and your control. He liked your little speech about the non-sexual ways that Raven pleases you. He is sick to death of Gerry's insincerity and was looking for a reason to invoke the clause I inserted into the committal agreement and you gave him an opportunity. And you forced Gerry to verbally acknowledge he forced himself on Raven which hadn't actually admitted to, yet. The fact that you were so calm during the whole thing is what impressed him the most." Edward explained.

"That impressed me to." Jasper concurred. "The only influence I used was to send you directions which you followed."

"I'm not sending Raven into to see that bastard until he really feels remorse." I said very determinedly.

"That's not for you to decide." Edward said softly. "That's for Raven to decide. If she wants to confront him, then let her no matter what he feels or thinks. It may be good for both of them."

"How could that possibly be good for Raven?" I asked. My voice was harsh, but I sincerely wanted to know.

"Seeing Gerry as the scoundrel he is can actually help her realize that she didn't do anything wrong or lead him on in any way…that he is just an effed up piece of dirt." Jasper replied. I hadn't considered that before and I just nodded.

"Come on." I said. "I want to go see my girl. It pisses me off that I had to waste what little time I have of her break away from her to visit this asshole." And we headed off to the car to go back to La Push.

"Yes." Edward agreed. "It's time to get Bella and Raven in the same room again. You ready for that event?" He grinned at me.

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**A/N: Hey there! It's been a while, but the 2nd step's wedding reception is Saturday and then Christmas break begins. I should be updating often.**

**As always, drop me a review...good or bad.**


	19. Chapter 19--Damaged Goods

I didn't even give him time to breath when Seth pulled into my driveway. I wanted him to know how much I missed him. It had been six weeks since I was attacked and more than that since I really kissed him. When I saw Seth three weeks ago, he was almost scared to touch me because I was still healing. Well, today I was healed and I was ready to make out with my gorgeous, sweet, supportive, and wonderful boyfriend.

"Hey beautiful!" Seth said as I ran out to greet him at his silver Volvo. It was spring break at my school in Portland and I left as soon as school let out to drive to La Push. I wanted as much time as I could get with him and fortunately our breaks coincided. He wrapped his big muscular arms around me and lifted me off the ground. When he lowered me back to the ground he planted a kiss on my lips that made me weak in the knees. When we finally parted I grabbed his hand and pulled him in the front door, through the house and straight into my bedroom. That's where we stayed for almost an hour with no other verbal communication.

I was finally pleased with the way my body looked. It took a week for the soreness of Gerry's attack to subside and then I was left with insecurity and anger. Running wasn't enough for me anymore; though I was still running three to five times a week. I did a number of internet searches and found a series of exercises that really helped me vent my anger and in the process helped relieve some of my insecuritites as well. Jasper told me that many rape victims gain weight because feeling unattractive is a form of protection for them. But Gerry wanted to make me undesirable to Seth so that is where my insecurities were. I was determined to make the opposite happen because I was not going to let Gerry win. I was down to my goal weight after many long months and five weeks of intense core and strength exercises had really helped me shape and tone some areas.

"Raven…" I knew that tone of voice. He was about to stop me because I was really pushing the limits. I was in the middle of a workout when I heard his car pull up so all I was wearing was a black sports bra and black yoga pants. I ran outside without putting a tee shirt on and it was nice to see his eyes bug out of his head a little bit. With the exception of Dr. Cullen's exam, Seth had never seen that much of my skin…even at the beach. His hands were everywhere and I was loving it. He let me divest him of his shirt as well, but that was normal.

"Raven, we have to stop." He panted and for the first time I felt confident in my power to make him feel this way.

"Why?" I asked. "I don't want to stop." We lay on our sides with our legs in a tangle. His hands and fingers traced intricate patterns on my bare skin and it was driving me crazy. I loved the feel of his hands on my skin and the huskiness in his voice told me he didn't mind it either. There were a few times his hands found their way to my chest, but they didn't linger there for very long and that was very frustrating to me. I missed him and I wanted him to help me forget the feel of Gerry's hands and mouth on my body. I needed a memory of Seth touching me.

"Because I'm still not ready, Raven." Seth panted as he pulled away from me. He almost sounded irritated. He untangled our legs and sat up in the middle of the bed. He left me reeling as his sudden departure overwhelmed me with the pain of rejection. I knew I looked better, desirable even. So the only thing I could imagine is that Gerry had ruined me. Seth didn't want me because Gerry had already ruined me.

"What's wrong?" Seth asked me as his breathing regulated. He turned his body back towards me and pulled me up so I was sitting across from him.

"Nothing." I mumbled. My shoulders slumped and I knew he wouldn't believe me. I wanted him to ask me again. I knew he would if he truly didn't understand.

"Raven, look at me." He pulled my face towards his by lifting my chin with his finger. "I'm not ready for that yet." His voice was softer and it took some of the sting of rejection away. "Why are you pushing this so hard?" He knew me so well. He knew what question to ask, but he didn't know the answer. I looked into his eyes hoping he could see the answer so I didn't have to verbalize it. He just waited for me to say it out loud. Jasper had done good work by having everyone around me demand that I verbalize my fears…even if was difficult and it pissed me off.

"I need to know that you still want me after…" I let my voice trail off. I had a pretty good handle on what happened to me and I had come to terms with it. Most of the time I didn't think much about it…if I was busy…and if I wasn't with Seth. I exercised a lot and thought about how much I hated exercise; that helped, too. We hadn't had a chance to discuss anything since that last night he spent the day after it happened. I spent a lot of time figuring out what I was going to say and do when I had Seth alone again. He was ruining my plan. The look on his face was all love and concern, though and that tugged at my heart a little bit.

Seth took my hand and placed it so I could feel the hardness of his erection through his pants. "Oh, I want you." My heart dropped into my stomach. I couldn't believe he had just done that. But he didn't allow me to leave it there. He then took the same hand and kissed it and kept it clasped in both of his. "But I refuse to let Gerry Pelones dictate when I have sex with you." He pulled me closer so our foreheads were touching. "I'm not going to rush into anything because he's placed insecurities in your head. That's what he wanted to do and rushing into sex will only hurt us in the end." I knew what he said made sense and my head agreed with him. My heart even grew to love him more. But it didn't erase the pain and the rejection I felt.

"When will you be ready?" I asked in a small voice. I had insecurities before this happened to me and a few of them were resurfacing as well.

"Raven, I know this is going to sound old fashioned, and you may laugh at me for saying it, but I won't be ready until I'm married." Seth confessed. "That is something I saw in a movie a long time ago and somthing I have always wanted." He looked away for a moment and amended his statement. "Well I may be ready before then, but I'm not going to do it until then."

I frowned. He wasn't going to have sex until he was married? Did that mean I was never going to have sex with him? He looked at me and held my gaze. He seemed to see what I was thinking again.

"When I imagine it, Raven, it is always you." He smiled guiltily and flushed a little at the admission. When I pondered on what would embarrass him I realized that he has thought about us having sex. He did want me. He wanted me enough to visualize us together and he loved me enough to be in control instead of circumstances or Gerry. Tears flooded my eyes and a look of alarm crossed his face. "What?" He asked urgently. "I'm sorry I'm so silly."

"You're not silly." I shook my head. "I just love you so much. I don't know what I did to deserve you." I hugged him closely. "Sometimes I feel that you're going to realize how damaged I am and go find someone who deserves you." His face grew very serious and determined almost angry, but somehow I knew he wasn't angry at me. He pushed me back against my pillows.

"I feel the same way about you." He confessed again. He kissed me deeply and then moved down my neck. "Gerry has done nothing to tarnish you in my eyes." He kissed the place that Gerry first marked me with a hickey. "And I won't let him control us." He kissed the next place that was bruised for weeks. "Or our relationship." I realized that Seth remembered each spot that had been marred by Gerry and he was paying attention to each place. My hands rested on the back of his head and I watched as he mapped my invisible scars. When he reached my breasts that were bruised by both Gerry's mouth and hands, he kissed each spot over the top of my sports bra. It was not erotic at all, but it was so intimate. I worried during the exam, that he would always remember how I looked that day and that he would never be able to see anything else. He obviously remembered each spot, but it seemed to draw him closer to me instead of erecting a barrier.

He continued down to my bare stomach, which Gerry had not touched, and he hovered there. "But if I'm going to keep the goal I set," his lips brushed my skin as he spoke, "you can't attack me dressed like this ever again." I felt him smile just above my belly button before he kissed it. That was erotic. And just like that he had soothed all the insecurities that were floating in my brain that day. I felt him inhale and then he zerberted my belly making a very obnoxious noise. I laughed so hard I started crying again, but those were a different kind of tears.

An hour later we were in Seth's car headed towards the Cullen's house. It was time for Bella to test whether or not she could control her thirst for my blood which sang to her. I was adamant that she try again and everyone was worried. Seth placed his hand on my bouncing knee and squeezed. "Want me to take your mind off of it while we drive?" He waggled his eyebrows and slid his hand up my thigh. Something clenched deep in my gut and I smiled over at him. Then he removed his hand and asked me a question instead. I sat open-mouthed staring at him and he just winked back at me.

"So what do think makes you so damaged?" He elaborated when my look turned to confusion. "I mean, you said you were so damaged you're waiting for me to discover it and run. I think you're amazing despite many circumstances. I don't see any damage. What do you see?" His tone was curious and kind.

"Well, my mother is…was…a reforming selfish bigot who hates her own people as much as she hates white people. My father is from a different tribe and uses the excuse that my mother is a controlling bigot to not see me. I'm a little bitter about the fact that the only effort he's made in the past two years to see me was to buy me a car. I'm a know-it-all and I force British television shows down your throat. I used to be a couch potato who ate way too many ding dongs than I should, but at least they quit making them. Then, this whole thing with Gerry…" I looked at the floor of the car. "Sometimes I feel like I'm more trouble than I'm worth." Seth took my hand again and squeezed it. "I know most of it is silly, but sometimes it all piles on and all the insecurities bubble to the surface." I looked over and smiled at him. "You help calm the water though."

"Why do you think you're damaged?" I asked him remembering that he said that he felt the same way. He smiled.

"I turn into a big dog, Raven. A dog. I won't age until I stop phasing. And, I don't always understand your British television shows or the books you talk about. You deserve someone who is smart like you." I heart broke. He didn't think he was smart. What a weight to carry. He didn't even mention that his dad died when he was fifteen and his sister was crazy sometimes. I would have put those on his list, though together those things have made him into the kind and caring person I admire and love so much.

We pulled into the Cullen's circular drive and Seth parked. He had taken my mind off meeting Bella with this conversation. But I we both needed reassurance. "Seth," I began, "I don't see you as being damaged. I only see your strengths. I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"Back at you. You are the strongest person I know and what you listed as damages are what have made you strong." He leaned across the car and kissed me. "I wouldn't change a thing." I kissed him back pouring into it all my love and admiration. It wasn't heated, but long and lingering. He smiled at me when I finally pulled away. "Let's go bait a vampire."

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**A/N: This chapter was supposed to be about Raven meeting Bella and testing Bella's strength. But then this popped out. I'm not upset with it. Raven sure is randy, isn't she? **

**I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and I'll try to post the Bella/Raven showdown in a few days.**


	20. Chapter 20--The Doctor's Wisdom

**A/N: Here's a curve ball for you.**

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"That's it?" I asked my step-sister. "You're cured just like that?" Everyone was gathered around Bella, Emmett holding her shoulders. Edward was grasping one of her arms and Jacob had the other. We knew that Bella pushed her shield out so that Edward could hear her thoughts and Jasper was monitoring her moods. Renesmee, Alice, Carlisle, and Rosalie stood in front of Raven and I had her arm at her side. Alice said she could have predicted the outcome of the meeting if I could even consider not being present, but that just wasn't going to happen. I couldn't even force the thought. At any rate we all just stood there while Bella just smiled with no strain. The number of people seemed excessive now, but better to be safe than sorry, I suppose.

"Yep, that's it." Bella beamed. "I'm not going to attack her." She inhaled deeply. "She smells so delicious, but it's okay and under control, little brother." I was stunned. I looked at Edward and he chuckled at me.

"She's not lying and Jasper feels it, too." Edward said. "How?" He repeated and then answered my non-verbal question. "Much the same way I overcame my desire for her blood." He paused while he searched for words. "When I understood how much pain it would cause to succumb to my urges, I could master it. The reality of her death seriously curbed my desire for her blood." He spent a little while explaining the circumstances of his history with Bella.

"Seth, watching you endure everything the past few months…" Bella looked as if a tear could roll down her pale cheek. "…your pain and anguish, well it made me realize that I could really make this so much easier for you if I managed my thirst. While James was set on killing me, what Raven endured was just as traumatic and that has had the same effect on my thirst." Bella explained. "Raven, they've been bringing me things with your scent since I returned from Alaska. I've been trying to desensitize myself."

My brave girl stepped forward as her guard parted and allowed her to move in line with them. "I really want to hug you, but I don't want to push my luck. But please know the urge is there and accept the sentiment." Raven smiled at my step-sister.

"Noted." Bella said. "I think we should set some parameters, though, just to make sure that I'm not surprised and overwhelmed by your scent." The room relaxed and we all moved to the large sitting room where we discussed various precautions that would make things easier for all while allowing Bella and Raven to work together on their college readiness program. Jasper had some great ideas and Emmett was good about playing devil's advocate. I didn't know if that was really to help or because he just liked being a dickhead sometimes. Either way it was helpful.

I was much more at ease, but I couldn't help but notice Nessie in the corner. She looked so sad and distant. Thinking back over the memories of patrol the past few weeks I sensed Jacob's concern for her. He was worried about her moods becoming very melancholic and nothing he tried seemed to help her feel better.

"Renesmee." Edward's quiet voice attracted her attention. "Now is your chance to have your discussion with Raven." Edward's eye rested on me for a moment before they settled on his daughter. I looked over at Nessie and she looked worried, but resigned. The former discussion had digressed and since Bella seemed to have everything under control, most people had filtered out of the room to do other things. Raven turned her full attention to Bella's daughter.

"Raven," Nessie began and tears filled her eyes. Jacob pulled her into his side trying to offer her any comfort he could. "Words cannot express how sorry I am for what happened to you." She moved to the edge of the sofa and out of Jacob's embrace. She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. He seemed to understand her need to do this alone.

"Nessie…" My girl tried to sooth her but Nessie cut her off.

"It's my fault." She cried. Edward's face was a mask of pain as he heard his daughter's thoughts and Jasper silently rushed into the room to see what was happening. "If I hadn't been so selfish in my need to spend time with Zafrina, Seth wouldn't have cancelled your date. Then you wouldn't have invited Gerry over and this wouldn't' have happened to you." Nessie's small frame was wracked with sobs and Bella rushed towards her distressed little girl.

"Bella, don't." Edward said so quietly that Raven couldn't hear. "She needs to feel this." His eyes still belied the pain he felt watching his daughter endure such strong emotions. Bella heeded his suggestion, but she didn't look happy about it.

"No! Nessie! This was Gerry's fault." Raven moved to sit in front of Nessie. It reminded me of the way Rosalie knelt in front of Raven when she convinced Raven to allow Carlisle to examine her. "If it didn't happen that night, he would have tried a different night. I'm sure of it." She took Nessie's hands in her own and her voice was a cacophony of emotion. "What you did may have prompted him to act sooner, but it also ensured that Seth was there to find me. If he had chosen a different day when no one was en route and things could have so much worse. " Raven looked over at Edward who nodded back at her. "He is a very troubled boy and he has done this many, many times to many other girls. While I wish it didn't happen to me, I'm not sorry it did." Nessie's head shot up and tears continued to roll down her cheeks. I felt a swelling in my chest that I decided was a violent mixture of love and pride and Raven finished her statement.

"Besides," Raven continued, "One may tolerate a world full of demons for the sake of one angel." She looked at me. "And I have many angels." She whispered through tears.

I smirked at her and replied with my own quote. "Pain and loss define us as much as happiness and love." Raven's face split into a wide and glorious grin.

"You've been paying attention!" Raven cried.

"I told you I liked Dr. Who." I answered. Nessie smiled because she obviously understood the references. Raven's expression turned serious again.

"I suffer from this and I will for a long time." Raven's voice was resigned. "But I have many angels that those other girls do not." Raven looked around the room and realized that everyone had returned. "I have all these people in this room who have helped me through it. And with their help Gerry is also in a place where he can get some help." Raven paused and looked at me. "Hopefully." She added. I told Raven about my meeting with him earlier, but I could tell that she still had hope in his ability to change. I didn't, but I loved her ability to maintain hope.

"Nessie," Raven gathered her into her arms. "I'm going to use this to help people so don't you be sorry for one more minute…unless you refuse to learn a lesson from it." Raven's voice was light, but her look was stern.

"I have!" She cried. "I have learned. I've learned how selfish I am." She hiccupped. "I'm going to be more mindful of those around me and what they do for me." Bella had moved to Edward's side and when I looked over at them I saw their pain replaced with pride. Nessie raised her head to look at her family that surrounded her. "I'm so sorry everyone." Then she looked directly at me. "Can you ever forgive me?"

I had been irritated with Nessie on Valentine's Day when we went on the wild hybrid hunt. And I remember feeling angry at everyone for what happened to Raven. For a while I thought about Nessie in particular, but I also thought about Bella for attacking her and forcing the move in the first place. But all of that was short lived because I couldn't stay angry at people I loved for very long and no one had done anything intentionally. When she asked me that question, it caught me a little off guard, but I had an answer.

"There is nothing to forgive, Nessie." I answered. "Gerry is the douchebag here." I looked over at Alice because I could see she still felt terrible about not seeing earlier. "That goes for you, too, Alice. Gerry is the douchebag. You kept it from being worse and we are both grateful to you all." Alice gave me a weak smile, too. There was a little more discussion and then conversations veered off in to more general directions about school and plans for break.

It occurred to me that the situations Raven encountered with both Gerry and Bella were very similar. The difference was one person was hell bent on causing as much pain and destruction as possible while the other sought out ways to manage the overwhelming physical impulse. Both had the power to change and both had the potential. And, it seemed that both had the same support system as the Cullens had made every effort to give Gerry opportunities to help himself.

It was very late and I wanted to get my girl home so she could sleep. I had many plans for our spring break and she was going to need her energy for them. Plus I knew that she was going to want to get up and run in the morning. That was only a few hours away.

"Where's your mom?" I asked her on the ride back to her house.

"Why?" Her eyebrows shot up. "Are you reconsidering your vow of chastity?" Her lips curved up in a sexy smile. I had no choice but to smile back at her.

"No." My voice cracked. Damn! That hasn't happened in years. "But I do want to sleeeeep with you." Her face softened into her sweet smile. "I miss you in my arms."

"You have to be the bestest, perfectest, sweetest boyfriend ever! How did I get so lucky?" Raven asked and leaned over the console to kiss my cheek. "My mom is still in Portland until mid-week." Her mouth trailed kisses from my cheek down my neck. When I finally pulled into Raven's driveway I had a sizable hickey on my neck. I almost wrecked once while she was giving it to me I got so distracted. It confused me, though, after how Gerry had marked her.

I turned the car off and the dome light came on. Raven inspected her work. "I don't get it." She stated simply as she ran her fingers over the mark she left.

"I do." I replied back to her. "It's a way of marking your territory. Maybe because I turn into a great big dog I understand it. At least I don't pee on you." She smiled back at me. "If you go to the hospital to visit him, I would want to give you one just so he'd know where I'd been." A dark look crossed her face. "It doesn't mean I'd do it…without asking you at least." I added. "But that's the exact reason he did it to you. He wanted me to see exactly where he'd been and what he'd done to you."

"I'm going to give you another one of those before I leave next weekend." She stated firmly. "I heard Brittany and Madison talking about you at the gas station earlier today. And you" she punctuated the rest of her sentence with kisses, "are a very. Hot. Commodity." I ran my nose down hers. "And you're mine."

She said the last part in an airy voice that sounded like she didn't quite believe it. I felt the same way about her. There were times I just couldn't understand what I did to deserve her. She was my best friend. She was in love with me. She wanted me and she chose me.

"We're twined." I reminded her. "Don't forget that." I grabbed her hand as we went into the house and headed to bed. It had been a very long and exhausting day.

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Most of the week was spent the same way. We slept in late because we were up late watching movies or talking or making out or a combination of the three. Raven would pull herself out of bed and go running and I would run patrol. I'd meet her on the beach and we'd ride back to Raven's house together. We spent a couple afternoons with my mom and Charlie. I could tell Charlie wanted to ask Raven all sorts of questions about what happened to her, but he did a good time biting his tongue.

Raven's mom called on Tuesday and told us that she wasn't going to make it to LaPush at all that week and to please respect her rules. We didn't quite know what that meant, but I assumed it was all to prevent us from having sex. Since we already had that talk and hadn't gotten carried away, I figured we were doing (or not doing) what she expected.

One afternoon and evening was spent in a Harry Potter marathon at the Cullen's house. We called first and made sure Bella knew we were coming. It was getting easier for both Bella and Raven to be around each other. We went hiking and cliff diving another afternoon. Raven was brave and I was scared to death when she jumped in feet first. The weather was remarkably beautiful most of the week, but the forecast was not bright. Thursday it was supposed to storm.

Raven got up earlier than normal to run on Thursday, hoping to beat the rain. The room was gray and glum and it was easy for me to roll over and fall back asleep after she kissed me goodbye. My cell phone rang about a half hour later.

"Seth!" Edward's voice was urgent. "The pack picked up Gerry's scent in La Push. You need to phase and check in with the pack, NOW!" My heart stopped. The one day I was not out on patrol at the same time Raven was running, this would have to happen. I got up out of Raven's bed and ran straight for the cover of the forest. I couldn't even remember if I closed the front door. I shredded my last pair of clean shorts.

The pack mind was roiling and it was difficult to tell who what saying what.

"He's got her cornered on the beach." Quill said.

"It looks like they're just talking." Leah said.

"Don't make a move until we can all emerge at the same time." Jacob instructed. "Seth where are you?" I didn't say anything as they saw what I saw and they could feel my anxiety.

"Guys." We were all drawn to Embry's view. "What's that in his hand?"

"Shit!" "Fuck!" "What the hell?"

"That's a gun."

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**A/N: Tell me what you think.**


	21. Chapter 21--Sweat, Blood, and Tears

**A/N: I've had a hard time figuring out all the little details that pull the story together, but I think I've got it. I hope to have Seth's POV up by tomorrow night. As always, tell me what you think.**

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I began to like the way running made me feel now that I felt confident doing it. I finally felt like anyone watching wouldn't look at me and say 'Hey! Look at the fat girl trying to get into shape! Good for her!' I know I looked pretty good in my running clothes. More than that, I liked the feel of the sand between my toes. I don't think I'd like it as much if I actually wore shoes. I learned to like running in the rain because it kept me from getting too hot. I even loved my playlist. I constructed it using songs that kept my pace where I wanted it to be and for how long. Today I was on my short run playlist. It was more intense, but shorter in duration. Adjusting the length of my runs determined where I began the run, but I always turned around at the same place. It was comforting. I wanted to get back home and make Seth breakfast which I hadn't done all week.

I pondered on all the fun things we'd done this week and I concluded that this was the best spring break ever. My favorite part of the entire week was the evenings I spent alone with Seth just talking and kissing. My body didn't always agree with his self-imposed law of chastity, but my heart did. It made our nights sweeter and more intimate instead of just being about getting off. There were times when I felt like I just couldn't get enough of him, but one of us always pulled back and diverted the other's attention from the throbbing need the hormones induced.

I marveled how our friendship was ever present, but magnified. We still argued about the same thing and he loved to push my buttons and get me worked up. Sue saw him doing it at her house the other day and pulled him into the kitchen by his ear and told him to knock it off before she told me to dump his butt. He found me alone in the kitchen about an hour later and showed me how sorry he was by assaulting my neck with his lips. He knew that was my favorite spot.

I also loved the way he let me do things even though it scared the crap out of him to watch. Cliff diving was a trip. I knew that with the wolves there that I was going to be okay. If I controlled my launch and body position while entering the water, Seth and the others would take care of the rest if something went wrong. So, while they were arguing about who was going to go first, I ran towards the edge, planted my foot the way I'd see them do 100 times before but was to chicken to join in, folded my arm across my chest, and waited for impact. There were three splashes behind me and we all surfaced laughing in adrenaline induced giddiness. From everything we'd done and all we accomplished I was just sure that my life could not get any better than it already was. Or I was on a running-induced endorphin high that just made me love everyone and everything.

Nate Ruess was singing about keeping one foot in front of the other and I was I lost in his message so I didn't notice the dark figure that stepped out from behind my turn around rock. When I finally recognized Gerry's form and stopped, it was too late for me to get away. The gun in his hand would halt my retreat if he chose to use it. I could see his lips moving so I pulled my ear buds out of my ears. I didn't say a word.

"I thought you'd be here." Gerry repeated conversationally. He didn't bring attention to the gun in his hand so I didn't either. I was scared. I wondered how he knew that today was the only day Seth hadn't come with me. Maybe he didn't know. But I knew someone was doing patrol and someone was bound to see something, right? God, I hoped so.

"How are you here?" It was the only question I could come up with to ask him out loud. He was supposed to be in the hospital. He was four hours away from his friends and family in Portland who would help him. How did he get out of the hospital? How did he get up here to La Push? Where did he get a gun? How'd he know where my rock is? Well, the last question I guess I had given him the answer. I had described to him my running pattern and how much I loved that rock because it meant I could turn around. He had laughed with me about that and shared his soccer training horror stories with me.

"Let's just say that my dad is a complete idiot and leave it at that." Gerry answered with a smirk. He apparently had not made any progress in his therapy. He was here to finish the job he started and I hoped that job did not include killing me. I also wondered why I hadn't taken any martial arts classes. I was in shape now, I should learn karate. I mentally placed that on my to-do list. I wondered why I wasn't more scared. And then I heard the rumble. That's why. I knew the sound of the wolves rumbling and I could hear it in the trees. They were here watching and waiting for the right opportunity. All I had to do was keep him talking. I was safe…or I had to keep telling myself I was safe. Even if the rumbling was in my mind, I had to keep telling myself they were not too far away.

"Therapy is doing wonders for you I see." I blurted out before thinking. The look on his face was amused. That was good, because I almost regretted saying it, not knowing how he'd respond.

"You're friends really know how to write a contract. My dad's lawyers couldn't find a loophole." Gerry explained. "That doctor didn't believe I was sincere like my dear daddy did." His tone when he talked about his father was mocking.

"So he knows you're here?" I asked totally confused as to how he got out, got a ride, and got a gun. Surely his dad wouldn't give him a gun.

"I said he was stupid, not me." Gerry answered. He always had a way of responding to questions without answering therm. "So, how's life been treating you since the last time I saw you?" He asked conversationally. "It's been almost two months. I've missed you." He stuck out his bottom lip in a mock pout.

"Well, I've been busy." I could talk about light stuff. Maybe that could distract him. "School and exercising and stuff."

"How come you haven't come to see me?" When I didn't answer he added, "Your boyfriend did."

"I…uh…" I didn't know what I should say. I was the one who suggested that Seth go first. Of course Seth didn't want me going at all and this was his condition of allowing me to go if ever. I wasn't going to tell Gerry that, though.

"I thought it was sweet. I didn't know we were so close." Gerry looked down at the gun in his hand and inspected the back of his other hand. "Of course he didn't believe my sincerity, either." A venomous tone underscored his last sentence that sent a chill up my spine. "He reminded me of some things that were unpleasant and he's the one that made the doctor doubt my earnestness. I have a message for him."

"Well," I started trying to get off the beach and go somewhere there would be witnesses. What if the pack wasn't in the trees and I had only imagined the rumbling? "He's at my house if you want me to take you there."

"No." He said in a low and threating voice. "You're going to be my message." He started to move towards me. My breath deserted me and my chest heaved on my inhale trying to call it back. I didn't think to scream, it wouldn't have done any good anyway. I chose this portion of the beach to run on because no one ever came here. I probably would have lost all my strength and fallen down if I didn't hear the din of growling behind me. Suddenly my legs had strength. The pack was there. I was safe.

Gerry didn't know that though. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. I watched his grip on the gun tighten, but I didn't turn around. I knew what the threat was and it wasn't a threat to me. I wasn't even that worried if he shot one of them because I knew how quickly they healed and he didn't have enough bullets to do any real damage to them. It was Gerry's turn to be scared now and I wanted him to know that I wasn't.

The volume of the pack's growling increased as they got closer to me. I felt a cold wet nose touch my hand and I looked over and saw Seth and rubbed behind his ear before he pulled his head up to its full height. Gerry's mouth dropped open in disbelief. His eyes slid from one mammoth wolf to another. I looked on either side of me and they flanked me like a defending army. I knew them all by sight. Jacob was to my right flanked by Quill. My arm was cradled under Seth's massive neck and Leah and Embry stood to his left. I felt protected, but not safe. I wouldn't feel safe until that gun was out of his hand.

"What the hell?" His voice was full of awe but laced with fear. All the wolves had their teeth bared and I leaned into Seth for strength. "Are you a wolf whisperer? Are they tame?"

I laughed. When I thought about the whole situation all I could do was laugh. The guy who raped me cornered me on a deserted beach with a gun and a pack of triple large wolves approaches us and he asks if they're tame? Gerry looked a little irritated at my laughter and it broke the momentary spell the wolves had over him.

"No." I answered when I regained my composure. "They're not tame." Seth licked my cheek seemingly belying my point. "They can be brutal killers when a member of their tribe is threatened." It was true. The pack was to protect the tribe from all threats, not just vampires. Gerry was a threat to me and I was a member of the tribe. That was immensely humbling and comforting at the same time.

"You're crazy!" Gerry laughed. "You're trying to tell me that these are members of your tribe? I think you've spent too much time writing your tribe's legends. You've started to believe in them." The wolves grumbled again and Embry snapped his teeth at Gerry.

"Great, now you've upset Embry." I said. I smiled over at him. He yelped in response. I wouldn't have called the situation funny, but it was comical. If Gerry came to _OUR_ land and territory to send Seth a message by hurting me he wasn't as smart as he thought he was. I would even bet that the woods were crawling with vampires, too. A few seconds later I felt a shock of soothe affirming that thought. So Edward and Jasper were both there.

"You've named them?" He asked incredulously.

"Their parents did." I answered back. "That's customary when someone is born." I was glad Edward was in the trees because I really wanted to know what was going through Gerry's head.

"You're seriously telling me that these are people from your tribe?" He asked again shaking his head and assessing each wolf again. He hadn't forgotten about his gun. I think that was the only reason he hadn't crapped his pants.

I felt a tremor run through Seth's body and I moved my arm. He phased back to human form and I unconsciously moved to step in front of his nakedness. I don't know why that was important to me at that time, but it was. He moved an arm around my waist in a very possessive gesture.

"Yes, that's what she's telling you." Seth said. "You have a message for me? Tell me, don't send it through Raven."

Gerry smirked. "Well you dog, you." I watched his grip loosen and tighten on the gun again. "Have you sealed the deal yet? Have you _mated_ and marked your territory?" I could tell he was trying to goad Seth into attacking him. "I bet you do it doggie style."

Growls and barks thundered through the air again and I seriously wondered where he got his courage and audacity. Did he think because he had a gun that five large wolves couldn't take him apart? It seemed as if he saw his plan for revenge unraveling so he was trying to get them to attack him. Did he think that he would live through such an encounter? He was either suicidal or he underestimated the pack and their willingness to eliminate a threat.

Seth's arm tightened around me and pulled me closer to him. "You really have no idea, do you?" Seth asked him. Then, in an act never done in front of anyone buy Leah, Seth lowered his lips to the space right below my ear and lightly kissed it. I sighed at the tenderness during the very tense situation. His arm trembled, but he was in control. Seth was displaying our intimacy and how that was something he would never have with me. Anger registered through Gerry's smirk as Seth delivered his own message.

"What's your message Gerry? We have other things to do today and I'm sure you have a therapy session to attend." Seth jibed.

Gerry's smirk dissolved into a mask of anger. His hand twitched on the gun again. Quill let out a long and loud howl.

"Now you've done it." Seth said. "You might as well give me the damn gun."

"Why?" Gerry asked looking down at it.

"Well, let's forget the fact that there are five fucking huge wolves standing in front of you who'd love nothing better than to tear you limb from limb. But that howl just called the other pack of wolves and they'll be here in a few minutes… their pack is bigger." He added. "Then, you have to realize that the bullets in your clip will not cause any permanent damage to any of us before we rip your measly little head off." Seth's voice was nonchalant but there was a menacing tone in it as well.

"Then I'll have to put the bullets where they'll hurt the most then." I saw Gerry lift his gun and aim it at me. The gun sounded as I felt Seth spin me around and yank me to the ground and I heard the gun fire again. I felt a searing pain in my lower back and then Seth was lying on top of me in the sand. I turned my head and saw that Gerry, too, was lying on the beach, but blood seeped from a wound in his head.

"You wolves better get out of here. NOW!" I heard Charlie's voice say. "Someone please bring Seth some pants." Seth pulled himself off me and I kept staring at Gerry's lifeless body with the blood leaking from the hole in his head. His eyes were open, but heavy lidded and his expression was blank. He wanted to kill me. He was going to kill me.

"Raven?" Seth called. "Are you okay?" His expression was very serious and I watched the color drain out of his face.

I tried to sit up, but I couldn't move my legs. "Seth, I need help." I lifted myself up and rested on my elbows and forearms and Carlisle was there in a flash.

"Tell Bella to go to Charlie's house." Carlisle directed in a calm but urgent voice to Edward who had also miraculously appeared. That's when I noticed the big pool of blood that was forming around my body. "Raven." Carlisle called. "Are you in pain?"

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie asked his eyes full of concern.

"She's been shot." Carlisle said. "And it looks like it has hit her spine. I'm going take her to my house and see what I can do." Carlisle rubbed his worried forehead as he thought. "Someone tell me their blood type is AB positive!" His voice became deep and loud and it seemed to penetrate everyone on the beach. I had never heard Carlisle so disconcerted. I started to feel dizzy. I was scared again.

"Why can't I move my legs?" I asked and my voice sounded a little hysterical.

"Calm down, honey." Carlisle whispered to me. His breath smelled very nice. "We're going to fix you up.

"I have AB positive blood. We just did that lab in biology last week. I'm glad I paid attention." Seth said. He had shorts on, but they were a little too big.

"Charlie, I'm going to have to take Raven back to our house. I have everything there that I need to treat her except the blood. For that I'm going to need Seth." Carlisle said as he leaned me back against the sand. "Roll over, Sweetheart." He said quietly to me. I did what I could to help him, but that wasn't much. He helped me and I turned my head away from Gerry's body.

"Why don't we take her to the hospital?" Charlie asked. "I can have an ambulance here quickly."

"A number of reasons, Charlie." Carlisle explained. "Firstly, that would take too long. Secondly, the hospital ran out of AB positive blood this morning. I only took note because I just finished Raven's rape report last night and her blood type is the same and there is no substitute for her. There is shipment on the way, but we won't have time to wait. And finally, if Seth does donate the blood we need, we can't do that at the hospital. You are aware that he is a shape shifter and we need to do this in our home." Carlisle explained. Charlie's expression was awkward and uncomfortable.

"Need to know, Charlie." Jacob reminded him.

"Baaaah! Whatever! Does Sue know about this?" He asked quietly.

"Leah tells her way too much for it to be a secret." Jacob said through a smirk. "She's in the woods looking for her clothes."

"Leah too?" Charlie's voice jumped up an octave. "That explains why Sue's never concerned when they're out all night."

While Jacob and Charlie were bantering, Carlisle had examined where the bullet hit me in the back and rolled me back over. Seth reached down and picked me up. "Oh, baby!" He breathed into my ear. "I'm so sorry!" He peppered my face with light kisses. "I'm so sorry! He just wanted to hurt me."

"Seth, give her to me and follow me home. We have more shorts at the house if you rip those." Carlisle said. He saw Seth hesitate. "I run faster than you unless you phase and you can't carry her if you phase." Seth acquiesced and gently handed me to Carlisle. He kissed me on the top of my head.

"Run?" Charlie asked.

"Need to know, Charlie." Jacob reminded. "Can you take care of this here? I can stay and answer questions if you need me to." Charlie nodded and before I knew it, I was being whisked off to the Cullen's house but I wasn't conscious by the time we arrived there.


	22. Chapter 22--Blood Ties

**A/N: Just a few more to go. Will Raven ever walk again? Please read and review. Tell me what you like and what you don't like.**

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"Edward! I want to see her!" He was fiddling with the needle that had been in my arm for over an hour.

"There's no point right now. Carlisle is extracting the bullet and there are no pets allowed in the Cullen OR." Edward teased me trying to keep the tone light. "The best thing you can do is sit here and let me drain you of blood like a good vampire should. Rest up, because we may need more."

"Oh, that makes me feel better. How much blood has she lost?" They were taking a lot of blood and that really worried me. Edward eyed me speculatively and I could see him trying to decide whether or not to tell me something.

"Whatever you're deciding to tell me just spit it out!" I knew he could read my mind, but I needed to take my mind off of my Raven dying.

"Raven doesn't _need_ this much blood. We're taking extra just in case." Edward explained but didn't elaborate.

"Just in case of what?" I asked panic creeping in my tone.

"Just in case of anything…or nothing. You regenerate quickly, so it won't hurt." Edward assured. We were interrupted by a knock at the door. I heard the door open down stairs and Charlie's voice filled the house.

"Hello, Esme. I need to see Seth." He declared. He was all businesslike and totally in Chief Swan mode. "I need to ask him some questions for the report." Esme directed him up here.

"Would you like something to eat, Charlie? I'm making a tray for Seth right now." Esme asked and it made my stomach grumble.

"How did Charlie know to be on the beach? How did he get there so fast?" I asked Edward quickly. "Short version."

"I didn't want the packs to have to cover up Gerry's death because I figured Gerry's dad would cause way too much trouble if that happened. I called Charlie's house and Sue told me he was at Billy's. He already knew Jacob turned into a wolf, so calling him to the beach wouldn't have revealed much more than he already knew. Charlie is going to have a lot of paperwork to fill out for shooting Gerry, but it will all be legal and forgo a deeper investigation." Edward explained. "So, answer his questions and don't give him any grief." Edward smiled at me.

Charlie knocked tentatively on the door while entering at the same time. "Seth? How are you, son?" He asked. He looked concerned. He'd been my step-father for a few years and before that he was my dad's best friend. He was always kind and fun-loving and I knew he cared about me. I even liked it when he called me son because he would have done that whether or not he married my mom.

"Pissed off that they have strapped to a chair and I can't be with Raven." I answered honestly.

"Aren't you giving the blood that's saving her life?" Charlie asked with a deadpan face. I could tell he was trying to make me feel better about being here instead of with her.

"Well, if you're going to bring logic into this situation, then you're just going to have to leave." I said with a small smile showing him that I appreciated the gesture.

"Look, I have some reports to file and I don't quite know what to write. I can't put in there that four large wolves had him cornered on the beach." Charlie looked extremely uncomfortable. "Jake told me to write what was true, but omit the hocusy-pocusy parts." Charlie rubbed his chin and shook his head. "That means I'll report you and Raven on the beach alone with…" He consulted his notepad that he just pulled out of his pocket. "…this Gerry Pelones."

"Sounds like a good idea that will go along with your own moral code." I replied. Charlie really was a good man and I didn't want to make him lie in any of his reports. He pulled out a little cassette recorder from his police jacket and switched it on.

"Then tell me what happened that led both you and Raven to the beach. Also try to include how Gerry would know to find you there." Charlie said. I thought about what would be the best answer to keep the Cullens out of the story and the other pack members. Charlie was patient with me while I organized my thoughts. Charlie knew the story of Raven's rape and was familiar with who Gerry was.

"Well, Raven goes running just about every single day. She's had this pattern for months. There's this one rock on the beach that she calls her turnaround rock. Everyone who spends anytime with Raven knows about her turnaround rock because she loves it so much." Edward smiled as he saw the memories in my head.

"Why does she love it so much?" Charlie asked.

"Because that is the place where her run is half over. She really hates to run." I added. "So Gerry would know, since they spent so much time together in Portland, that is where she turns around and that is where he waited for her." I had to fudge the next part a little bit, but for the most part it was true.

"I decided to run with Raven this morning, but I was a little late getting to the beach. She knows I can run faster than her so she got started knowing I would catch up with her." I explained. I was pretty pleased with that explanation. Edward smiled and Jasper shot me with some soothe to urge me on like before. Charlie just nodded.

"When I got near the turnaround rock I noticed that Raven was talking to someone. When I got a little closer I realized it was Gerry and that he had a gun. I heard a little of their conversation and she was trying to get him to go with her to her house. He said he had a message for me. I could tell that she was very frightened and that she was trying to get him someplace where there would be people around. It wasn't until he lifted the gun that I realized that his message to me was going to be a dead Raven." My arms started shaking as I finished my concoction of half-truths. Jasper hit me with some soothe and didn't retreat.

"Can you tell me what happened from your end, Charlie? The next thing I knew I was on top of Raven and Gerry was dead." I said.

"Well, I got a call." He looked at Edward but didn't say who called him out loud. "The caller reported a suspected rapist and escapee from a mental institution was on the beach and that I should go see what was going on. When I arrived I viewed a young man brandishing a gun. I couldn't hear what was being said, but when he raised his weapon to fire on you and Raven, I fired on him. I'm just sorry Raven was hit even though." Charlie said. "How is Raven, anyway?" Charlie asked Edward as he switched the recorder off.

"Dad is still working on her, but she'll live. The question is whether or not she'll have use of her legs." Edward paused like he was listening to someone, which he probably was. "There is too much swelling right now to tell but he did remove the bullet successfully and stopped the bleeding." Edward reported. I relaxed a little. Maybe they'd take the needle out of my arm.

"We still need a little more blood just in case." Edward arched his eyebrow and answered my thought.

Esme entered the room laden with a tray full of all sorts of food. "Seth, you need to eat. They've taken a lot of blood and it is Carlisle's orders that you eat 75% of what is on this tray." She smiled at Charlie. "Charlie gets the other quarter. Dr. Cullen wants to make sure you are well fed too."

We heard Jacob come in the front door and he sniffed his way to us. When he came in he headed straight for the food tray. "I'm going to go make another tray. Don't you touch Seth's food! He's giving blood." Esme warned Jacob on her way out the door. Charlie smiled after her.

"Why did Carlisle send Bells to my house?" Charlie asked taking one of the sandwiches from the tray.

"You know Bella and the sight and smell of blood." Jacob replied without even thinking. Again, it wasn't even a lie. It both impressed me and bothered me how easily truth could be manipulated to lead someone to believe a certain way. I knew what we were doing was for the protection of those who aren't part of the supernatural world, but how often are other people misled for nefarious reasons?

"Yeah, she's always been funny that way." A shadow crossed Charlie's face. "Glad to hear that hasn't changed." He said under his breath.

Carlisle came in feigning fatigue. He had changed into a clean pair of scrubs. "Don't worry, Seth, she's going to be fine." Carlisle assured me. "Charlie, thank you for everything." Charlie simply nodded not sure what to say. I know he was trying to figure out what the Cullen's were and trying not to think about it at the same time.

"Can I see her?" I almost jumped out of the chair.

"She's sleeping, Seth. I gave her a pretty powerful sedative. I want you to finish your food and take a nap, too. I'll want more blood when you wake up." Carlisle said.

"More blood? Are you drinking it?" I asked. Jacob choked on one of my sandwiches. Edward and Carlisle just smiled while Charlie beat on Jacob's back.

"That would not be appetizing." Edward said through a smirk while Carlisle chuckled.

"That's what you get for eating his food, Jacob." Esme said as she reentered the room with more sandwiches. "Seth, don't get cheeky. You know Carlisle is just taking precautions for Raven's best interest."

"I know, I know. I just feel useless." A surge of anger rolled through me. "What's the point of turning into a big dog to protect the tribe if I can't protect the tribe? This is the second time. Damn it! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME!" I don't know where the anger came from, but it came quickly. Jasper must have heard me because he was at the door in a moment and he didn't take it away.

"You okay?" He asked. My breaths came quickly but I was controlling it. I nodded at him. Charlie moved towards me but didn't know what to do with his hands. "I'm okay, Charlie. I just had to let that out."

"Son, you couldn't have prevented this. Your presence probably saved her life. If you hadn't moved her when you did, she probably wouldn't have survived. And right now, you're giving her the blood she needs." Charlie tried to reassure me. "I don't know about this pack business, but I doubt you guys can prevent everything."

"And," Edward said too low for Charlie to hear, "it was the pack who smelled him and got you there in time."

_But I should have been with her to begin with! I slept in!_ I thought to him. Jasper shot me with so much soothe I almost fell on the floor. Good thing I was already sitting down.

"Knock it off." Jasper said. "You know better than that. Gerry's the douchebag here. Those are your words." I sighed and leaned back against my chair. Esme rested her hand on my shoulder.

Edward must have decided that I had given enough blood because he finally removed the needle and bandaged my arm.

"Seth, go take a shower and change clothes. Then do as Carlisle says and take a nap." Esme said. I couldn't think of anything better to do and I was feeling pretty drained. Plus, I was still covered in Raven's blood from picking her up. Charlie relaxed a little seeing I was complying so easily. There really wasn't anything I could do so I might as well.

"Okay. As long as someone wakes me up just as soon as Raven wakes up. Okay?" I said. They all nodded. "Charlie, will you tell mom I'm okay and that I love her?" He let out a little cough and nodded. I ate the rest of the food Esme brought me quickly and took a shower. I don't know whose bed I slept in but it was very nice. If I had to guess, it looked like the room was probably Alice's.

When I woke up I didn't know where I was or what time it was and I had to search my memory to figure the first part out. I could smell Raven and that comforted me, but her scent was a little different. It was better. I stretched my body and I thought I'd be stiff, but the mattress was so nice, I didn't feel anything. That's when I heard her breathing. I'd know her breathing anywhere. I rolled over to face the center of the huge bed I was lying in and there was Raven asleep on the other side. I couldn't be mad at that. They hadn't woken me up, but they sent her to me.

"Actually she insisted." Edward said quietly from the corner where he was reading a book. "I'm just here to make sure you didn't roll over and crush her. I'll leave you two alone now."

"Thanks." I whispered. He smiled and left the room and inhaled Raven's scent deeply. Again, she smelled like Raven, but better…more wolfy. That must be my blood altering her scent. I didn't know where I could touch her. I couldn't believe that they'd bring her down to me if she had a spinal injury. I moved over and touched her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open at my touch.

"Hey, Beautiful." I smiled at her. She immediately moved closer into my arms. "Careful!" I cried. "You're hurt!" I wrapped her up in my arms despite my words. It was like my body was on auto pilot.

"I'm fixed." She said. "You fixed me." She shivered a little as she snuggled against my body leeching some of its heat.

"You're cold." I said running my hand up and down her back trying to warm her up in through the thin scrubs she was wearing. She nodded and I felt her sob into my chest. "What's wrong? I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I let Gerry do this! I'm sorry I couldn't protect you!"

"Stop, Seth." She looked up into my eyes. Hers were watery and clear like the tears had just cleansed them. "You can't protect me from everything, but I'm so grateful that you're always there to help pick up the pieces. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. It kind of makes me grateful that my mom was such a shitty mom and left me at your house so often." I kissed the top of her head. I kissed her cheek. I kissed the tears still streaming down her face. I kissed her lips.

"Besides," She tried to say between kisses, "your blood fixed me. So were even." I stopped kissing her and looked at her again.

"What do you mean my blood fixed you?" I asked. She guided my hand under the scrub shirt to where her wound was. I could feel a little pucker in the skin, but she was completely healed. I sat up quickly, jarring her a little bit, so I could look at it. She giggled.

"I mean whatever property in your blood that helps you regenerate so quickly had the same effect on me, only a little slower. It took me a couple more hours than it would have taken you." She winked at me.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked. She had only been in Carlisle's office about an hour and half when I finally decided to shower and sleep.

"A while." She said. "Probably about six hours. They drew a lot of blood from you." She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you so much. Now you've truly given me everything. Well…" She stopped.

"What? What else is there?" I reflected the coy smile she was giving me.

"Someday I want to make your babies…but we have a few things to do before that begins to happen…like graduate and go to college and get married." She answered. My heart nearly exploded I was so happy. I pulled her back into a tight hug and my fingers ran across her scar again. It was almost an absentminded gesture and it was one I kept for the rest of our lives. My blood strengthened our bond. My blood saved her.

We lay there talking for a while. We reviewed how much fun this whole week had been and vowed that this minor incident would not tarnish it. I loved that she always seemed to focus on the positive aspects of every situation. She has had so many terrible things happen to her, but she doesn't focus on those parts. When our conversation slowed and our lips were a little swollen I finally asked the question that had been nagging on my mind for a while.

"Does your mom know yet? How are we going to explain this?" I asked.

"No one has been able to get a hold of her. Carlisle has been trying to reach her cell phone, but she's got it turned off. She might be on a plane somewhere. They did get a hold of Gerry's dad and he'll be here tomorrow to claim Gerry's body." She shuddered. "I'm scared, Seth."

"Scared of what, baby?" I smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"My mom and I have been getting along so well since…since…you know." I nodded. "But this has to wreck her relationship with Gerry's dad. There's no way he will keep dating her after I'm the reason he's dead. She's going to hate me. And if she does keep dating his dad…I will probably hate her." And just like that, my calm, confident, positive Raven was replaced by the insecure little girls who still only wanted her mother's love and approval.


	23. Chapter 23--Pushing all the Limits

**A/N: This started in one direction and took a sharp turn in Alice's closet and then another sharp turn at Charlie's house. There's some rehashing of sensitive material here. This chapter totally got away from me, but I like it. Tell me what you think. Too many things going on? Should I have made this more than one chapter? I don't know.**

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He pulled me in tighter to his chest, which I didn't think was possible. This was my favorite spot in the whole world. Here in Seth's arms I could face anything; I could handle and do anything.

"Shhh." Seth soothed. "We'll get through this. Your mom loves you. She's just really shitty at showing it." He smoothed my hair and ran his hands down my back again. "Just give her some time to assimilate it. You know she usually needs a do over before she gets it right." That made me smile. My mom did always need a do over.

We stayed in the warm and safe cocoon of Alice's room for a while longer. His fingers found my little scar from this morning and ran over it again and again while our lips fell into their familiar pattern. I think he was proud that his blood healed me; I could feel it. It seemed to erase his guilt and bring him back fully to me. His hands got bolder as they slid around front and their progress was not impeded by my undergarments which had been removed for surgery. Our breathing increased as my hands mirrored his exploration and I forgot about my mom and my fear, which I think was his point. I forgot about everything for a while as Seth allowed his hands to explore and linger in places he had previously restricted himself from. His caresses and massages sent waves of pleasure through my body and I'm sure a moan escaped my lips that Seth eagerly swallowed.

Then I heard Bella come in. Not in the room where Seth and I were currently making out. I could hear her talking from downstairs at the front door. I pulled away from Seth a little bit.

"What's wrong?" Seth breathed and quickly slid his hands out of my shirt like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I grabbed his hand and held it to my heart.

"It's not that." I whispered. "I was really enjoying that." He smiled and resumed his activity, but above my shirt this time. He made it very difficult to concentrate. I forced my thought to words, though. "No, I can hear Bella downstairs." I said. "And the others…I can hear their conversation. That's not normal."

"It is for me." Seth mused. "Can you hear Esme in the kitchen?" He asked. I thought about it and focused and I could. I had to focus on the light sounds that made it Esme instead of Emmett or even Carlisle. I could hear her closing the cabinet and…

"I smell spices. She's making…" I paused and inhaled the scent of cumin. It took my mind just a minute to place the spice and consider what Esme would do with it. "…tacos?" I looked at him and he smiled. I felt like I had spidy senses. "What's that noise? The thumping?" I asked him. I really couldn't place it though it sounded familiar.

"That's Rosalie chopping…" I cut him off because I could smell it now.

"Onion. She's chopping onions." I giggled. "Seth! You gave me superpowers!" I was so excited. What else could I do? I wondered if food would taste different…better. I wondered if… "I want to go for a run!"

"Not so fast." I heard Bella say from down stairs. "We have things to discuss and do first."

"They can hear us?" I asked suddenly mortified imagining all the noises I had been making over the last hour or so.

"They can hear our sounds and minds, smell us, feel us, predict us…well, predict you. It's kind of creepy, but you get used to it." Seth admitted. "It does come in handy now and then and they do try to tune us out." I didn't hear Bella's footsteps on the stairs, but I did hear her unlatch the door. Bella rushed towards me as I got up from the bed.

"Raven!" Bella hugged me tightly.

"Hey!" I said a little surprised by her sudden show of affection.

"You stink like a dog!" She said it so excitedly she hugged me again. She forced a giggle out of me.

"So I'm no longer your singer?" I said straining under the force of her tight grip. I now understood why she was so giddy and hugging me. Seth told me I smelled more 'wolfy' to him, but I didn't realize it would affect the way I smelled to Bella, too. Though, it did make sense.

"Nope. Jacob told me about the difference in your scent, so I came over to see. Carlisle isn't sure whether or not it is permanent, but for now I'm going to enjoy being around you until I can't stand it anymore." Bella explained. "I'm here to take you to Charlie and Sue's house. She's called your mom."

"Wait, she answered Sue's call?" I had called her after I woke up from surgery and even thought she didn't answer, it didn't go straight to voicemail, either. I knew her phone was on and I knew that she just ignored my call. Why would she answer Sue's and not mine?

"Well, Sue kept calling until she finally answered. Your mom had to know something as up between your call, Seth's, Carlisle's, Charlie's, and Sue's. After Sue's third call, she finally called Sue back. Sue was so irritated that she wouldn't tell her anything over the phone. She only told her to get her butt to my dad's house because there were some serious incidents that needed to be discussed. And, apparently, Gerry's dad isn't answering your mom's calls either. I'm not quite sure what happened there, but she can't get ahold of him and she is upset." Bella said at almost vampire speed.

"Did you just catch all of that?" Seth asked bewildered. "I barely got that." He beamed at me. I just nodded. I just didn't understand my mother. Things had been so much better since we talked, but I noticed she was spending more and more time away from home.

"So, I'm here to take you back to Charlie's house," Bella continued, "who doesn't want to know how you're healed but he's glad you're better. He left your shooting out of the reports because he doesn't know how to explain your recovery. Your mom doesn't need to know you were wounded, but we're going to tell her that Gerry had a gun which is why Charlie fired at him." That put Steven Tyler's voice in my brain on auto repeat substituting Janie's name with Gerry. Damn, I hated that song even more, now.

"So, why am I going to Charlie's?" I asked, irritated, really not wanting to confront my mother. Maybe Seth would just want to stay here and push the limits of our physical relationship a little more. That was a nice distraction.

"Because you need to face your mother." Bella said flatly. "Actually she needs to face you. Sue is livid that she's been incommunicado with you for so long." I knew Bella was right; I just didn't want to do it. I had a bad feeling about it.

"I need to…umm…" I wanted to put some underwear on before I went to Charlie's house. I needed to be dressed in more than scrubs. "I need some different clothes."

"Alice. Go get Raven some clothes. I know you went shopping for her." I heard Edward say from the other side of the house. I heard Alice squeal and clap her hands excitedly as she ran towards her room. I never heard her steps, and I didn't actually see her, but before I knew it she had pulled me into her enormous closet and was throwing expensive looking underwear at me and the coolest pair of jeans I had ever seen.

"It really is time you start showing off that figure you've worked so hard to get." Alice said and she handed me a fitted shirt that I was sure was going to be way too small. "Seth! Get out of here. Go down stairs and wait with Edward. Bella, make sure he goes." Alice commanded.

"Fine." He grumbled. "But if she's not out in five minutes I'm coming in to get her." I had to laugh at him. We had just spent the last four hours together. He was unconscious for most of it, but still. It was like he was already having separation anxiety.

Alice smirked at me. "He really, REALLY loves you." She whispered. This was not news to me so I just nodded. "So you need to let him appreciate _you_ more." She winked as I picked up the lacy underwear she had thrown at me.

"Alice! We don't…" I blushed. "We haven't…and we won't…" I stuttered.

"Raven, calm down. They just make you feel pretty. When a girl feels pretty she acts pretty. You are beautiful and it's time you believe it from your bottom up." She grinned at her own pun. "And when you are ready for…more, it will help then, too." It didn't look like she was leaving anytime soon and I didn't doubt Seth would come up and get me if I didn't hurry up so I changed quickly as soon as Alice turned around to root through some other drawers.

"How did you know my size?" I asked when I had the pretty bra, panties, and jeans on. I marveled at how I didn't have to suck my stomach in to button the jeans and after they were buttoned I didn't have a muffin top. It fastened right under my belly button and I ran my palm over my stomach that used to be a pooch. I noticed that the expensive bra shaped me well, and I looked like a woman instead of an adolescent girl. She was right, I felt feminine; I felt pretty.

"Please." Alice said. "This is what I do. Raven, you have really transformed yourself." She handed me the top again and I realized that maybe it wouldn't be too small. I pulled it over my head and the soft, pink material hugged my new curves. Alice turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I gaped in awe at myself. The shirt wasn't tight, but it was fitted so that my feminine curves were accentuated. The light pink brought out the natural blush of my russet cheeks and provided a nice contrast for my dark skin. The jeans also hugged my curves without being tight and creating the rolls and bulges I had been accustomed to my whole life. I had worked hard to be this person in front of the mirror, but I'd forgotten to take time to look in the mirror.

"It's amazing what a good bra will do, isn't it?" She smiled. "You have the assets, it's time to put them on display in a tasteful way. You have been wearing ill-fitting clothing for too long. Look at you!" She commanded. I couldn't help but stare. She quickly braided my hair while I regained my composure. I just turned back to her and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you, Alice." I whispered. "I do feel beautiful." A tear escaped my eye and she wiped away.

"You're welcome. And just because I've already been through this experience with Bella, I got you a really cool pair of converse to match that gorgeous shirt. I know how much you weirdos like your converse." I didn't know what to say. It wasn't often that I as at a loss for words.

I could hear Seth getting antsy downstairs. "I better hurry up." I said.

"You really can hear them down there?" Alice said.

"Yep, I wonder how long that will last." I mused aloud.

"Probably as long as you smell like a dog to Bella, I suppose." Alice answered. We both chuckled and headed down the stairs.

When Seth heard me coming down the stairs he looked up at me. The look of pure lust that crossed his face sent an electric jolt to my core and then settled between my legs. I smiled to myself knowing I already had this effect on him, but the intensity of his gaze made that jolt throb. When I reached him and he pulled me close and breathed into my ear.

"Fuck." His lips brushed the shell of my ear and he said it so softly that I doubted any vampire in the room heard it. My heightened hearing caught it, though and I almost passed out. I didn't know one word said in a certain tone could physically affect me so much. My pretty pink shirt reached the waistband of my jeans, but only barely, so if I stretched a line of skin was exposed. When I reached up to hug my Seth his warm fingers found that exposed line of skin and the throbbing increased. Why were there so many people around?

"Tell Alice 'Thank you'." I directed him with a smile.

"There aren't words in the English language or enough money in the world to repay that." Seth stammered. I couldn't believe his reaction to a pair of jeans and a fitted shirt. Edward and Jasper just smirked.

"Bella, get them to Charlie's so I don't have to listen to that." Edward laughed.

"Alice, let's go for a walk." Jasper said winking at his wife.

Before I knew it, Seth and I were in the back seat of Bella's Mercedes and I was trying to fend of Seth's carnal attack.

"Seth, if you give me a hickey before I have to talk to my mother I am going to be so pissed at you. And your punishment is I wear nothing but moo-moos for the rest of my life." I warned even though what he was doing to my neck almost made me straddle his lap and ravage him. "And I'm sure Bella doesn't want to be witness to this."

"Yeah, Seth. If you don't knock it off, I'm going to tell Leah how you're acting." Bella warned. "She'll neuter you."

Seth backed off and pouted a little. "Later." I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I'm sure I'll need some distraction after I talk to my mother." He smirked over at me as Bella pulled into father's driveway right next to my mother's car.

We could hear Sue's voice as we approached the porch. I didn't need to rely too much on my new sensitive hearing as Sue's raised voice leaked through the front door.

"Maura, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sue asked. I was surprised at both Sue's tone and words. I shot a worried look at Seth who was also a little surprised. "You get numerous phone calls telling you your daughter was held at gunpoint and you aren't the least bit worried?"

"Wow." He remarked. "I haven't heard her this angry since that time my dad went fishing with Charlie all day and forgot to tell her where he was. It was when everyone thought bears were killing people in the woods and my mom spent all day thinking he was dead." It crossed my mind that that exact thing happened no too long after that.

"What do you mean what the hell is wrong with me?" My mom said. Her voice was much softer, but just as irritated. She had her holier-than-thou tone she used with people she considered beneath her. "You presume to know my daughter and her motives?" She asked. "Raven is a master manipulator who is just looking for attention. She's resented me since I've spent so much time away from her and I've grown weary of her fantastic attempts to get my attention. It seems she has you fooled along with everyone else."

My heart shattered. My mom thought I manipulated people for attention? "She must have done something to lure Gerry to that beach and I do not for one minute believe that he would go through that much trouble to kill my daughter. She had to do something to set him up!" She stopped to consider her next sentence. "I think she got herself into a situation with Gerry that she was embarrassed to tell your son about. When she found out that Seth was coming that night after all, she staged the scene to cover her own indiscretion. The fact that she has conned the whole Cullen family into covering for her does not speak to highly of them, either." She finished.

"So you think Raven manipulated me." Charlie's ruff grumble was short and curt. Bella just shook her head. "You think a teenage girl manipulated a seasoned Chief of Police to the beach to shoot a boy because she cheated on her boyfriend?" Charlie's voice held as much incredulity as it did disgust. I heard my mom gulp. "The boy raped her and then stalked her to shoot her and you think she is fabricating the whole story?"

"She says he raped her. I have seen no proof of that." Maura returned, though with a little less conviction. Did she forget the bruises? Did she forget the nightmares? Did she forget how painful it was for me to pee for a week? Did she think I was making it all up?

"So you think she manipulated Dr. Cullen into fabricating a medical report. You think a seasoned doctor and surgeon who holds the respect and regard of the people in both Forks and La Push is going lie for an eighteen year old girl? Maura, I second my wife's question: What the hell is wrong with you?"

My head was spinning and at some point I began to cry. I don't remember when, but somehow I ended up on Seth's lap and he was soothing me by wiping the tears from my face. My mother thought I was making the whole thing up. She thought I was manipulating people with a sob story about being raped. She believed me capable of luring Gerry to the beach to be murdered. How despicable did she think I was? Why would she believe in Gerry and not me? What had I done to her that made her wholly distrust me and defend a raving lunatic? How could she hate me so much? I guess I could take it as a compliment that she thought me clever enough to manipulate so many people to my will, but I wasn't.

"I've read the report Dr. Cullen filed and I've seen the pictures following Raven's attack." Charlie continued. "You must be in some serious denial to produce such a delusion about your daughter. The fact that your daughter didn't need stitches from the tears he inflicted is a miracle." I winced at the memory. "That boy sadistically marked her body worse than any predator I have ever encountered in my career here in Forks. He wanted people to know what he had done. Do you want to see the file?" I heard Charlie walk across the room and pull open a drawer. "Look for yourself, Maura. If she faked this, then she should be in that mental hospital. I argued with Dr. Cullen extensively to withdraw the contract that merely put that boy in a hospital with no other legal ramifications. Dr. Cullen was adamant that his treatment would be comprehensive and it was what Raven wished. I'm sorry to admit that Dr. Cullen was wrong and it led to this situation."

"But," My mom tried to interrupt but Charlie cut her off.

"I'm not finished." We could hear the shuffle of papers like he was waving the file in her face. "Let me enlighten you on who the real manipulator is. That boy convinced a nurse at a guarded mental facility to give him her car keys so he could go set things right with Raven. He lied because on his way out, he stole a gun from the security guard he drugged with a stolen syringe filled with a sedative. That shows premeditation on Gerry's part. When it was clear to him that his original intent of soiling your daughter in the eyes of her boyfriend was not met, a fact that has been documented by his therapist and legally revealed by the terms of his committal agreement, he set out to shoot both of them. I did not fire my weapon until he raised his own. I don't fire unless the threat is real and I don't miss."

"How did you even know to be there?" Maura spat. Her voice had the tone of desperation she got when she knew her argument was weak.

"I was visiting with Billy Black when Jacob called me on my cell phone. He was meeting Seth for a run when he saw Gerry on the beach. They all knew that Gerry was supposed to be in the hospital." Charlie paused. "Do you really think that your eighteen year old daughter can pull the wool over the eyes of so many people? What I can't understand is why you are so willing to throw your own flesh and blood under the bus and stick up for a boy who has not only raped your only daughter but is the suspect in the rape of at least four other girls."

When Charlie said that, something inside me clicked. All of a sudden all the pain and fear I was feeling turned to indignation and anger. She was not going to break me. I sat up in Seth's arms who looked up at me surprised. He saw the look in my eyes and he knew that I was done being hurt. I detached myself from my feelings for my mother. I was ready to confront her and be done with her. He kissed my cheek. "Go get her." He said. I loved how he knew what I was feeling. We were twined.

I stood up and looked down at my new jeans. I remembered that I was pretty and I looked like a woman. I looked like the smart and intelligent woman that I was; I looked like a person who didn't have to manipulate people. People loved me because of who I was and they helped me because they loved me. Bella grabbed my wrist in her concern.

"Don't lose your temper." She said kindly. I could tell she didn't want me to say something I'd regret. I tried to give her a reassuring smile. I knew that Jasper wasn't here to help, but I knew I could do it on my own. I can't control my mother and I can't make her feel love for me. I can only control how I respond to her and I wasn't going to let her get the best of me. I was done seeking the affection of someone who may never love and appreciate me…not when I had so many people around me who did. There would be no more tears for her…not right now anyway. She didn't deserve them.

"She won't." Seth defended me. "She's calm. She's just fed up." Again, he knew me. I nodded at his assessment. I walked to the front door, turned the knob and entered the house without knocking. Bella and Seth followed me in, but trailed behind me. I stood in the doorway and Sue and Charlie noticed my presence. My mother's back was to me so I walked to Charlie and took the file from his hands. That's when she finally noticed me. I rifled through my file and found the stack of photographs. I walked to the couch where she was seated and dropped the first photograph on her lap.

"I don't know what kind of sex you have, mom, but I didn't find this pleasant." I said as she glanced at the photo of my bruised breasts. It was clear where Gerry had me squeezed hard enough to leave five finger prints and the numerous hickeys and bite marks stood out even on my dark skin. I found other pictures from other angles and held those in front of her face before dropping them in her lap.

"And the fact that he had to hold me down may be some indication that it wasn't consensual. Did you forget about the bruises on my wrists?" I showed her another picture to refresh her memory and dropped it in her lap. My voice was calm and did not waver. I finally found the picture I was looking for and dropped it in her lap. "I was lucky that when he ripped through my virginity that he didn't do enough damage to warrant stitches. Again, mother, I did not ask for, manipulate, or enjoy this in any way, shape, or form and neither did the other girls who have come forward describing the same experience. I am lucky that Seth showed up when he did so I didn't end up pregnant. Of course a child from that situation would have been more loved than I feel by you at the present moment." She looked at me, but I could see very little emotion on her face. I knew where I got my ability to detach, but she was much better at it.

"I'll leave tonight to get my things out of your apartment in Portland after I'm finished clearing my clothes and belongings out of your house here." I declared retrieving the pictures and placing them back in the file folder. I handed it back to Charlie.

"And where would you go?" She asked quietly testing my resolve.

"I'll go where I'm wanted, trusted, and loved." I answered. I had no idea where I was going to go, but I knew my car was mine and that helped a little.

"She actually has quite a few options." Bella said coming to my side and placing her arm around my shoulder. "In fact, I think we have a house in Portland where you can stay while you finish your last few weeks of school." I returned the smile she gave me.

"I suppose you're going to pay her tuition then? Her school is private, you know." My mother was just grasping at petty straws. I realized that I really knew nothing about her; not a thing. I could not fathom what had made her this way.

"Raven is no longer your concern." Seth said wrapping his arm around me from behind. "We've always been there for her when you haven't been. Nothing has changed there." Sue nodded her agreement.

"We're done here, Maura." Sue said.

"Unless there are charges filed for child endangerment." Charlie warned. "I wouldn't cause any more trouble." My mother stood rose from the couch in one graceful movement and left the house without a word.

I didn't have my mother's love, but I had a family. I had my life. I had Seth. I had more than many people could boast and I was going to concentrate on that.

"I want to go for a run." I said.


End file.
